Do You Allow

[mom2many]

I don't know how licensing inspections are where you are but here they are very in depth. They are even MORE in depth if the hours roll by and they don't find any violations. It takes a long while before they surrender and walk away from the inspection.

Two of the three inspectors I've had have twenty plus years of experience inspecting in my county. They know more in five minutes than a parent would know in five years. They are trained to inspect and they are trained to know which providers are hiding stuff and which ones are putting there best foot forward every day to comply.

A parent with a couple of weeks or month of experience parenting doesn't have a CLUE of the licensing regulations. They think about THEIR child and what THEY get when their kid is on your clock. That's what they are after and they should be.

They can't possibly understand the magnitude of over 500 points of compliance in 12 pages of regulations. They don't even really GET it when you tell them you got a 100 percent. I wish they really KNEW how crazy difficult that is to do once much less four times in a row unnanounced.

Two inspections ago the DHS would send a copy of the twelve page (both sided) compliance check to the provider. I showed the parents what I received back from them to show I had met every single one. I have AWESOME smart wonderful parents and not a one of them sat and read thru the twelve pages. They just want the bottom line... did you pass?

Well it sounds like your state handles things much different. Here in CA they come about every 3 years and I have heard about licensed family dc homes that have some pretty appalling things happening in between visits.

I have a one page safety checklist. CA is not very good about putting anything in writing and leave it up to the analysts to interpret what is okay or not and this even varies from county to county within the state!

Personally I would NEVER trust a CA state licensing agency to ensure a facility is safe at face value... there are WAY too many inconsistencies!

[frgsonmysox]

See I would think that a parent that works really long hours and is flying solo as a parent would want to use his precious few hours of awake time with his child being WITH his child alone. He would be the last parent I would allow to stay in my home with his child, knowing how little time he has alone with his kid. Kids NEED to be with their PARENTS and they NEED time to be HOME.

From what I'm reading in your other posts on the other thread about your openess with breastfeeding your baby and toddler at the same time when strangers are in your house....... It makes me wonder if that could be playing a part in his desire to hang out??

I have been on daycare boards for 15 years and have read the full archives of every board I have ran into. I've never heard of full breast out breastfeeding a providers own child during interviews. Not once in 15 years have I heard of that.

With your description of that and your description of his staying.. especially when he is SO pressed for non work time.. do you think it is possible that they are related to each other?

I hope you are safe and your kids are safe. I've been at this for a long while and have heard some really really scarry stories before where providers had Dad's that wanted to hang out and it turned out HORRIBLY. With that, your newness to home child care in your area, and your openess, I hope and pray he does not take advantage of your "openess".

I may vehemently disagree with your positions on these issues, but I am genuinely concerned putting all of these things together. Is your husband deployed too???

Um, no? He hangs out because we are friends and we get along. He enjoys having adult conversation and so do I.

Did you know.....

-You can be a man and be friends with a woman with nothing wrong going on?

-You can be a nursing woman with male friends and they aren't your friends because you are nursing?

-Nursing is not sexual to many many people, most people.

-A woman can be friends with her daycare childs dad and NOT have something bizarre as the reason?

-ALL of my friends have seen me nurse, I'm very open about it and I've been nursing NONSTOP for 9 years. I never cut one off before another begins so I always have a nursing child and will for the next 5 years or so at least. My friends like me for more than just my rack. I have a great rack, truly, but thats not why people are friends with me.

-DCD in question has never looked at me anywhere but my eyes. His wife used to nurse their child and therefore he is also pro nursing.

-Not all dads are perverts.

[youretooloud]

I have a great rack, truly, but thats not why people are friends with me.

Sigh...enjoy that now. One day it will all be over. ::

[frgsonmysox]

Sigh...enjoy that now. One day it will all be over. ::

I know it But then I'll get them lifted and be good for a few more years!

[nannyde]

Um, no? He hangs out because we are friends and we get along. He enjoys having adult conversation and so do I.

Did you know.....

-You can be a man and be friends with a woman with nothing wrong going on?

-You can be a nursing woman with male friends and they aren't your friends because you are nursing?

-Nursing is not sexual to many many people, most people.

-A woman can be friends with her daycare childs dad and NOT have something bizarre as the reason?

-ALL of my friends have seen me nurse, I'm very open about it and I've been nursing NONSTOP for 9 years. I never cut one off before another begins so I always have a nursing child and will for the next 5 years or so at least. My friends like me for more than just my rack. I have a great rack, truly, but thats not why people are friends with me.

-DCD in question has never looked at me anywhere but my eyes. His wife used to nurse their child and therefore he is also pro nursing.

-Not all dads are perverts.

Okay fair enough. You are in it not me. I wouldn't allow any of what you are describing but we run completely different gigs.

I see you answered the breast feeding part but I don't see your answer to why you would allow someone who works REALLY long hours away from his kid to use his precious awake time with his kid hanging out at your house?

How does that work with your AP dealio? You said you draw parents into your business with AP and they really like it. Where's the "parent" part of attachment parenting in hanging out for hours a week with your day care provider and kid as opposed to doing a quick pick up and get to gettin the attachment on with your kid?

What you describe is very confusing to me. It just doesn't mesh with your other posts. The babywearing... extended breast feeding... AP lovin... and then a parent who works REALLY long hours while the Mom is deployed (so he's flyin solo) and you are OK with them being with YOU to visit and hang out after the kid has been in day care for long hours.. instead of the kid being home??????????

