Advice needed ASAP--Autism??

[Patches]

So I have a dcb who is 3(close to 4) and I'm having some behavioral problems with him. This was my first family and at the interview they told me they wanted to leave his current center because there were so many kids and dcb had started having accidents every day (he had been potty trained for about a year, I think). So fast forward to his first day and dcd drops off and says something to the effect of, "oh by the way, did we tell you that he was diagnosed with a form of autism?" No, you sure didn't. I was desperate for families so I let that go. Dcb was fine the first 3 weeks. Played well, cleaned up when asked, talked to me and others (although his speech is delayed), ate anything and everything I put in front of him and slept at naptime no problem. Then it started getting worse little by little.

This week has been a NIGHTMARE! Ignoring or flat out telling me no or talking back & screaming fits (not crying, screaming angrily) that include whole body flailing(sp?) which is not to hard to deal with except he has been doing it a naptime all this week. Monday he yelled the ENTIRE nap time. Yesterday, no so much at nap but he didn't go to sleep until 1:40 and nap os over at 2. Right now it is 1:41 and he is still awake, lying on his cot quietly but that was not the case until about 10 minutes ago.

Some days hae been better than others. Monday-all day fits, Tuesday-great day, Wednesday-morning was ok nap terrible and afternoon terrible, Thursday-1 huge fit in the morning, nap was ok and afternoon was pretty good, Today-great morning, terrible nap time

I've tried to get info from dcd about the autism but he says he'll have to talk to mom and get back to me because he doesn't know anything about it. I don't know what ot do because I called mom one day and told her that I understand if he doesn't want to nap but he cannot yell and keep everyone else awake but I don't know if I should have hin picked up when he does it because it seems like that woul just reinforce the behavior

Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated!

[NeedaVaca]

The only advice I have is get all the info on the autism from mom right away and if he was diagnosed how on earth can DCD not know anything about it? He should be receiving therapy if he has been diagnosed already...Have you told the parents what his behavior has been like this week? If so, what was their response?

[butterfly]

My son is autistic. Routine is key! He is very by the book and needs to know what is going to happen next. He's also very literal, as he's gotten older he's learned some of the common slang that people use so it's less of an issue. But any type of slang caused great confusion and eventually tantrums for him. Autistic kids are very smart, way beyond their years in many cases. You just need to find the 'tricks' that work for that particular kid. Social situations are often hard for them. Emotions are often hard for them to understand. Social stories can help with this.

When our son was younger we made a picture chart that showed the routine/schedule of the day. That helped alot.

I bet he may have sensory issues of some sort also. My son is very sensitive to noise. When things are too loud he'll have a melt down or tantrum. He can hear crazy things. Like the hum of a light bulb, etc.

My son often speaks in an 'outdoor voice', because to him it seems like everyone else is yelling all the time too. He's just so sensitive to it.

The sensory things can affect his nap time too. If there is a noise he's hearing or if the feel of his blanket is strange to him, etc.

Definitely talk to mom to find out what things he responds to. I would start with a strict routine and go from there.

Don't freak out just because he's diagnosed autistic.

[bunnyslippers]

My son is autistic. Routine is key! He is very by the book and needs to know what is going to happen next. He's also very literal, as he's gotten older he's learned some of the common slang that people use so it's less of an issue. But any type of slang caused great confusion and eventually tantrums for him. Autistic kids are very smart, way beyond their years in many cases. You just need to find the 'tricks' that work for that particular kid. Social situations are often hard for them. Emotions are often hard for them to understand. Social stories can help with this.

When our son was younger we made a picture chart that showed the routine/schedule of the day. That helped alot.

I bet he may have sensory issues of some sort also. My son is very sensitive to noise. When things are too loud he'll have a melt down or tantrum. He can hear crazy things. Like the hum of a light bulb, etc.

My son often speaks in an 'outdoor voice', because to him it seems like everyone else is yelling all the time too. He's just so sensitive to it.

The sensory things can affect his nap time too. If there is a noise he's hearing or if the feel of his blanket is strange to him, etc.

Definitely talk to mom to find out what things he responds to. I would start with a strict routine and go from there.

Don't freak out just because he's diagnosed autistic.

Great advice! If he is 3, he is also eligible to be receiving special education services from the public school system, at the expense of the school system. Early intervention is the key to effective development of skills. He should be getting specialized therapy, and his parents should be pushing for that.

[boysx5]

My fourth son has aspergers and he is very diffcult at times keeping to a schedule and being postive is a plus for him. Its alot of hard work. The parents have to be on the same page as you

[butterfly]

Great advice! If he is 3, he is also eligible to be receiving special education services from the public school system, at the expense of the school system. Early intervention is the key to effective development of skills. He should be getting specialized therapy, and his parents should be pushing for that.

I forgot this!! Yes, they can do therapy with him to help with behaviors and they can actually come to your daycare or the child's home to help you with the behaviors too. (atleast they do in our area)

[bunnyslippers]

Most school systems now have programs for preschool age kiddos right in one of the school buildings, that they then supplement with in-home therapy/training for parents and care givers. Your taxes are paying for it, so access it!

[cheerfuldom]

I would go ahead and term based on the fact that the parents withheld info at interview and continue to communicate poorly, if at all. If you really want to salvage the relationship, have a sit down discussion about the whole thing with a plan in place to address nap time. I personally have no training on autism and I would term if I had a disruptive child, where the rest of my techniques and discipline were not effective. the parents should have told you BEFORE enrollment and been open about what to expect from you, so you could make an informed decision about whether he is a good fit for your program.

