Potty Trained vs. Not Potty Trained

[newtodaycare22]

I just opened yesterday and my guidelines for enrolling were 3-5, or potty trained 2's. I have a 3 year old who wants to come, who is not potty trained (he is on "in the process", ) For those of you who have a mixture of potty trained and not...how difficult is it? I'm trying to do a preschool setting and I just don't feel like changing diapers all day. However, I also don't want to turn down business if it won't be that much of a deal. ) Thanks for opinions!

[SunflowerMama]

I just opened yesterday and my guidelines for enrolling were 3-5, or potty trained 2's. I have a 3 year old who wants to come, who is not potty trained (he is on "in the process", ) For those of you who have a mixture of potty trained and not...how difficult is it? I'm trying to do a preschool setting and I just don't feel like changing diapers all day. However, I also don't want to turn down business if it won't be that much of a deal. ) Thanks for opinions!

I don't think it would be a big deal at all. I have 4 in diapers and 4 potty trained. If he's 3 and his parents are working with him and you help a bit I'm sure he'll be potty trained in no time...maybe.

[JJPlaycare]

It is ultimately up to you, but I would like to tell you "in the process" can mean alot of different things to different people! They could have taken him off of diapers yesterday making him "in the process" or they could have been steadly working on it for months making him "in the process" I would find out more!! However what I have found with kiddos right around that age that are actually being worked with at home, potty train quite easily when they are surrounded by kids who are potty trained, I call it a domino effect!! I think you would be fine with him and you are talking 3 maybe 4 diapers max a whole day at that age!!

[misol]

If you are concerned that a kid in diapers will be a major interruption to preschool it probably won't. We do preschool here too and we have 2 younger ones in diapers. Changing infant/toddler diapers is quick for me and doesn't really interrupt us because my diaper changes are scheduled around the time we actually do lessons.

If the real issue is that you are like me and just hate changing "big boy" diapers ,then tell the parents that since they are already "in the process", they might as well continue and then enroll him after he's fully trained. A good idea would be to find out what their definition of "in the process" means. Get clear details on how far along he is so you can guestimate how long YOU think it will take before he is trained.

You might need to change your guidelines to say they have to either be completely potty-trained or not. In this day and age, there is a good possibility that you will have a 4-year old who isn't trained that wants to enroll.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I find that preschoolers still in diapers, or even in the process if potty training, would be a pain, if you want more of a preschool environment than a daycare environment. Imagine: Everyone takes their potty breaks, then you begin circle time. In the middle of circle time, you begin smelling so and so. Everyone else makes a big deal of "he's poopy!", and you have to post-pone circle time to change him, while the children who were in circle time sitting quietly are now up and playing. And do NOT wish to be interrupted to finish circle time. Although if you have an assistant, that would make a big difference too.
I agree with JJPlaycare. Find out what "in the process" means. If the child is doing well and seems to be almost potty trained, then I'd say go ahead and take them. But if they've just started out, just so they can say the child is "in the process", you may want to tell them that they can enroll the child after he's potty trained. I know a lot of preschools only take potty trained children. It seems to be a given for most people: my child in preschool = potty trained. But if you consider yourself mainly a daycare, then 2 1/2 - 3 yr old preschooers who are NOT potty trained yet seem to be the norm. I don't know why it makes a difference, but it seems to.

[Unregistered]

Personally I do not take kids who are 3 and not potty trained I think it is gross for a 3 year old to still poop in pee in a diaper unless of course its something they cant help because they have a special need.

[marniewon]

I"m with everyone else who says "in the process" could mean so many things! I have a 3yo who has been "in the process" for 6 months now!! He just turned 3, but is as tall as a 5-6yo and has a vocabulary that is better than many adults I know!! I try not to get disgusted (or at least let him see my disgust) by having to change his nasty diaper when he's obviously old enough and smart enough to figure this out. When I notice him pooping, I will tell him to come in to the bathroom and poop on the potty. He will tell me (no lie!) "No, you can just change me later"!! Yuck!

[GretasLittleFriends]

I try not to get disgusted (or at least let him see my disgust) by having to change his nasty diaper when he's obviously old enough and smart enough to figure this out. When I notice him pooping, I will tell him to come in to the bathroom and poop on the potty. He will tell me (no lie!) "No, you can just change me later"!! Yuck!

