Terming an Entire Childcare

[MizzCheryl]

The problem is that the children are trying to be the dominate ones.
PM Nanny DE.
She could have you fixed up in less Thank 1 week.
She has an amazing way of seeing things and looking at them.
She knows kids and behavior. She knows just how to get to the root of the behavior and stop it. I had the same issues as you do and now, I have the best crew I have EVER had in 15 years.
They sit and play nicely and quietly. They ASK to take turns. My 4 yr old asked my 24 month old for a turn with the most popular toy today. My 24 month old said, "allwighht, hew ya gow" and handed him the toy
I mean my kids went from hellions to angels.
nuf said

[NeedaVaca]

One other thing I've noticed based on some previous posts is that you keep trying new things to solve some of these problems. Maybe it's too confusing to the kids? I say decide how you want to proceed ie: punishments, schedules, naps, etc and stick to them. Don't keep switching things up so much, maybe that would help

[rmc20021]

Consistency is the key for sure. But I have definitely noticed a huge difference in not only the kids, but the parents from when I did daycare 20 years ago. It's all changed...and not for the good.

Kids are more of a behavioral problem, more used to getting their own ways. A lot of parents are not in touch with their kids and who they are.

But I still manage to get mine to behave pretty well because I also don't put up with crap from the kids and they all learn it pretty quickly.

Yesterday, my 4 you decided he was going to try to play some of his games. When mom gets here, he runs back into the house and starts playing with something. I had to go over, take the toy from him and tried to lead him back to mom. He started falling on the floor and not walking. Today, he tried to do the same thing. I told him if he didn't get up immediately he would go into time out before he left with mom. She stands at the door..."ok, I'm leaving now". He totally ignores her. He's an angel (for the most part other than him trying to be sneaky while playing with the other kids...like if he knows they like one particular toy the most, the moment they walk in the door, he will go grab up that toy), but the second mom gets here, he wants to start his games.

Tomorrow I am having a talk with him and when mom gets here if he starts this crap again...he WILL go into time out and mom can just wait for him.

I also agree...choose one form of discipline and stick to it tightly...don't let them get away with anything even the least bit because if they get that little window, they will keep pushing. Even if you have to have them all sitting in time out in separate areas at one time...do it. You gotta prove to these guys who is boss.

[countrymom]

what exactly are they doing
what are the hours you are open
what is your schedual like

maybe either call an assistant or take a day off and regroup.

[My3cents]

I love my parents and that is one reason I keep at this. I'm so afraid of terming and then ending up with really bad parents. At least with this group they are so willing to work with me and be on my side.

What have you done for yourself lately??? Are you taking care of you?

I find these questions tell a lot about my attitude~

Just saying-

[My3cents]

The problem is that the children are trying to be the dominate ones.
PM Nanny DE.
She could have you fixed up in less Thank 1 week.
She has an amazing way of seeing things and looking at them.
She knows kids and behavior. She knows just how to get to the root of the behavior and stop it. I had the same issues as you do and now, I have the best crew I have EVER had in 15 years.
They sit and play nicely and quietly. They ASK to take turns. My 4 yr old asked my 24 month old for a turn with the most popular toy today. My 24 month old said, "allrighht, hew ya gow" and handed him the toy
I mean my kids went from hellions to angels.
nuf said

please share what you did to turn it around.

[My3cents]

Consistency is the key for sure. But I have definitely noticed a huge difference in not only the kids, but the parents from when I did daycare 20 years ago. It's all changed...and not for the good.

Kids are more of a behavioral problem, more used to getting their own ways. A lot of parents are not in touch with their kids and who they are.

But I still manage to get mine to behave pretty well because I also don't put up with crap from the kids and they all learn it pretty quickly.

Yesterday, my 4 you decided he was going to try to play some of his games. When mom gets here, he runs back into the house and starts playing with something. I had to go over, take the toy from him and tried to lead him back to mom. He started falling on the floor and not walking. Today, he tried to do the same thing. I told him if he didn't get up immediately he would go into time out before he left with mom. She stands at the door..."ok, I'm leaving now". He totally ignores her. He's an angel (for the most part other than him trying to be sneaky while playing with the other kids...like if he knows they like one particular toy the most, the moment they walk in the door, he will go grab up that toy), but the second mom gets here, he wants to start his games.

Tomorrow I am having a talk with him and when mom gets here if he starts this crap again...he WILL go into time out and mom can just wait for him.

I also agree...choose one form of discipline and stick to it tightly...don't let them get away with anything even the least bit because if they get that little window, they will keep pushing. Even if you have to have them all sitting in time out in separate areas at one time...do it. You gotta prove to these guys who is boss.

wow I have this same kiddo!!!