[Patches]

The only advice I have is get all the info on the autism from mom right away and if he was diagnosed how on earth can DCD not know anything about it? He should be receiving therapy if he has been diagnosed already...Have you told the parents what his behavior has been like this week? If so, what was their response?

Yes I have talked to dcd about the behaviors at pick up time and he talked to dcb in front of me and at home about the behaviors. He doesn't know much about it because he is actually stepdad but dcb calls him dad and so does the rest of the family so I think he may have been diagnosed before he was in the picture (not trying to make an excuse, I do feel like he should know more about it)

My son is autistic. Routine is key! He is very by the book and needs to know what is going to happen next. He's also very literal, as he's gotten older he's learned some of the common slang that people use so it's less of an issue. But any type of slang caused great confusion and eventually tantrums for him. Autistic kids are very smart, way beyond their years in many cases. You just need to find the 'tricks' that work for that particular kid. Social situations are often hard for them. Emotions are often hard for them to understand. Social stories can help with this.

When our son was younger we made a picture chart that showed the routine/schedule of the day. That helped alot.

I bet he may have sensory issues of some sort also. My son is very sensitive to noise. When things are too loud he'll have a melt down or tantrum. He can hear crazy things. Like the hum of a light bulb, etc.

My son often speaks in an 'outdoor voice', because to him it seems like everyone else is yelling all the time too. He's just so sensitive to it.

The sensory things can affect his nap time too. If there is a noise he's hearing or if the feel of his blanket is strange to him, etc.

Definitely talk to mom to find out what things he responds to. I would start with a strict routine and go from there.

Don't freak out just because he's diagnosed autistic.

I think you're right on because now that I think about it, our daily routine has been thrown off because I now have two infants enrolled. I forgeot to mention that in my OP but I thought the babies might be some of his problem. They are very young (3 months and 6 almost 7 weeks now) and require quite a bit of attention. I give dcb a lot of attention still and praise him for all kinds of good behaviors.
Also, I think you're right about the sensory issues. I have been thinking that from the beginning because he does not like to put his hand in water. When he's washing his hands he only wants to wash his fingertips.

[bunnyslippers]

Yes I have talked to dcd about the behaviors at pick up time and he talked to dcb in front of me and at home about the behaviors. He doesn't know much about it because he is actually stepdad but dcb calls him dad and so does the rest of the family so I think he may have been diagnosed before he was in the picture (not trying to make an excuse, I do feel like he should know more about it)



I think you're right on because now that I think about it, our daily routine has been thrown off because I now have two infants enrolled. I forgeot to mention that in my OP but I thought the babies might be some of his problem. They are very young (3 months and 6 almost 7 weeks now) and require quite a bit of attention. I give dcb a lot of attention still and praise him for all kinds of good behaviors.
Also, I think you're right about the sensory issues. I have been thinking that from the beginning because he does not like to put his hand in water. When he's washing his hands he only wants to wash his fingertips.

There are lots of great sensory integration ideas you could try with him. My sensory kids used to LOVE the sensory bins I had for them. They also loved "squishy balls." You can find them at walmart, they are just balls that are easy to squish. It always helped calm them down. Check out pinterest for sensory ideas...there are so many!!!!! I applaud you for trying to find a solution for this little guy! happyfacehappyfacehappyface

[Patches]

UPDATE:

Finally got to speak to mom yesterday and she told me there has been no official diagnosis since he is too young(:confused: not sure if that's right but I don't really know how it works) Anyway, she told me that yes, he does have sensory issues (which I figured in the first place), but she gave me a few tips about what setd him off and what calms him down. Seems like something she should have shared with me in the first place but now I hope she can be more open and honest with me or else this will not work.
So this morning was pretty good and at nap time I used one of the calming tips she gave me and he went to sleep happyface Not one bit of yelling today.

[butterfly]

Awesome! Thanks for the update. She may be right in having to wait for a diagnosis. Some characteristics of autism are similar to toddler behavior. Some professionals tend to wait it out to see if it's something that gets outgrown. We had to wait until Kindergarten to get my son's diagnosis. I'm so happy for you that today was better. Praying for things to continue positively!

[MarinaVanessa]

UPDATE:

Finally got to speak to mom yesterday and she told me there has been no official diagnosis since he is too young(:confused: not sure if that's right but I don't really know how it works) Anyway, she told me that yes, he does have sensory issues (which I figured in the first place), but she gave me a few tips about what setd him off and what calms him down. Seems like something she should have shared with me in the first place but now I hope she can be more open and honest with me or else this will not work.
So this morning was pretty good and at nap time I used one of the calming tips she gave me and he went to sleep happyface Not one bit of yelling today.

That's great news!! I'm glad that the tips she gave you are working.

I would make sure to talk to DCM about how the tips worked and had you known that there was in issue with DCB in the first place you would have been able to be better prepared and knew what to expect. I would also be sure to tell ask about other information that she intentionally left out ... and I would make sure to word it just like that because that is exactly what she did ... and then let her know that if she keeps any valuable information like that from me again that it will not work between us. I would make sure to discuss that with her so that she is clear that if she keeps information from you she will get the boot.

For the most part I bet she was just scared that you wouldn't accept her son just because he has a disability ... lots of providers make up on excuse or another just to not have to take a child on with special needs. She was probably just waiting to get him in the door and figured if it arose then that's when she would tell you about it. It's still not right but she was probably worried she wouldn't be able to find a daycare provider that would want to accept him.