OT- Anyone Have NO Dog/Pets?

[mamac]

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate it and thanks for everyone not trashing me.

Here's the honest truth though... I'm pretty sure we don't love him anymore... But we once did, VERY MUCH. So it's like, no, I don't love him anymore, I know I don't want him, I do now think he's just a dog, he's not a human, he's not a child, he's not as important as my DS and family and not even as important as the daycare because that is what supports my family. But I also don't think he's trash, disposable, or doesn't have value. I still want him to have a good life and not be hurt.

But he doesn't really think all that about us, or he wouldn't have a p*ss fest all over the house/my business! (Yes, I know he's not capable of thinking of that).

I think that if you are beyond the point of wanting him anymore then it's best to try to find him another home. I think that most pet owners ultimately want the best for their pets, even if it means having to give them up. It's obvious you still care for your dog, even if you say you don't love him. Otherwise you would have gotten rid of him without a second thought. I agree with pp that training may work, but if your heart isn't in it anymore then that's probably not an option.

If your main reason for wanting to keep the dog is because your son loves him even though you don't I would say find the dog another home. I know this is an animal but it's almost like staying married for the sake of the children when all the love in a marriage is gone. Sooner or later your son will sense your frustration and anger towards the dog. My ex DC hated her dog and all the dcks (including mine) would scream at the dog to "get out" or "go away". Her attitude definitely rubbed off on all the kids. I had to teach them that wasn't the way to treat animals.

I don't take giving up a pet lightly either, but I support those that need to in order to provide a better life for their pet. It will be a tough decision, but I'm sure you will make the right one for your family. And no, you are not "evil" if you choose to let him go..... ((hugs))

[Meeko]

I would try training before getting rid of him. But that's just me. Our dogs are family members to the end. Maybe training could turn him back into a cutie again?

[crazydaycarelady]

Can't you get a garbage can with a lid so he can't get the diapers? He's probably throwing up because he has eaten the gel from the diapers.

[butterfly]

Well, I'm a little late to joining this party, but I wanted to comment on your original post.

We are a pet free home. My husband is allergic so it's not an option for us, but we don't have any fish or anything else either. We have 2 sons and have had nearly 20 foster children. Our kids are not deprived from not having pets. We have family that has pets and they get plenty of exposure to them through others.

I was raised in a "zoo". We had all kinds of pets - exotic and traditional. I don't think I'm at any more of an advantage having all those animals in my life. Yes, I had a strong attachment to many of them and they became part of my family..

I'm just saying you aren't a horrible parent if you don't have pets and maybe a new home might be better for both your family and this dog.

[ABCDaycareMN]

How old are your dogs? How long have you had them?

[kitkat]

No pets and LOVE it!

We have been pet free for 6 yrs and I wouldn't have it any other way. We had a cat, but we had to put him down about 6 years ago. We thought he was having behavioral issues and were trying to decide on finding him a new home, but discovered it was medical. I completely understand what you are going thru and how stressful it is!

It has been a huge relief to not have any pets. Life is much easier. We found out in Dec. that dd is allergic to dogs and cats, so now we can't have a furry pet if we wanted, which is fine with us. My kids aren't missing out by not having a pet and get exposed to pets thru other people.

Doing what is best for your family and the dog is the right decision. Good luck!

[safechner]

I am doing the same thing that we are trying to get my dog re homing with no small kids and small animals for a while. She is pain in the butt! I kicked her out of my house since November after she attacked my small dog. She has been staying in the backyard. After a while, she knew she is not welcome in the house but we still feed her and give her water. She have a dog house to keep her warm. We are hoping she will be gone before baby is born. I also have another dog but she is a wonderful sweet and good dog that we have her since she was 6 weeks old. Now she is 8 years old that we are keeping her. I have to think what is the best for my family. My husband and I decided we are not getting any dogs in the future...

[rmc20021]

This is the same consideration I've been having with my little dog. I rescued him a little over a year ago from a shelter and I'm so in love with him, but he's about 8 yo and being a small dog, he gets nervous around kids. I keep him in my room all day...the door stays open and he wilingly stays in there on his own.

I hate keeping him isolated like that and I've seriously been considering letting him go as well. But with him being older, I'm so afraid of what kind of home he would get...if any. He's in perfect health and travels very well.

He's never shown any attempts to bite or otherwise be unsocialable, but I just wouldn't want to take a chance of him being out with dck's around. I used to leave him out when I first started back doing daycare and I had a 1 yo who would chase him around hitting him, hitting him with toys and throwing things at him. That was when I decided it would be best for everyone if I kept him away from the kids.

I hate the thought of losing my little guy...he's only about 10 lbs, but it just doesn't seem fair to him to have to be hidden away like that. My assistant that comes when I have to go for appointments didn't even know I had a dog for a long time because he's so good about staying in the room, that she had never seen him.

