My DCG Who Left...

[blandino]

I anyone remembers my 3yo DCG who left in January (DCM wasn't telling DCG that she was switching daycares). They switched for personal/logistical/financial reasons, DCM had just had twins, and was driving 30 min out of her way for daycare in the am & pm. They are now in an unlicensed (illegal here) home daycare in their neighborhood. They left on great terms.

Anyway, I watched them at their house for a little last night (DCM has trouble finding someone who she can trust with a 3 yo and 5 mo old twins). And I was asking for information about her new daycare:
I know it's not "right" to fish for information, but I was honestly curious - this DCG and I were attached at the hip - and she is BEYOND bright, and I was extremely invested in her learning while in my care.


Me: So tell me about your new friends , what are their names ?
DCG: name, name, and name
Me: what are your teachers names ?
DCG: Miss _____ and Miss _________
Me: What do you do there ?
DCG: We play all day
Me: (thinking, my kids would say that too) Yes, but do you have circle time or work on your letters ?
DCG: No
Me: (thinking well, maybe they aren't structured - not everyone does circle time - nothing wrong with that) Do you have story time ? Does Miss ____ or Miss ______ read you any stories ?
DCG: No, they don't read us anything.
Me: (still trying to see if this is just play based learning) Do you ever do music , do you sing any songs ?
DCG: Well I sing songs , but no one sings with me.
Me: What activities do you do ?
DCG: We just play with the toy box, any toys we want.

I had to hide my tears when she said the part about singing alone. I understand and have worked in play based daycares, but this just sounds like non-engaging free play. It just made me very sad for her, because she thrived on structure and schedule and was so incredibly into learning. She will start school in August - so that will be good for her.

[EchoMom]

Obviously you know this DCG and can better guage if her response is accurate. But just from an outside opinion I wouldn't necessarily think to much of it.

I have 2.5 year olds that when I ask will say yes in response to if they have an elephant at home... And my day is extremely loose and lots of free play, but we also do crafts, activities, mini lessons, etc. and I doubt any of my almost 3 year olds would be able to articulate or remember it.

She's probably only thinking about the most recent day, not really able to give a picture of the overall daycare impression.

I think the more important thing would be to ask her if she LIKES it there. And then maybe she could tell you some of the things she likes/eats/does/etc.

But if it's an ilegal daycare in an area where you're supposed to get licensed and are able to then that doesn't sound promising.

[blandino]

She will be 4 in March and is extremely articulate - and remembers everything, so I feel like her response was pretty accurate. She is very verbal also, and a pretty particular. I truly trust her ability to answer these questions - especially since she didn't just say "no" across the board - and was detailed in her answers.

I completely understand it could be a play based program (and that's why I got more general with my questions), but to me for her not to have been read a story or not having done any art seems to indicate that it is more of a free for all, than a purposeful engaging free-play program, KWIM ? Also her teachers don't play with them while they are playing... (so she said in her own words).

I actually think that she would have answered yes to the "do you like it there question", without thinking... But I didn't want to ask her straight dirwarssly about liking it there.

[cheerfuldom]

oh i wouldnt be too upset. even if the day is fairly unstructured, the important thing is that she is safe and happy and that parents are happy with the care. there are plenty of ways to achieve that. the kids may be "on their own" for a good part of the day but i dont necessarily see anything wrong with that. circle time and structured art time and such are all fairly new ideas in the grand scheme of raising and caring for children. i am sure she will be fine without it although i understand you feeling bad that she is maybe missing out on some opportunities. just because they dont have "art time" does not mean that she never gets to color or play playdoh or make a little craft to take home.

anyway, my biggest grief is the illegal part of the daycare. the actually care given doesnt sound awful though, just not your style.

[blandino]

oh i wouldnt be too upset. even if the day is fairly unstructured, the important thing is that she is safe and happy and that parents are happy with the care. there are plenty of ways to achieve that. the kids may be "on their own" for a good part of the day but i dont necessarily see anything wrong with that. circle time and structured art time and such are all fairly new ideas in the grand scheme of raising and caring for children. i am sure she will be fine without it although i understand you feeling bad that she is maybe missing out on some opportunities. just because they dont have "art time" does not mean that she never gets to color or play playdoh or make a little craft to take home.

anyway, my biggest grief is the illegal part of the daycare. the actually care given doesnt sound awful though, just not your style.

I think I may have worded my post incorrectly. I am sure she is happy - and that is obviously most important overall. However, for a child who is highly schedule oriented - and thrives on structure this worried me. Also the visual of a child singing alone - was what made me sad.

But I didn't ask her If they had "art time" or "music time". I asked if they ever got to color/paint or sing songs and she said "no". As in she has not produced art work since being there.. I asked. That is what worries me - being okay based is a wonderful thing - and am not arguing that. But not having done art in 2 moths is what I was sad about.

[blandino]

And I never meant to imply that the care was awful. Her mother is a caring and thoughtful parent, and I would trust her choice in care when it came to safety and well- being. However, this woman is doing them a favor financially and that is why they are there, as well as it being closer to their home. I have no doubt that the child is in a safe and loving environment. Clearly, those take top priority over any activities or programs. I am sorry that my post was taken to imply that the quality of care was poor. I just meant it sounds like a very unstructured program - and I definitely base some of my judgements on the fact that they do not have what it takes to get licensed. Minimum standards in Oklahoma aren't very high to achieve.