[Sugar Magnolia]

Your "bright spot" seems to be school agers. Have you considered revamping your entire program and switching to a before/after care program ? Out with the preschool toys and PAC N Plays and meals and nap. Get some kick a$$ art supplies and science experiments and computers and gardening tools and models to build and magnets and all that SUPER COOL STUFF you can't do with babies and toddlers and preschoolers around. Maybe a bus?!? So you could pick up/drop off at local schools?

Just an idea. A good idea if I do say so myself. Hmmm.

[EchoMom]

Hi, sorry didn't read all the replies, but to the OP, yes, I did pretty much have an entire turnover in my group. I only retained 2 of the 8 families I cared for (not all on the same days). I cut my hours, significantly raised my price, and lost a family to maternity leave and moving homes, and cut my group down to only ages 0-3. I termed 1 family for CHRONIC tardiness and huge late fees. Another I termed for total disrespect and unsalvagable relationship. Another I termed because the child was too old and not a good fit. I did all of this in about the same month or 2.

I knew I'd lose a bunch and had counted the cost before I made my moves, I knew I was going to lose most of them and that was ok. I had to do a ton of work advertising, interviewing, etc. But now I'm totally full again with a waitlist and seriously enjoying the radical changes I made.

Not saying you should do it, just answer your question. I certainly made enemies of some families, but now I have a totally different clientelle that are so grateful and respectful.

[MizzCheryl]

please share what you did to turn it around.

Well I setup a time a called Nanny de. Wow she has the sweetest voice. I had already emailed her a list of the problems I had been having so we got right down to it. I had a feeling that several of the problems stemmed from behaviors at home and was afraid there was nothing I could do. She assured me that children are extremely intelligent and with proper guidance would come to understand what is expected of them when in my care. Just because they whine, throw fits, sass and misbehave with mom, dad or gma does not mean that they cannot behave for me. The kids were trying to be the ones in charge. There are behaviors and little things that you do not realize that give children power, the wrong kind of power. Misbehavior should be prevented at the first signs. For example, I had a child that was always playing in a squeaky, squealing voice. I found it annoying but thought, oh well, it is just kids. When I spoke of this to Nanny De she made me realize that the squeaking/squealing would easily escalate into inappropriate behavior. When I began to pay attention to that I realized that it always did. She taught me things to prevent the kids from getting out of hand in the first place.
I am not good at explaining it but she makes it seem so simple. She also looked at my schedule and told me how to change it around a little so that the kids are more rested which helps for a better mood. I realized that the kids were competing to see which of them could be in charge.
Just something simple like getting ready to go outside; I used to open the door and the kids would all charge and try to get out. Now I lead my kids and they know it. They look to me for direction and I get a ton of hugs and “I love you, Ms. C” every day. They are happy and so am I.
There is just too much to write it all down. It is amazing what you can pack into an hour consultation.

[Live and Learn]

Rather than terming EVERYONE....think.....isn't there one child who is just a bit more challenging than the rest?...the ring leader. I would term him or her and see if that makes a difference. good luck.

[Country Kids]

Your "bright spot" seems to be school agers. Have you considered revamping your entire program and switching to a before/after care program ? Out with the preschool toys and PAC N Plays and meals and nap. Get some kick a$$ art supplies and science experiments and computers and gardening tools and models to build and magnets and all that SUPER COOL STUFF you can't do with babies and toddlers and preschoolers around. Maybe a bus?!? So you could pick up/drop off at local schools?

Just an idea. A good idea if I do say so myself. Hmmm.

Oh, that would be wonderful but we have a boys and girls club that is less then $50 for the year so its pretty hard to even get the SA. I really lucked out with this group.

Even if I could get SA there is NO money in it. I would make a little more then working in the schools and that is what is stopping me right now from making that big step. Right now I can't afford to lose 75% of my income-

[Country Kids]

Rather than terming EVERYONE....think.....isn't there one child who is just a bit more challenging than the rest?...the ring leader. I would term him or her and see if that makes a difference. good luck.

No, that is the problem. All of them want to be the ring leader as they are all the youngest or onlies at home so they are pretty much used to no competition at home with kids their own age. Also, by at least 5 years difference for the ones that do have siblings.

Thanks for all the help everyone! That is what I like about this group-Ideas, getting to bounce things off each other, and in the end support!

[MizzCheryl]

I wanted to add that alot of it is about leadership. I needed to learn to be a strong leader. But, I didn't know how to be one. She showed me how to let the kids know that I am the leader.

[Country Kids]

I wanted to add that alot of it is about leadership. I needed to learn to be a strong leader. But, I didn't know how to be one. She showed me how to let the kids know that I am the leader.

Thats what puzzles me as they all talk about how they need to listen to me as "I'm the boss".

One of them told the other kids "So in so was my babysitter but ***X is my teacher and I need to listen to her". Child came up on thier own with this.

They tell each other "your not the boss" ******x (me) is the boss/teacher.