[Play Care]

But is it wrong or "evil" of me to get rid of a dog I already have??? I used to be SOOOOOOOOOOO self righteous and judgmental of people and the dog owners they were... Now that I'm a mom... It's a dog and it's a drain on me that I'm sick of...

I would not make it known to people you know IRL if you do rehome the dog BUT only because you already know how they will react::

I am a "pets are pets, not people" kind of person. I believe the safety and comfort of the PEOPLE who live in (and pay for) the home trump the idea of a "forever" home for a pet. We have a goldfish. It's the only pet we will have. I'm allergic to cats, so that's out. I don't think my kids are missing out. I know who would be the one taking the dog for walks, clearing crap from the yard, feeding it, taking it to the vet - and it's not my kids (or my DH).

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[MarinaVanessa]

We don't have any pets whatsoever at the moment, not even a fish. I just don't have the time to take care of an animal and I know that the reposnsibility of taking care of a critter will fall all on me. My 2yo is too young, my 8yo still doesn't understand that reqponsibilty for an animal is 7 days a week and my DH is way too busy to take the responsibility of caring for a pet so we just don't have any.

My mom did buy the kids an aquarium and some goldfish (the inexpensive kind) as a trial for my DD but she would forget to feed them in the mornings or evenings sometimes and either I or my mom would have to do it and my mom had to clean the tank. Once I freaked out because my DS dumped half the container of fish food in the tank and then spilled the rest on the floor and started eating it "Mmmm yummy mama" ... ugh, barf. And when my 2yo DS fed the goldfish Goldfish Crackers and they all died we just decided not to buy any more . We'll try again in a year.

[MyAngels]

It doesn't sound like your dog is very happy, either, and if finding him a new home will help everyone be happier then that is what I'd do. You are not awful for doing it - quite the opposite IMO.

Do make sure that you do as the PP said and make sure you find him a good and stable home that's going to give him what he needs if you go that route.

[Texasjeepgirl]

5 DOGS
Rubi May is 4 lb Yorkie
She was our second Yorkie.. The first one.. Amy.. disappeared from just outside our door in fall of '07 ... Amy was 5 at the time...
My poor husband cried for days.. so we brought Rubi home when she was 10 weeks old... weighed 1 lb 10 oz at the time...
Rubi May's name is ... Rubi.. because my jeep is a Rubicon... and MAY is Amy rearranged... Amy was our JEEP dog...
and if you've ever looked at my jeep pics she's in several pics with our jeep club

https://www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com

Ironically .. Rubi May has NEVER been a jeep dog..

Maggie Mae McGregor 22 lb black Scottish Terrier
Rubi is Mark's dog.. so I joked that I needed a dog of my own..
Mark said get a Scotty.. because he is Scottish (Our last name is GREGORY... AKA McGregor Clan )
We brought her home when she was 3 months old.. she's 4 1/2 now.

William Wallace McGregor, Liberator of the Scotts... (Yes Mark named him)
5 lb Yorkie
He was given to us by a friend.. he's old..we don't know 'how old' because he was a rescue dog... and has arthritis.. but still good health otherwise... and beautiful.. although can be grumpy occasionally.

Nicholas Ruler of the Russians.. aka Nick
(Yes Mark also named him....well.. sort of... My daughter and I thought the name Nick was cute.. Mark said it was NOT COOL because we kept calling him 'Nicky'... so he tried to man his name up a little..
he's 4... and 4 lbs.. and..
annoying.. crazy.. not stable... seriously.. crazy barking little maniac...
Most beautiful Yorkie you'll ever see...

And then there's TUCKER...
Chiweenie...
less than 1 year old...
Youngest of our 5 girls was given this dog by a boyfriend last summer...
When she came for weekend visitation.. her mom insisted she bring dog here with her... then Sunday before she returned home from the weekend...her mom sent a text that said.. find a new home for the dog or I'm taking him to the shelter..
Guess where Tucker lives now?
Cute and fun.. loving... wild and energetic..
also likes to chew up shoes...several of my favorites..
and... chewed the cord off the toaster that sat on a lower kitchen shelf...so I got a new toaster.. and for awhile kept it on the counter.. finally put it on lower shelf.. and guess what... toaster number 2... no cord now..


The dogs stay in the kitchen or our private apartment... ONLY... I have a gate between the kitchen and daycare room area... they never enter the daycare area for ANY reason... also.. daycare children NEVER enter my kitchen.. for ANY REASON.. the gate is wooden Evenflo gate.. hardware mounted .. and is a permenant part of our home set up...The dogs go in and out a different door.. and have a seperate outside area, gated to prevent entry by children...
I also have a section in my PARENT HANDBOOK that addresses my small dogs.. with a request that parents refrain from picking my dogs up (over the gate).. because they are small and fragile...

