Separation Anxiety

[Chatter Box]

Ok... so I did a search about this but all I'm finding is info on separation anxiety for parents and their children.

Basically right now I have 3 that are about the same age. 2 of them just turned 1 on 3/5 and the other is supposed to be 1 next month 4/13. One of the 1 year olds I've had for about 5 months (who is my worst offender)... and the other two I have had since they were 6 & 7 weeks old.

Basically they are all going through a severe separation anxiety thing. I think the 1 year old girl instigates it and the other two follow suit more or less. EVERY SINGLE TIME i leave the room she start's this blood curdling hysterical panic like screaming. She crawls to the gate and shakes it while shrieking and she is LOUD. She is very dramatic and emotional anyway. She does the same thing if you even calmly tell her "no" or "uh uhh" or redirect her to a toy if she's doing something she shouldn't be. Completely flips out over anything and everything. There is no fussing with her. Everything is a snot absorbed ridiculous ordeal.

Once the boys see and hear what's going on they join in. It is literally every single time I leave the room for any period of time. Taking out the stinky diaper pail. Making lunch. Getting one of the other kids up. Getting the phone. As soon as she sees me starting for the gate she completely flips out.

If I come back in and sit down.... they are all fine. They go about their day. It is just driving me absolutely bonkers though. I try so hard not to give into it because I feel like giving into it only encourages the behavior but the way she screams it just builds my anger if I let it go and try to ignore it. I've started putting her in her pack and play in her nap room every time and she's actually fine if I leave her in that alone. She calms right down and I don't hear a peep. I'll go get her after she's calmed down after awhile. I don't know what it is. The boys are usually fine if she's not in the room. They usually are only like that on their own if they are hungry and I leave but as soon as it's her freaking out they all go into complete hysterics.

I know they go through these phases but I am just about at the end of my rope with it. I just feel like she is in hysterical mode all day every day. Two of them are pretty clingy but she is excessively clingy. None of them at this point are bothered when their parents drop them off.

I guess I should be flattered but I'm really not... AT ALL.

[Blackcat31]

Ugh, I wish I had some advice for you other than what you are already doing but I don't.

I just try to deal with phases and try to make sure the kids know what I am doing, (i.e. telling them before I leave that I am leaving but will be right back) and then just doing what I need to do...despite any fuss.

Hang in there....hopefully the stage won't last long and if the DCG is the one who kind of initiates it, hoping she gets over it first too then so she can initiate peace for the rest then....

[rmc20021]

I had one who did that from the time he was 9 months old until he was about 14 months old. He would scream bloody murder if I even looked like I was going to be out of his sight. If he was in the high chair and I went around the door of the fridge he would scream. He was never happy about anything, wouldn't play or anything.

The only thing he ever wanted to do, even at that young age, was bully the other kids and my dog. He would hit them with toys (hard) throw things all the way across the room (hard and far), he would take his open hand and hit other kids right in the face.

Finally, when he got over that phase though, the next one he went into wasn't any better. As soon as he suspected I was going out of the room, he must have already been thinking of what he could get into because if I was only out of sight for 3 seconds, it was long enough for him to get into something he knew perfectly well he wasn't supposed to as he'd take off running as soon as he heard me returning.