How Do You Reward Positive Behavior?

[ChesneyM]

I have a group of five, ages 14, 16, and 18 months and two 3 year olds. We're working on manners, sharing, please, thank you, etc, as well as picking up after ourselves, and sometimes they help me, or one another. I'd really like to implement some kind of sticker or reward system. What are your thoughts? How do you reward positive behavior?

We've been doing high fives and hugs, but those are starting to lose their excitement.

[kathiemarie]

To be honest I wouldn't do have a reward for something they should be doing. I would just keep up with the high fives, thank yous and hugs. Maybe if it is losing its apeal you are doing it to much. I make a big deal when someone is learning a new skill then when it become 2nd nature I might say something every 3rd or 4th time or when some one "steps up" and helps without being asked.

[itlw8]

I say things like You are so helpful and I did not even have to ask you to pick up those blocks. Sometimes when everyone has done great I give them a fancy pencil and say Everyone did such a great job picking up. Here is a big helper awaard for everyone.

I also use a quiet thumbs up. I remind the older kids they are teaching the younger one. So when they remember ad they younger one then also uses the good manners I wink and give them both a thumbs up.

[nannyde]

A wink and a nod. Small gestures for ACKNOWLEDGING them doing what they are supposed to do. BIG gestures for them going above and beyond what they are supposed to do. Over praising artificially escalates them. They will show you when you are going too far by acting up after the over praise.

[BumbleBee]

I once did stickers as a reward for positive behavior. It backfired. They'd behave just long enough to get the sticker then act up after they got it.

Now I just say "thank you for picking up your toys" if they picked up without a reminder. Or if we're working on doing things the first time I ask, when they do it the first time I'll thank them/high five/etc.

If it's something they are suppposed to be doing I keep it low key and sometimes acknowledge it, sometimes don't.

If it's above & beyond then I lay on the praise.

[Chuckles]

It is always good to reinforce positive behavior. You could continue to do what you're doing and also add a few things. For the age group specified, I recommend stamps instead of stickers. Toddlers can eat stickers or you will find them on the floor, walls, etc at some later point in time. Children like to be recognized for good behavior so you could try that. For example, " I really like the way Sarah is cleaning up the blocks." This may inspire the children to be like Sarah so they can get recognized. I don't know if you ever allow the children "helper duties" but that is a huge privilege to many children. Line leader, circle time helper, person to push in chairs, etc. One day care I worked for used to send home "cuddle grams" which were nice notes to parents.

[Starburst]

To be honest I wouldn't do have a reward for something they should be doing. I would just keep up with the high fives, thank yous and hugs. Maybe if it is losing its apeal you are doing it to much. I make a big deal when someone is learning a new skill then when it become 2nd nature I might say something every 3rd or 4th time or when some one "steps up" and helps without being asked.

I say things like You are so helpful and I did not even have to ask you to pick up those blocks. Sometimes when everyone has done great I give them a fancy pencil and say Everyone did such a great job picking up. Here is a big helper awaard for everyone.
I also use a quiet thumbs up. I remind the older kids they are teaching the younger one. So when they remember ad they younger one then also uses the good manners I wink and give them both a thumbs up.

A wink and a nod. Small gestures for ACKNOWLEDGING them doing what they are supposed to do. BIG gestures for them going above and beyond what they are supposed to do. Over praising artificially escalates them. They will show you when you are going too far by acting up after the over praise.

I once did stickers as a reward for positive behavior. It backfired. They'd behave just long enough to get the sticker then act up after they got it.
Now I just say "thank you for picking up your toys" if they picked up without a reminder. Or if we're working on doing things the first time I ask, when they do it the first time I'll thank them/high five/etc.
If it's something they are suppposed to be doing I keep it low key and sometimes acknowledge it, sometimes don't.
If it's above & beyond then I lay on the praise.

One of my CD teacher (40+ years in ECE field) said she doesn't believe in giving children rewards like toys, stickers, and especially food (food should never be given as a reward) for doing things they need to learn how to do without motivation or expectation of getting something. It's one thing if you are setting a long term goal for them to see what they have accomplished (like on a potty training chart for 2.5 years and up) and want them to have a visual but not as a reward itself. Just acknowledgment and a verbal praise-"thank you very much", "you are so helpful", or 'you are a good helper' (maybe a high five or a hug for younger ones). And of course modeling good behavior always helps too.

Because a big draw back is giving kids too much praise or a prize everytime they do something is that they will expect a reward (or a party ) everytime they do it- like when you give them candy or a cookie for potty training and when you stop they start regressing and are more likely to have accidents. Its one possible down side of 'conditioning'. Not rewarding them with stickers, food, and toys also teaches them 'altruism'- doing something for the good of someone else without expecting anything in return.

[cheerfuldom]

I dont believe in rewarding children for doing what they are supposed to be doing. A "good job Aiden!", a high five or small gesture "Aiden gets to be the line leader to go outside!" is plenty for that age. Real life does not include a huge party, a sticker chart, a big show for completing the tasks that you are physically and mentally able to complete. The knowledge of a job well done should be reward enough.

[cheerfuldom]

One of my CD teacher (40+ years in ECE field) said she doesn't believe in giving children rewards like toys, stickers, and especially food (food should never be given as a reward) for doing things they need to learn how to do without motivation or expectation of getting something. It's one thing if you are setting a long term goal for them to see what they have accomplished (like on a potty training chart for 2.5 years and up) and want them to have a visual but not as a reward itself. Just acknowledgment and a verbal praise-"thank you very much", "you are so helpful", or 'you are a good helper' (maybe a high five or a hug for younger ones). And of course modeling good behavior always helps too.

Because a big draw back is giving kids too much praise or a prize everytime they do something is that they will expect a reward (or a party ) everytime they do it- like when you give them candy or a cookie for potty training and when you stop they start regressing and are more likely to have accidents. Its one possible down side of 'conditioning'. Not rewarding them with stickers, food, and toys also teaches them 'altruism'- doing something for the good of someone else without expecting anything in return.

A visual is very different from a reward. Visuals can be a big support towards helping kids reach goals!

[CedarCreek]

We use a color system for good behavior. If they are on green at the end of the day, they get a sticker. I always praise them for good manners but they get an extra sticker if I "catch" them doing something extra nice like giving a hug and saying sorry without being prompted, clearing the table for me, putting away nap mats, etc. When they get 10 stickers, they get to pick a prize from my treasure chest. It's full of smaller toys that I got from the party section in walmart.