Balancing Act Family Life vs. Daycare Job

[snbauser]

I have been doing this for 11 years. I think the biggest thing that most people forget is that this is a full time job and more. You need to think of it as if you were out of the home all day and if you have a significant other, they need to help out. Yes we can do more than if we weren't really home, but we still can not do it all and do our job in the best way possible without getting burned out. I try and get little things done whenever I can. I will usually throw laundry in when I get up and then throw it in the dryer at nap time (I have a thing about leaving it in the washer overnight). Then in the evenings either myself or my dh will fold the laundry or sometimes we do it together. I clean up the kitchen during free play after breakfast. I can see the kids and still get my kitchen clean. The floors are cleaned during the late afternoon when I am down to just a few kids left. The rest of the downstairs gets cleaned a little at a time during free play throughout the week. Dinner depends. Some days I throw something in the crock pot during naptime. Other times it's something quick after work. And when the weather is nice I will have dh grill once or twice a week just to ease the burden on me. When I cook on weekends I try to double whatever I am making and freeze one. Then during the week it's really thaw and heat for dinner. I still have to grocery shop on the weekends but that is usually it and leaves the rest of the weekends for my church and my kids.

[MNMum]

I did had an assistant last year for about 6 months... it did not solve my problem because Massachusetts laws defining how many hours an assistant can stay by themselves in daycare are so little (20 hours total per year... and many restrictions on how you distribute those hours trough the week/month) ... my house is not license daycare space area so even being in the same building it was considered as if assistant was alone in daycare... and the expenses of having an assistant in pay roll were to high to handle with such little advantage. Hope it works better for you...

I was just saying to my husband about having an assistant (who has been coming 2-3 mornings/week for 4 hours), that it's not like I am "gaining" an extra 4 hours on those days. It is helpful, because I'm only doing about 6 things at once, instead of 10. However, if I am going to be gone I need to have meals prepped ahead (which I would do in time if I were here), and there is always more work to do when I return. It is nice to have another adult to talk to, and vent about the kids or parents.

[lolaland]

I was just saying to my husband about having an assistant (who has been coming 2-3 mornings/week for 4 hours), that it's not like I am "gaining" an extra 4 hours on those days. It is helpful, because I'm only doing about 6 things at once, instead of 10. However, if I am going to be gone I need to have meals prepped ahead (which I would do in time if I were here), and there is always more work to do when I return. It is nice to have another adult to talk to, and vent about the kids or parents.

In my case the assistant did not solve my problem of "balancing family vs. Daycare" because my home and my daycare are 2 different apartments (in the same building) and my State have restrictions on how many hours an assistant can stay without me in the daycare space. If my home and daycare were the same space, an assistant would have been the perfect solution and I could've rest and enjoy my family when daycare is closed. Instead, after spending 11 hours in the daycare I have to keep on running (with no "fuel") cleanning my home, making dinner, help homework, give bath, run errands, do laundry, prepare meals /activities /lunch school boxes for next day, do paperwork, ,pay bills, post pictures on daycare facebook... because none of these things can be done while I'm in daycare due to being a separate apartment.

[lolaland]

I was just saying to my husband about having an assistant (who has been coming 2-3 mornings/week for 4 hours), that it's not like I am "gaining" an extra 4 hours on those days. It is helpful, because I'm only doing about 6 things at once, instead of 10. However, if I am going to be gone I need to have meals prepped ahead (which I would do in time if I were here), and there is always more work to do when I return. It is nice to have another adult to talk to, and vent about the kids or parents.

In my case the assistant did not solve my problem of "balancing family vs. Daycare" because my home and my daycare are 2 different apartments (in the same building) and my State have restrictions on how many hours an assistant can stay without me in the daycare space. If my home and daycare were the same space, an assistant would have been the perfect solution and I could've rest and enjoy my family when daycare is closed. Instead, after spending 11 hours in the daycare I have to keep on running(with no "fuel ") cleanning my home, making dinner, help homework, give bath, run errands, do laundry, prepare meals /activities /lunch school boxes for next day, do paperwork, ,pay bills, post pictures on daycare facebook because none of these things can be done while I'm in daycare due to being a separate apartment. But I'm going to try to apply Evansmom poem to my family's time from now onlovethis

[lolaland]

The "above" it's what happened when I tried to edit... great!

