Touchy

[hoopinglady]

I'm sure this has been addressed on here before and I haven't been on here in forever (HIYA!!) but just wanted other more experienced opinions.

I've had children who touch themselves before, mostly girls, normally at nap time but this current little lady is sort of compulsive and it happens quite a bit even after the others have started to wake up. She's 4.

I had just been ignoring it. Her mother suggested that she was trying to teach her about "manners" and how it isn't polite to do that in front of other people. I agreed but didn't see it as an issue.

It has started to make me just a smidge uncomfortable though so today, I just confronted her alone and quietly told her that is not to be done in front of people, ok...just like mama told you. She genuinely looked confused which made me feel guilty because it was as if her mama hadn't brought it up and little lady wasn't aware she was even doing anything inappropriate. She just said ok and started up again as soon as I walked away but not in a sneaky way, more in a compulsive way...and eventually fell asleep.

What have ya'll done in such situations? Continue to remind her? Talk to mama?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I don't want to appear dramatic, but could she be experiencing sexual abuse in her life elsewhere (Dad, Grandpa, Uncle, brother, family friend, etc.)?

[kendallina]

My daughter used to do this while in her carseat. She started 'pumping' (we called it) against the buckle before she was a year old. It was as you describe...kind of compulsive. As she got older we would casually say to her, 'no pumping'. As she got even older (3 yrs old or so), she would get angry with us for telling her not to pump. Agh. She's now 4.5 and doesn't do it anymore. We've had to repeat several times that it's not okay to touch ourselves in front of others.

Children explore all parts of their body out of exploration. When they touch areas of their body that feel good, they want to touch their body there again. I disagree with previous poster that a child touching themselves like this is necessarily a sign of sexual abuse.

I would probably try a couple of other friendly reminders to her, but then if the behavior doesn't go away and if it doesn't become noticed by the other children, etc, I would just let it go for a while before trying 'reminders' again.

[hoopinglady]

I agree, Kendallina, I never suspected it was abnormal or a sign of abuse...just a bit awkward, .

I've seen this type of behavior in children as young as 2, just not as frequent as this. Before a year old? Wow. That is fascinating.

[kendallina]

I agree, Kendallina, I never suspected it was abnormal or a sign of abuse...just a bit awkward, .

I've seen this type of behavior in children as young as 2, just not as frequent as this. Before a year old? Wow. That is fascinating.

Yeh, before a year old. It was weird and at first we thought it was some kind of anxiety thing or her being uncomfortable. But when she was three years old, I asked her why she did it. She, of course, said, I don't know. I said, do you feel it because you are upset or because it feels good? She responded with a smile, 'because it feels good'. Oh boy. I think maybe she's just really sensitive down there or something, I really don't know... eeek