Practical Advice on Some "Toughies" I Care For...

[SimpleMom]

Hi. I have two children that started up that are VERY active. One is 4 and the other is 3. They both feed off of each other's energy, throw sand, hit, yell, have HUGE loud tantrums numerous times daily, and niether one follows directions well at all. The one will look right at me when I say feet on the floor or line up for outside or back in line, etc. and ignore the direction.

I think they are cute kids with a lot of energy, but they are a lot of work. Any advice on how to curb this behavior and such? Some days I'm ready to pull out my hair

It's also beginning to pass on to the other kids in my care. I really don't want that. Plus, it make group time really hard and any other activities we want to do.

THank you.

[gkids09]

This may sound awful, and I promise I'm not cruel to the kids, but when mine start doing that, I don't let them do what we are doing. For example, "I don't want to line up" (or just not doing it). I say, "Okay, that's your choice. My choice is to take the others outside. You can either line up and go with us, or I will help you go outside and you can sit and watch everyone else play." Almost always, they decide to line up or do whatever we are doing. If we are doing group time and they can't behave, they go into a high chair, but only if they are old enough to understand what group time actually is...We have lots of time during the day to let out our energy, and do relay races as well as free play. If the two are feeding off each other when it is not time for energy release, separate them...Even if it means in two different rooms, as long as you can still see them. (Law here). I have an assistant, so I guess some of these things are easier for me than someone who doesn't have one..I have found that reverse psychology is sometimes the best thing to fix these problems. Good luck!

[SimpleMom]

Oh my goodness, I've tried all of that Thank you so much for the response. I just wonder if it's going to get easier and maybe they'll get the hang of the routine here soon. I don't have them today and it's been so calm. I almost forgot what that was. I was even questioning my abilities as a daycare provider!! Phew! Glad to know it's not "me". I really hate to give up on 'em. I hate to see kids 'fall through the cracks' and get bumped around from provider to provider, etc. They are very sweet at the same time just a little 'odd/adhd'-type personalities within.

They remind me of my own and my nephew when they were that age. My mom watched them both at the same time for my sister and I. Holy cow! God Bless my mom. That's hard work!!

Any other advice on how to work with these two would be greatly appreciated as well. I've just tried everything I know of and all the "tricks up my sleeve" have been used up.

Thanks!

[DCMomOf3]

I have one that is off and on like that. When the dck is like that I have a heart-to-heart with the mom and she re-doubles her effort at home, and I do here until it levels off again. Mine sometimes get that way too, and I just try to stay as consistent as I can though the stage.

Hang in there, it's really tough I know.

[tymaboy]

I used to have a pair of sister that were awful. I made up a sticker chart. I put on there some of the problems they had doing & some things that were easy for them to earn a sticker. I forget exactly how I had it set up but they had to earn so many stickers in a certian time frame to get a special treat. I did not have it set up that it was a piece of cake to earn the amount of stickers on their chart but it was very reachable goal. I found that they loved to put the stickers they earned in the square box of what they did good at for that day. I believe I had 6 things for them to do well at for a day (pick up toys, nap, no time out ect) It helped with those kids.

[kitkat]

What if you try rewarding the kids that are being good when the "toughies" are not behaving appropriately? When you are doing circle time and everyone else is sitting nicely, give them a stamp and tell the ones not sitting nicely/quietly that they can try for a stamp next time b/c they weren't behaving appropriately. Our school district is doing something called PBIS (you can look it up online as it's a national thing). It basically is rewarding positive behavior for all kids, not rewarding just the bad kids when they do something good. Not sure how well it would work for 3 and 4, but the stamp thing I mentioned above is similar in thought process.

When DS was in preschool 2 years ago, his teacher put a stamp on each hand when they entered the classroom. If they had a time out, major misbehavior, etc, a stamp got washed off. This was a HUGE deal to the kids. A stamp rarely got washed off, but when it happened, all the kids told their parents The first thing I did when I picked him up was ask if he still had his stamps. It was a great way to find out how he behaved. Preschool was just under 3 hours, so it'd be a little different for an all day thing.

[Lilbutterflie]

I also have a sticker chart, called the "Treasure Chest Chart". All of the kids have had a hard time with sharing, using their words, and using manners lately. So each child must earn 2 stickers every day of the week (they are all here 5 days a week) for one of these behaviors; and on Friday right after afternoon snack; the kids who have earned all of their stickers for the week get to pick a treasure from the treasure chest! Really, it's just a clear tote bin that has items from Dollar Tree that they love. It has worked really well for the behaviors we are trying to work on!
I imagine if you are trying to correct their negative behaviors at the same time, you could take away a sticker from the chart if they are doing a negative behavior.

[SimpleMom]

THank you, again. I used the sticker chart with one of my kiddos today and it worked awesome. The others were wondering about where their sticker chart was...I am going to do the stamp thing as well to reward the good behavior of the other kids and to encourage good behavior in the ones having a tough time of it.

I'll let you know how it goes
Thanks for everything. I was getting a little overwhelmed and such. Feeling more refreshed now.