When my son hit this stage, I gave up. He was 3yrs old. I took him to the store, let him pick out his own "cool" underwear. He picked Cars underwear. We went home and put them on. No more diapers during the day. He knew how to go to the bathroom, he just didn't want to. The first time he wet his pants was a quick reminder as to why he needs to stop and go potty. That was the end of it. Well, except for night time. That took a little longer because he was such a heavy sleeper with a small bladder...

[marniewon]

Unfortunately, this isn't my child, and mom doesn't agree with that idea - believe me, I've tried to give suggestions, and that was one of them.

Fortunately, he's a drop in and there are weeks that I don't have him at all. His mom is working with him, but he's just not interested.

[Unregistered]

Marniewon WOW he says no you can change me later that is gross I would REFUSE to watch her child untill he is trained or charge her more see how fast she would get off her lazy bum then and train her kid. I cant believe parents these days my 2 boys where 2 and half when trained and my little girl was 1 years old I also trained 3 dc kids 2 who where 2 and 1 who was 2 and half it really comes down to the parents being pazy I tell my parents when I see that there child is ready and tell them I think its time to start maybe you should bring that up too.

[TGT09]

Yeah, that is pretty gross that he tells you that. Do you let him get away with it or do you change him right away?? Have you tried rewards while he's at your house for going potty??

[marniewon]

Since he's already started "going" when I catch him, I'm not about to put him on the potty at that point. But no, I don't change him right away, I figure if maybe he has to sit in it for a bit he'll decide to try the potty next time. If he asks to be changed (and yes, he does), I tell him I'll just do it later. .

I'm almost thinking of buying underwear and trying it myself the next time he's here. I don't want to deal with the mess, but better that than a nasty diaper! Wish mom would just do it at home and get him trained. And, btw, I won't turn her down for care, she's an old friend from high school and going through a tough spot right now, so I take him to help her out (she pays me of course, but at this point I think it would be really cruel for me to focus on potty training when she has a ton of other things going on).

[momma2girls]

If you are concerned that a kid in diapers will be a major interruption to preschool it probably won't. We do preschool here too and we have 2 younger ones in diapers. Changing infant/toddler diapers is quick for me and doesn't really interrupt us because my diaper changes are scheduled around the time we actually do lessons.

If the real issue is that you are like me and just hate changing "big boy" diapers ,then tell the parents that since they are already "in the process", they might as well continue and then enroll him after he's fully trained. A good idea would be to find out what their definition of "in the process" means. Get clear details on how far along he is so you can guestimate how long YOU think it will take before he is trained.

You might need to change your guidelines to say they have to either be completely potty-trained or not. In this day and age, there is a good possibility that you will have a 4-year old who isn't trained that wants to enroll.

I agree!! YOu have to spell everything out anymore!! I have it down in my contract: must be in pullups or diapers til fully potty trained, this means goes on their own, without assistance from myself.

[Carole's Daycare]

Older kids who are not potty trained are gross. I have learned the hard way parents lie/equivocate on the subject, so in process probably means not potty trained. Older 2's will potty train if surrounded by other big kids already using the toilet- but once they hit 3 or so, its not a training thing- its a choice- a deliberate behavior regarding power and control- and very difficult to correct, especially if parents aren't consistent. I have in the past told parents of more part-time/drop in kids with behavioral or potty training issues that they need to pay for and enroll full time for a month or two so I can achieve results, or leave, because sporadic scheduling prevents consistency and I refuse to deal with those type of issues indefinately with no real hope of resolution. As wrong as it may seem, I do not hide from child or parent how disgusting and ridiculous I find it, and do in a way punish 4 yr olds who have no medical reason by excluding them from other "big kid" special activities that are for my big kids who went potty all week w/ no uh- oh's. Mean, I know. But it works. That child will continue to poo their pants until it's no longer giving them what they want- power and attention. When you exclude stinky kid from activities and praise the other kids, without giving him much negative attention- essentially ignoring him, he'll decide its more advantageous to fall in line.

[MyAngels]

Maybe you could get your friend the book "Toilet Training In Less Than a Day" by Nathan Azrin. I first bought this book when I was a young mom - 25 years ago - for my oldest son, and he was literally perfectly trained in one day at two years old. I still use some of the method with my daycare kids, although I don't go all out with it as I feel this is a job for the parents, not me. I have given this book to a few parents over the years that seemed to struggle with getting their boys trained (the girls never seem to need it).