Accused Of 'Restraining' Child

[Unregistered]

I sent a child home with a fever which I discovered while changing her diaper after naptime.
This has been an ongoing problem with this particiular child. I called the parents, and one came to pick her up about 1/2 hour earlier than what their normal pickup time usually was.

She was sitting in her high chair finishing her snack at the time and I was saying goodbye to another family.

I received an email from the parent that picked up saying that they did not like me isolating and 'restraining' their child while I was waiting for her to be picked up. They are worried that this 18 month old will feel she is being 'punished' by having her sit in her high chair. I am completely baffled by this.

I could not believe they were saying this, she was in her highchair for goodness sakes!
I was in the same room with her and she was eating her afternoon snack. I did copy a link to our state's daycare rules regarding keeping sick kids away from other children and email it to the parents, explaining that it was a required procedure and that I did not like being accused of 'restraining' her. It would be a normal and comfortable place for a child to be while sick and waiting to be picked up.

They are usually nice people, but kind of awkward in how they treat their child. They treat her like a little infant, still feeding her pureed foods while at home and lugging her around in an infant seat with her legs sticking out about 8 inches on the bottom (recently switched to a normal sized car seat).

Should I do any more than this? Call my licensor?

[Play Care]

I would call your licensor ASAP. Make sure you let her know the child was eating snack - this could be the hang up as some states say no high chair unless actually eating (thankfully, mine is NOT one of them!)
Personally I don't think you did anything "wrong" some might say that an 18 month is too old for the high chair, but in this case I think it's completely appropriate. As a parent I wouldn't want a sick child sitting right next to mine at snack just to spare their parent's feelings.

[Angelsj]

I would call and explain exactly as you told us. In my experience, it is always best to head off these kinds of things, and let the licenser know ahead of time.

[CedarCreek]

Yes, call your licensor and give them a heads up just in case the parents try to file a complaint.

That is so ridiculous of them imo. Where do they want her to sit while she is eating her snack? On the floor?? I'm glad you emailed them the regulation. But at this particular moment, it seems like it was just a coincidence that she was eating her snack in the highchair but also happens to be sick and separated.

[rmc20021]

Now I'm baffled...a child is only supposed to be in a high chair during meals??? I use my high chair for the younger children (depending on their maturity levels an 18 mo could probably qualify) when we are coloring or doing arts/crafts? I haven't heard of any type of rules in my state regarding this, but...

[MsLaura529]

I think you made the right choice - especially since you didn't just put her in there and leave her be. She was eating a snack, which is definitely appropriate for what a child should be doing while sitting in a high chair.

[Unregistered]

more info...

Some clearer info. The seat she was sitting in was a booster seat with a tray. She does also sit there to color etc so she is comfortable there. I only had one other child here at the time, who was getting picked up right when sick kid's Mom showed up. She was perfectly fine until she heard her Mom's voice, then she started to cry.

I guess I don't know where else I could isolate a sick child and also have them within sight.

I hate this.

[CedarCreek]

You did fine. There wasn't anything wrong with the situation.

Mom is just projecting her guilt onto you because her child is sick and when she walked in the door she started crying.

Personally though,I would consider terming her. No way would I be accused of something like this and then try to move on from that with that family. Who knows what they will accuse you of next.

[Play Care]

Now I'm baffled...a child is only supposed to be in a high chair during meals??? I use my high chair for the younger children (depending on their maturity levels an 18 mo could probably qualify) when we are coloring or doing arts/crafts? I haven't heard of any type of rules in my state regarding this, but...

I gather that is a reg is some states. Mine limits things like high chairs to a 1/2 hour if the child isn't eating in it. So I can (and do) use it for situations like the OP, arts and crafts, etc.

[Meeko]

I would be hurt that a parent who had been with me for a while would accuse me of "restraining" their child. Where do they WANT her to eat for goodness sake?!

I would have a stern chat with mom. They either trust you or they don't. If they really feel you would mistreat their child, then they need to go elsewhere.

[crazydaycarelady]

I agree to call your licensor and explain. You did NOTHING wrong!

I also have to agree with Cedar Creek. I am not one to term willy-nilly but this is a huge red flag to me, being accused.

I once told a dcd at pick-up that his sons head hurt (he had a headache, I am not sure why I didn't use the word headache) and he immediately looked at his son and asked if someone had hurt him. They had been in care for 6 years! I talked to the dcd about it but I really just could not get over it, the fact that I had his son for 6 years, since infancy, and he STILL didn't trust me!

[mom2many]

Now I'm baffled...a child is only supposed to be in a high chair during meals??? I use my high chair for the younger children (depending on their maturity levels an 18 mo could probably qualify) when we are coloring or doing arts/crafts? I haven't heard of any type of rules in my state regarding this, but...

In CA you cannot restrain a child in a high chair, playpen, exersaucer, bouncy seat etc. It's a "personal rights" violation. A high chair can be used for eating or a specific activity and playpens only for sleeping.

I have booster seats on my kitchen chairs and use those for the younger children to eat at the table & also to do crafts, when they need the extra height to reach the table comfortably.

I see nothing wrong with what the OP did. I would be upset if a parent made these kind of accusations. An appropriate place for a child to eat is at the table and it's the only place I allow food & drink. Also, I always keep a child away from others when they become ill in my care. Any considerate individual would totally respect and appreciate the fact that you don't want others in your care to get sick too.

I would discuss this with the mother and reassure her you were doing nothing wrong and prepare to term this family if she cannot understand your position.

[KDC]

I see nothing wrong with what you did, (contact licensing to CYA). The parent seems to be taking her guilt out on you. I don't know that I'd be SO quick to term without giving the DCP a chance to 'redeem' themselves. They could have just been having a really bad day, and it was topped off with the guilt of hearing their child sick & crying. If this happens quite often, their employer may be giving her a hard time, compounding the guilty feelings. Once she settles down she may feel really bad about taking it out on you?

I guess I'm a glass half full kind of gal, she could be a total 'B' and need to be termed.

[Unregistered]

update

I did end up calling my Licensor and she was so supportive. She basically said that highchairs and boosters are meant for eating and 'seated' activities (coloring,crafts) but that if I needed to keep the child away from other children and that the ill child was comfortable there, it would be a acceptable alternative.

Sitting in a high chair could be considered as 'isolating or separating' from the group but certainly not 'restraining' as the child was not uncomfortable or trying to get out.

She did say that it might not be the best parent/child relationship and I should consider terming if they continue to make accusations indicating that they don't trust me.

Thinking back to when this family started, there were red flags all over the place about their expectations. I will most likely schedule a meeting with them early next week, get everything out on the table and see what happens. I adore the little girl, but don't deserve to be accused of something so ridiculous.

THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR INPUT AND SUPPORT!!!!

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I am glad your phone call went well. And gee, I use the highchair to plop a 2 yr olds in when I can not be directly supervising (when I need to prepare snack etc) they sit and talk to me. Not isolated or restrained per se but SAFE! These 2 are ornery.
Isolating sick kids... school age I can place in on my couch but younger I keep an extra pack and play and set it up in the breakfast nook where I can see them but they are away from the other children. If they are sick, a pnp is the perfect place to rest