All 5 dogs sleep in our bed..
My husband works second shift..
I go to bed between 9 and 10 p.m. each night.. all dogs with me..
When my husband arrives home at 2 a.m.. they hear him punch in the digital code to enter our room... THAT BED EXPLODES.. 5 dogs... FLIP OUT!!! My husband could NEVER sneak in.. ... no one can...
He sends the dogs out to potty.. undresses.. and everyone comes back to bed... I get up at 5 a.m...
3 dogs go to the kitchen with me..
Maggie Mae, Rubi May and Tucker
Nick and William stay in bed with my husband till he gets up.

Other pets we have:
CROOKSHANKS.. female cat ... 12 years old.. have had her since birth.
she lives outside and always nearby..

Molly small tabby kitten that was rescued by a friend..

Herald large bobtail cat 2 years old.. rescued from a vehicle in the parking lot next door by my daughter..

Herald and Molly mostly live outside.. but occasionally my daughter takes them in her bedroom.. and sets up a litter box for them...
not accessible by daycare children.

Peter Rabbit is a black Angora rabbit.. he lives in a large 2 part home... his house is on the outside of the daycare playground privacy fence.. has a little doorway that he can hop through to the large play area compound that I built for him on the inside of the daycare playround.. so that the children and I can see him and feed him... he lives a happy rabbit life.... the kids and I see him almost every day.. weather permitting... we feed him carrots... and he will sit in their laps like a cat.

Jorge and Furry Murray
guinea pigs
live in the daycare room in a large 3 level, 6 room condominium that I built from a large wooden entertainment center I bought at a junk/resale shop... the front is open faced.. each room has a 1/2 plexi glass front so that we can see them in each room... it has stairs and doorways leading from each room...
and this weekend my husband and I are building a tunnel to come out of the side... and run across a 5-6 foot expanse to land in a play area in the corner of our daycare room..several feet off the floor to keep the kids from reaching in... more running space and the kids and I can enjoy them more...

And... 2 hamsters...
they are girls.. but.. all hamsters here are called.. LARRY..
Larry.. and .. THE OTHER LARRY... when 1 Larry dies.. you go to the pet store and spend 12 bucks.. magic..
new LARRY

Do I have time for all these creatures?
Well I don't know.. I guess I do..
The Yorkie's are NOT house trained..
No matter what you read.. no matter who you talk to..
you will NEVER.... ever... EVER.. .house train a Yorkie..
If someone tells you it CAN BE DONE.. tell them NO..
You are dreaming..
so...
It's a good thing I have ceramic tile floors... and painted concrete floors.. AND... it is a really good thing that I am an OCD CLEAN FREAK.. I don't own a mop... I have about 50 wash cloths that I mop the floor on my hands and knees... EVERY DAY...several times per day...
My husband says the only reason I have the dogs is to help me keep the floor clean.. they tinkle on the floor.. I mop = JOB SECURITY

I clean the guinea pig condo out EVERY SINGLE DAY... I don't use commercial bedding.. I use FLEECE blankets..aka infant recieving blankets..
1 per room..
Each morning after breakfast...
I take a wastebasket...and a laundry basket over to the guinea pig house..
Room by room.. I remove the toys and dishes ... fold the blanket up... shake it out into the wastebasket and put it in the laundry basket..
I fold another blanket.. spread it out... put all their items back in place...
Next room...
then I wash all the blankets for the next day...
The kids and I feed them cherry tomatoes.. and talk to them every day...
When any child has seperation issues at drop off..
All I have to do is ask..
do you want to go talk to Jorge? Furry Murray?
Larry?
The tears stop... and.. we get a container of tomatoes from the fridge...
happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

My critters nearly work me to death..
But.. I can't imagine my life..
My home..
My daycare
without them...

[Willow]

But is it wrong or "evil" of me to get rid of a dog I already have??? I used to be SOOOOOOOOOOO self righteous and judgmental of people and the dog owners they were... Now that I'm a mom... It's a dog and it's a drain on me that I'm sick of...

I don't think it's evil, but I do think it sends children the wrong message that pets are disposable. Not that you're a horrible person for contemplating it, but if that's also how you used to feel maybe you need to take a step back and think about the big picture instead of just the frustration you're feeling day to day.

If you're struggling with his behaviors crate him, get a secured trash bin, clean up his old spots with an enzymatic cleaner and get in touch with a trainer or behaviorist. Everything you talk about in regards to the behaviors that are driving you to make such a tough decision can all be easily remedied by making just little changes in what you're doing.

Like Meeko I consider any pets we take in to be family until the end, and believe in respecting the commitment I made to them when I first took them in (we currently have 4 dogs, 1 foster (biiig) pup, 2 cats, a rabbit (my 8 year old sons), a chinchilla (my 10 year old daughters) and my horse).

[EchoMom]

Thanks so much for everyone's responses! This has been such a positive, supportive thread, and I'm so grateful and impressed! I honestly still don't know what I'll do, but some really good ideas were suggested here that I hadn't thought of.

[EchoMom]

Update: My husband and I have been crying and laboring over the decision... Today we gave up our dog. I feel so sad/guilty/failure, but I'm also going to be so relieved when the emotions subside in a few days....

Thanks to everyone here for your support.