[frgsonmysox]

Sigh...enjoy that now. One day it will all be over. ::

I know it But then I'll get them lifted and be good for a few more years!

[frgsonmysox]

Okay fair enough. You are in it not me. I wouldn't allow any of what you are describing but we run completely different gigs.

I see you answered the breast feeding part but I don't see your answer to why you would allow someone who works REALLY long hours away from his kid to use his precious awake time with his kid hanging out at your house?

How does that work with your AP dealio? You said you draw parents into your business with AP and they really like it. Where's the "parent" part of attachment parenting in hanging out for hours a week with your day care provider and kid as opposed to doing a quick pick up and get to gettin the attachment on with your kid?

What you describe is very confusing to me. It just doesn't mesh with your other posts. The babywearing... extended breast feeding... AP lovin... and then a parent who works REALLY long hours while the Mom is deployed (so he's flyin solo) and you are OK with them being with YOU to visit and hang out after the kid has been in day care for long hours.. instead of the kid being home??????????

As a military spouse I can't tell you how EXHAUSTING it is to fly solo. We are still expected to do so much and every few months our lives get up rooted. He drops her off here around 3:30 am. She goes back to sleep until 7-8:30 and then he picks her up between 12-2. So he has the whole afternoon and evening to spend with her.

In the military your friends become your family. My kids call my friends Aunt and Uncle. He and my husband, myself, his best friend (who's daughter is starting this summer when she is born) and his wife all get along really well. We have become FRIENDS. If he leaves 30-60 minutes after he picks her up its because he's venting about the awful hours he works, we are talking about deployments, military stuff, ect.

On his days OFF he STILL has to go into work, and on those days he takes his daughter. He could bring her here, but he takes her instead. He is very hands on with her, and when he comes to pick her up she is in his arms the entire time. AP is a principle. It doesn't mean you can't have friends, alone time, or time with other adults.

He's AP with his daughter and wanted a provider who would do the same.

Do you think all us AP moms do is spend time with our children all day?Until my baby is 16 months or so I don't leave them for any big length of time, but I STILL need my alone time, or time with other adults to just talk.

[Meeko]

As a military spouse I can't tell you how EXHAUSTING it is to fly solo. We are still expected to do so much and every few months our lives get up rooted. He drops her off here around 3:30 am. She goes back to sleep until 7-8:30 and then he picks her up between 12-2. So he has the whole afternoon and evening to spend with her.

In the military your friends become your family. My kids call my friends Aunt and Uncle. He and my husband, myself, his best friend (who's daughter is starting this summer when she is born) and his wife all get along really well. We have become FRIENDS. If he leaves 30-60 minutes after he picks her up its because he's venting about the awful hours he works, we are talking about deployments, military stuff, ect.

On his days OFF he STILL has to go into work, and on those days he takes his daughter. He could bring her here, but he takes her instead. He is very hands on with her, and when he comes to pick her up she is in his arms the entire time. AP is a principle. It doesn't mean you can't have friends, alone time, or time with other adults.

He's AP with his daughter and wanted a provider who would do the same.

Do you think all us AP moms do is spend time with our children all day?Until my baby is 16 months or so I don't leave them for any big length of time, but I STILL need my alone time, or time with other adults to just talk.

I so get the military thing! Extended family. We did 20 years in the Air Force. Do you live on base? When my husband was deployed (Desert Storm era) I didn't even want to LEAVE the base because of the feeling of home and family it gave me while he was gone, considering MY extended family are in the UK.

Thanks to your husband for his service by the way

[frgsonmysox]

We lived in base housing for 7 years, and then we finally bought a home. We live, literally, 1 street over from base housing. Military family is such an important thing, especially during times of deployment. My dad was gone for 9 months in desert storm (EOD AF), and left with only a few hours notice. Then he went back after for 7 months to "clean up". The kids I grew up with, my moms friends kids, were my cousins, and my best friends to help me through the time as a child.

Thank your husband for me too

[youretooloud]

I know it But then I'll get them lifted and be good for a few more years!

YES! Don't let anybody talk you out of that either!

[KDC]

I have an open concept house, you can see my family room from the entrance, it's divided by a baby gate. IF the parents TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, which seems to be a problem (girls in their fancy winter boots, or ignorant DCD's that don't remove their footwear drive me insane!) and i do speak up! They are more than welcome to see what we're all up to. If we're in the lg. playroom, they'll get a text and let themselves in and either yell down or come visit. I have no issues with them seeing where they play or interact, as long as it doesn't interrupt their schedules. I often want to spy on my kids interacting at school, I think it's only natural for My kids have been with me a long time, all the kids know the other parents (go to every b-day party in 5 years for each of the kids -- many socialize now without the kids, !)

- I do feel they need to respect some boundaries though, as this is still my home. Don't go through my refrigerator
- Don't pick up or 'care' for another child
- If your child is here, and you're here... my rules come first. If I said you're not allowed to open the front door without an adult, that means you cannot let your child answer or open the door. period.
- don't tell me how to do my job (they wouldn't, just if they did, I wouldn't like it ::

I also send video's quite regularly with kids interacting with other kids and activities. It's nice to be a fly on the wall sometimes