[WDW]

And I try to keep this poem in mind when things feel out of hand as they often can in this job:

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

I love this too! Brings tears to my eyes! I am so glad that I have realized these things while my child is still young. Not that I'm perfect but I do step back and think of these things almost daily. I still get sad and struggle about how much I'm missing, but I am learning. I have scaled my daycare hrs back to where I close at 4:45 so I can be the one to pick my kiddo up from practices, and make dinner and have an evening. No, it doesn't work for all families but I have had no trouble staying full so far.

I have also learned to take some time off, for me, and for my family. I took the day for a field trip, I took a day for a long weekend for a family getaway, and I'm not going to feel bad when I take spring break and a vacation later this year. I have learned life goes too fast, and you miss too much, and I will never be sorry.

I didn't mean to get on a soapbox, I apologize if I did. I just know today how much I will miss this later.

[NeedaVaca]

I just do it. Always have. But now more than ever. My daughter was born over three months premature and has been in the NICU ever since - for almost 70 days now. I do a 10 hour day of daycare and get everything household related done during that time so I can spend every non-working moment with my own kid and hubs.

The only thing I do that is work related, outside of actual daycare time is grocery shop, and honestly, I often do that with the daycare kids too. And I don't have a vehical. So, I think everything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

There's some tips in this thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ight=balancing

I am so sorry to hear this! I don't remember reading any posts about it and I can't imagine how hard that must be for you, I hope she's doing ok and you are hanging in there!

[My3cents]

I just do it. Always have. But now more than ever. My daughter was born over three months premature and has been in the NICU ever since - for almost 70 days now. I do a 10 hour day of daycare and get everything household related done during that time so I can spend every non-working moment with my own kid and hubs.

The only thing I do that is work related, outside of actual daycare time is grocery shop, and honestly, I often do that with the daycare kids too. And I don't have a vehical. So, I think everything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

There's some tips in this thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ight=balancing

you must live near a grocery shop? please say yes.

[LK5kids]

When I did FCC before ( for 10 yrs.) we had build an addition on our hoom for the day care, so the main part of the house stayed tidy. I keep the kitchen clean with everyday clean up after snack and lunch.

I cleaned dc bathroom each morning before kids came. Our second br I did daily spot cleaning each morning or night.

We never made the beds.....I didn't care if they were unmade. Two story house, no one ever saw them.

I started supper for my family every night about 5:00. Kids left between 4:30/5:30. Supper was always on the table by 6:00. My husband never helped out, so my kds and I cleaned up after supper. I now have a new husband!

I washed a load of laundry every morning, dried or hung them in the evening. Folded clothes each night while watching tv. I am not a night person, and was tired out after supper and mainly relaxed.

I vacuumed every morning before kids came.

I totally relaxed during nap, after kitchen was cleaned up each noon.

After kids left each night everything was neat and tidy and I just closed the door. The addition had two rooms and I just swept after lunch and spot mopped as needed.

I am a spot cleaner and a clean as I go kind of person. Things seemed to stay fairly neat and tidy. The dc rooms were always orderly each night when I shut that door.

I did my grocery shopping for the week each Friday night. The rest of the weekend was fairly laid back and relaxing.

This time doing child care my hubby and I bought a separate house for child care.
Pretty much the same routine, except now I have two houses to keep clean!

[MamaBearCanada]

When I was pregnant with my second child we had a cleaner come weekly. Once I had the baby we decided to have her come every other week to do a deep clean. It is money well spent. Keeps me sane knowing that the house will never get too out of control. This has been one of the biggest stress relievers. She is not an assistant she just comes and cleans.

I am in the process of getting rid of absolutely everything I can and finding a home for things I must keep. The less I have the quicker and easier it is to put away.

I invested in some good storage - shelving, cubbies, totes, dividers. This made finding homes for everything possible.

I follow Flylady (loosely). My home isn't perfect by any means but it's far better each month than the last. I try and find 15mins a day to do a house project. Like hang a picture or organize a cupboard.

I put in a load of laundry each day after I shower. During free play in an I put it in dryer. Nap time I fold & (try to) put away.

