Have ANY Of You Had Success With...

[just_peachy]

Have any of you had success with watching your friends' kids? I started doing daycare 2 years ago when my friend had her baby. Through word of mouth, I now watch 7 kids total, (although only 3 total a day, 4 days a week) and they are all my friends' kids. Most come just 1 or 2 days for "socialization," grandparents watch them the rest of the time. 6 sets of parents.

I never had a huge issue with it except minor annoyances. Since I joined this forum, I'm growing a little bitter about those minor annoyances, because I'm realizing that they are getting an AWESOME DEAL and breaking tons of etiquette codes.

I am starting the licensing process, (legally unlicensed now) and I am not sure how the change-over from lenient-friend-watching-my-kid to licensed-daycare-operator is going to go. What did I get myself into...

[Blackcat31]

I've watched friends' kids and family members kid's too but I have zero issues with maintaining a professional relationship with them.

I am kind of bossy by nature.... so for me, being in charge comes easily and ALL my friends and family know this LONG before they ever asked for care.

If you have a tough time enforcing your rules and policies, I would advise you NOT to get into it because family/friends WILL expect special and in my business ALL clients are treated equally. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[Springdaze]

you have to really be forward. I am not good at it with strangers, let alone friends. I think I have a sign outside that says "I charge, but you dont have to pay!" because I have had alot of problems with that.

[nanglgrl]

you have to really be forward. I am not good at it with strangers, let alone friends. I think I have a sign outside that says "I charge, but you dont have to pay!" because I have had alot of problems with that.

Goodness, I'm so tired I was thinking "why doesn't she know what signs she has outside? Does she have a lot if them or something?"and then after some deep thought on the issue my exit thought was "why would she put a sign like that outside her house?" Then I realized you wouldn't and that I need a nap. ::

[MyAngels]

I've never had a problem with friends' kids (in my case it's usually friends' grandkids ), but I always start out the relationship on a very professional level so they know what I expect. It would be tough to backtrack if you've started out on a less-than-perfect footing. It never hurts to try, though .

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I would probably blame it on your licensing. Use this time to decide how you want your business to run. As far as money if you want county kids You can only charge the county what you charge your private pay kids so you need raise your rates to the rate you want from the state. My private pays do pay more than the state reimbursement rate. You can also tell them you need full time kids for your primary spots. Oh and be sure you word it positively, so that I can be a better provider I am going through state licensing. I am so excited but, there are some changes that need to be made. I will give you a parent handbook and you can go over these changes. I am hoping you will be comfortable with all of this. As a friend, I hope you understand my need for my job to be run as a business.

[Mom&Provider]

It is going to be tough to make the switch into a different mode, but if you have a backbone (I'm not sure I would if I had given them deals and that was normal!), you should be able to move into the changes you want...i.e. taking away the "deal" you have been giving them.

I agree with MrsSteinel'sHouse and blame it on your lic. if you don't think you have the backbone to take on the fire yourself!

[bunnyslippers]

At this point, every family I have here is a friend. I live in a small town, and, unfortunately, the boundaries have been crossed. We see each other socially, and here in the daycare. There are just too many sporting events, birthday parties, fundraisers where our paths cross. Sooo, they are now all "friends."

I have some trouble with it, especially in the past few months. Lots of late pick-ups, pretending to "forget" policies (thing like bringing in food, not dressing kids, etc). Today, I am having a big issue with two of my families that I am not sure I am even going to address. They both shorted me for a days pay last week (snow day, but after 5 payment is expected and we had the 6th one last week). I am closing at the end of the school year, but know I will still have contact with both of these families frequently. They are both sort of passive aggressive. I KNOW I should address it, but both my husband and I have decided just to let it go. I KNOW~~~~~ BAD CALL. I just don't have the fight left in me, and know I only have a few months left. They are the type that will get snippy and demanding when I push for payment, and I have just given up. I havve no choice but to continue to see these women, and I want to end on a good note to preserve future interactions (one of them will probably be my son's first grade teacher next year).

Until recently, it has been a good arrangement with the families I have. Lots of give and take, and we have made some good connections in the town. Recently, it blows - lots of take, not so much give. 13 more weeks to go!!!!!

If you are going to do it, then do it now and stick with it. Once the lines get blurry, it is hard to clear them out again.

[AmyLeigh]

I've watched friends' kids and family members kid's too but I have zero issues with maintaining a professional relationship with them.

