DCG Just Doesn't Get It...Am At A Loss

[blandino]

I usually don't have very many behavior management problems that I can't solve, but this child has me dumbfounded.

I have a 2.5 yo DCG who has been with us since 5 months. She is a smart little thing (so this is not caused by a developmental delay), but she has no concept of action to disciplinary consequence with regards to her actions.

For example we have a little tykes high chair that is used for baby dolls. It is supposed to stay it it's spot in our play kitchen. At minimum two times a week without fail, she will take it and turn it upside down and stand on it (totally against the rules). She has been corrected/reprimanded/scolded every time she does it (I am not lax on correcting her each and every time). But when she gets in trouble, she is devastated (cries like she has NO IDEA that she would have gotten in trouble for climbing on the chair). But will do it again, sometimes even the same day, and is devastated every time she gets in trouble. She literally acts like she has no idea that she will get in trouble for this action.

And this goes for all rules we have, not just the high chair. With her it feels more like constantly redirecting her that never progresses to her redirecting herself. At her age, I would more than expect her to be able to learn that x action, gets y consequence and to avoid y consequence - we shouldn't do x action. I mean, babies under 1 can start to understand the concept. But it is just a constant redirect/discipline with no learning curve.

I would say it has something to do with a lack of consequence at home, but she is one of my 10 hour a day kiddos, so after spending 50 hours a week with me - she should be aware of what will happen while in my care.

I just get exhausted with having to constantly correct her for the same things over and over again. I have tried everything in my toolbox. HELP ME

[Angelsj]

Just for the record, being smart has NOTHING to do with having a developmental delay and may even be an indicator of one.
I have several kids with Asperger's myself and two of them are geniuses (legitimately) as well as one little girl I watch right now that is also incredibly intelligent.

That last one sounds a lot like yours. Time out is useless; she just doesn't get it. The fact that yours isn't understanding that progression is actually a criteria for developmental disorders. I would discuss this with her parents and get her tested. Meanwhile, look up how to guide these kids. Trouble is though, it often is exactly that... constant redirection. They are rather exhausting kiddos.

[cheerfuldom]

totally agree with the previous post. one of my daughters is currently being screened for delays. she is VERY smart and active but there are many social and behavioral things that she just doesnt "get" and one of the main issues is exactly what you are describing. she has impulse control as well as not being able to understand that this action = that consequence. it is CONSTANT instruction and redirecting. i get tired of hearing myself talk!

why not research a bit on appropriate expectations for her age and then discuss with the parents what you are and are not seeing. at this point, her behavior has become overwhelming for your program and you need to have a plan in place, with the parents support, to address this. i would also look up resources for free evaluations thru the state or thru the public school system.