I make a running grocery list and then buy what meat is on sale. When I get home I make a meal plan for the week. I use the slow cooker on days I know we will be really busy otherwise I prep dinner during naptime.

I have a list of chores to do in the morning and hires for the afternoon. I use the app Home Routine. I love it.

[CedarCreek]

I just do it. Always have. But now more than ever. My daughter was born over three months premature and has been in the NICU ever since - for almost 70 days now. I do a 10 hour day of daycare and get everything household related done during that time so I can spend every non-working moment with my own kid and hubs.

The only thing I do that is work related, outside of actual daycare time is grocery shop, and honestly, I often do that with the daycare kids too. And I don't have a vehical. So, I think everything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

There's some tips in this thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ight=balancing

I'm sorry for how stressful your life must be right now. I know what you're going through though. One of my sons was born at 24 Weeks and spent almost 5 months in the Nicu. It was the most difficult thing I've ever been through. Pm me if you ever need to talk.

[Scout]

I just do it. Always have. But now more than ever. My daughter was born over three months premature and has been in the NICU ever since - for almost 70 days now. I do a 10 hour day of daycare and get everything household related done during that time so I can spend every non-working moment with my own kid and hubs.

The only thing I do that is work related, outside of actual daycare time is grocery shop, and honestly, I often do that with the daycare kids too. And I don't have a vehical. So, I think everything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

There's some tips in this thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ight=balancing

I don't remember reading anything about this as well... I hope all is well and that you are able to handle everything. It sounds like you have a good handle on it though. I hope your little bundle of joy can come home with mommy and daddy soon!:hug:

[Jewels]

you have to realize you can't do it all, plain and simple, I used to try to do it all, but it got to hard and I had no time for myself and my husband, my days are busy, there are certain things I make sure to clean everyday..
Bathrooms, they are very easy to clean seriously takes me 10 minutes to clean the 2 upstairs bathrooms everyday, I spray the toliets down and the sinks down the soap dispenser and the stools, leave them for five minutes, go in wipe them all off and clean, spray and wipe the floor as I leave, do a quick clean of the mirrors, 1x per week I scrub the inside of the toilet.
vacuum, vacuum the upstairs everyday, takes 10-15 minutes, I do it in the morning or in the evening if I have time but usually morning, the vacuum has never woken my kids up the sleep right through it.
obviously the kitchen and dishes, when I didn't have an infant I could get more done at quiet time, now quiet time is spent with him, and I will use quiet time to fold laundry.........we DONT have elaborate dinners during the week, this was a big struggle of mine, my husband and I love to go to the gym together a 3-4x per week, we need to leave the house at 6pm, I do daycare til 5:30, we try to keep it simple, last night we had albacore tuna, red peppers and oranges....quick we all ate together and we left put the kids in the childcare at the gym, and worked out together, on sundays I make a nice big meal, my son gets to pick fridays dinners, we do spaghetti generally weekly its easy and my husband can make it, he is always asking me what he can do to help, he has a tough stressful job and he knows I try so hard, but finally I realized he can do dinners, so we may have spaghetti every week but its a huge burden taken off me, my floors get swept daily but I came to realize they dont need to be mopped everyday, I can't do it, I would rather go to the gym, take my daughter to gymnastics and keep my infant happy and quiet at nap times, and while I'm holding him and feeding him I can watch netflix on my laptop and take a break, because taking a break is important, I also do a 20 minute pilates video daily during quiet time. my house is clean, kids are happy, its stressful, but come to terms with not being able to do everything. the only thing I do on the weekends for daycare is grocery shop.

[SilverSabre25]

I struggle with balance, too and have improved a lot in the past year. Seriously, the current state of my house notwithstanding, it's unrecognizable from a year ago.

It's a struggle, and you're definitely not alone.

[HomeMADE]

Wow!!! You have all said a mouth full!!! While I saw a lot of tips that I will be using. It sounds like the home I used to keep as a SAHM of of 4 with 1 at home with me is a thing of the past. Along with the larger well rounded meals that they are used to, sandwiches are ok sometimes. Oh yeah, I would love to see the inside of the gym again, I am going to make that a priority over mopping. All that said I just need to set realistic expectations and order more school uniforms for my kids (less washing, ).