I am kind of bossy by nature.... so for me, being in charge comes easily and ALL my friends and family know this LONG before they ever asked for care.

If you have a tough time enforcing your rules and policies, I would advise you NOT to get into it because family/friends WILL expect special and in my business ALL clients are treated equally. NO EXCEPTIONS.

This, exactly.

[MarinaVanessa]

I've never watched my own friends kids but I have watched my family members friends kids and that worked out okay. I just fear it being one of my own friends and them try to not follow one of my policies or pay late and expect me to just be ok with it. I wouldn't have a problem enforcing my rules with them, it's the simple fact that because they are my friends that I expect more of them than my regular clients. I wouldn't want to be put in a position to lose a friend or damage a friendship because the simple act of trying to negotiate something, paying late or breaking policies would really affect me.

I care for my nephew (son of SIL) and I have had so many issues with my SIL that I have vowed and already have told other family members that I WILL NOT be taking care of other family members children. The relationship between me and my SIL was always a good relationship and we were friends since 3rd grade before I ever started dating my DH (her brother) and our relationship didn't start to fail until I started taking care of my nephew. I have had issues with her about everything from the type of shoes nephew wears, being paid on time, not calling when I don't have to pick him up from pre-school (I show up and he has already been picked up so I went for nothing), not paying me for days nephew is not here, trying to bring him when he's sick, blocking other parents in, blocking my neighbors driveways, parking in my neighbors assigned parking, parking in red zones etc. etc. etc. . I had to have a few sit down talks with her and the ONLY thing that helped was me handing her a 2 week notice. She cried (does it often) and pulled the "woe is me" card. She had nowhere else to take nephew so it was a good scare and I accepted her back ONLY if she followed my policies and I told her she needed to act like a regular client. She still talks crap (because I'm family and I should be supportive of other family and she expects extra privileges), and I still have small issues with the type of shoes nephew is sent in (nice expensive shoes with laces and I require velcro unless they can tie their shoes so I just don't tie his shoes anymore and have him barefoot which she hates) but she follows all other rules and our business relationship is ok but our personal relationship is strained at best.

So no ... I would not care for friends or any other family members children because I know that if I know you and I am close to you I expect a lot more from you than regular clients and friends/family seem to think that they get special privileges, which is not okay with me so I won't ever do it again.

[mrsnj]

That saying 'Friends and business don't mix' is true.

I have made friends in this business and that works. They come in as a client and end up being a friend and the rules are in place so no issues.

When I have friends come in as a client....wow. I had one friend who had jealousy issues cause I was home with her son and she had to go to work. She was so bad it ended our friendship. She later said sorry but we never really talked again. And another friend who thought she could come in and tell me what to do, who to interview, how many kids I should take, etc etc etc. When I said this was MY business and refused to comply, she pulled her child and her friendship. Impression was she was my friend and paying me so she should have a say. NOT sure where she got that idea from! And another was a friends daughter (her grandchildren). That one assumed that because I was friends with her mother I would be flexible. Flexible to her meant to bring her kids whenever for however long or not show at all....or pay at all it would seem too. That one finally pushed me up against a wall and after I tore into her and told her she was lucky to be here that long as anyone else would have been given notice and YES it WAS because she was my friend daughter, that it ended badly and I regretted letting her push my buttons. Never got mad like that before and shouldn't of then.

Nope. I don't take friends children anymore.

[HomeMADE]

I currently care for a friend of my husbands child and I wish I had not. They never follow the rules and always have a great reason behind it. They are having maritial issues and so their lack of communication between the two of them filters down to my DC.

The biggest issue is that I would watch him for free and let his older brother hang out with my son from time to time before they signed up. So now when she has to pick up late or her older son needs a ride from school and ends up eating dinner with us I feel like I can not say anything. Because it was something I would do prior to caring for her younger son in my DC.

I did tell her that this week is the last week I can do late care. It was too much for the family and our routine, not to mention I was doing it for no additional charge.

So because of all of the stuff above I tell anyone who is MY friend that I do not care for my friends children. I will watch them for free if I am available just like I would prior to me doing childcare. But it is not worth it for me. There are plenty of other people I can fill my opening with. I refer them to other providers in the area.

Good Luck!

[Kim]

I won't ever mix business and friendship again. Learned the lesson the hard way. I have however become friends with many of my parents over the years and for some reason that works- maybe it's because we started out on a business basis first.