This Family Is Driving Me Insane

[Lorna]

This daycare family is driving me nuts. Its one thing after another with them. I am so ready to terminate them.

-Within a week of starting in Oct. their son was here and had diarrhea. I called her to pick him up because it was bad enough it wasn't going to stay within the the diaper. Within the next few days he threw up. I called them to pick him up. Apparently that was my fault. Child shoves things in his mouth he shouldn't and chokes and pukes. ie leaves, hair, dirt. So the mom tells me she is givinng me 2 weeks notice. Uses the excuse that they are spending too much on gas. I was talking to another provider who referred them to me and told me they are looking for someone who will take the child when he is sick. She tries to tell them that isn't going to happen. So the woman than changes her mind and decides to leave him with me still.

-she sent him to daycare tylenoled. I can't prove it but I know she did.

-the child has missed alot of days being sick. and he is always sick. Her older boy (who isn't in my care) had symptoms of slapped cheek syndrome. I told her that is what it sounded like. Then sure enough the younger child gets it and spreads it around my house. All my daycare got it and my daughter.

-I've had to talk to the mom constantly about wiping the childs face. The child screams when you wipe his face. So she doesn't do it. Sends him to me with cereal plastered all over his face. I've had to ask her more than once about it. With this child constantly sick he has now been coming with snot all over his face. Dried on his face cheek to cheek. Again I had to say something. Between the food and the snot on his face...she cleans it for a bit and then stops again. So then I get to be the bad guy and clean his face. When you wipe this childs face he screams. Scares all the other kids in the house. Then I have at least 3 children crying because he is screaming. Now I can't even wipe his face or nose without screaming and crying. And with him being sick all the time, constant running nose.

-the parents are carrying the child everywhere. Its obvious that this child screams and they run to do what he wants. Which makes things difficult here. I say no and he screams. He has figured out if he screams they do what he wants. I've also mentioned the screaming and that I need them to be addressing that at home. I mentioned it months ago and it hasn't gotten any better. He doesn't cry at a normal level either. Screaming and crying combined.

-this past week on Tuesday when she dropped him off she said she was going to keep him home with his dad on Wed, thurs Fri. I said okay. He wasn't here for 2 days but then she callled and asked if he could come Friday. So friday morning she pays me for two weeks. I count it after she leaves and she deducted two days. I called her and asked. she said she must have counted it wrong would give it to me tonight. I asked if it was because of the two days he was off. She said no she knew she had to pay it. So her husband picks up the child leaves me with the money and he says "so my wife owes you for the two days that he wasn't here" . I answered ah yeah she told me she counted wrong. But yes you do have to pay for the 2 days. Its a full time spot and I couldn't possibly fill the space with no notice. If you are taking holidays let me know a couple of weeks in advance. The same way I do for you. He agrees and says he understands. What the are they trying to pull?? Obviously he is aware she was trying to not pay for those days. He got her caught in a lie.

I was ready to have the argument of you will have to pay it before he can return to daycare. Thinking they would put up a fight and find other care. It was so nice and quiet when he wasn't here those two days. I thought for sure this might be it and they would find other care.

I have other special needs children coming into my home in a few weeks. Its not 100% sure though. The screaming I just won't be able to do with him. I might just tell them I hurt my back and I can't lift him. So sorry they will have to find someone else right away. But I need the money so until I have someone else to take his spot or the other 2 children are here I can't do anything.

This is the only family I have a problem with. The other families are all great parents, great kids.

[mbullette]

Why don't you just terminate and then not have to worry?? It's not worth it to keep him. If you dont like the family and the kids just screams, I would term. It will be better for everyone in the long run and you will have your sanity back.

[momofboys]

I would term, sounds like a very difficult situation & they have not followed your rules either. The mess over the day they took off & them trying to short you the days would make me feel very disrespected also.

[Michelle]

just a suggestion... because the mother never cleans his face, it is possible that his face hurts when you wash it with a baby wipe... some wipes have alcohol in them, he may be rashy, and they are cold too.
Maybe try to wash him over the sink with warm soapy water and a soft cloth instead.
I know how you feel, I have several screamers and when they are absent, it is very obvious!

[Lorna]

just a suggestion... because the mother never cleans his face, it is possible that his face hurts when you wash it with a baby wipe... some wipes have alcohol in them, he may be rashy, and they are cold too.
Maybe try to wash him over the sink with warm soapy water and a soft cloth instead.
I know how you feel, I have several screamers and when they are absent, it is very obvious!

No I don't think that is it. He screams when you wipe nose with a kleenex. He just doesn't like his face wiped. After meals I use a warm wet facecloth on each child. He screams then too. And he has learned from his parents that if he screams they won't wipe him. There are no marks on his face when he is clean. He does start getting marks because they aren't cleaning him. I've found food in his ears, behind his ears, in his hair.

[Blackcat31]

Sounds to me like this family is just not a good fit for your program.

You need to do what is best for everyone involved and term them.

This mom needs a care provider who has the time and willingness to go above and beyond and do the things you don't have time to deal with.

Nothing wrong with you/your program.....just that is is not the right fit for the needs of this family.

It isn't fair to them to keep them on if their are no solutions to the issues.

[Scout]

I say term now also, with notice. I don't mean to sound harsh but, I find it very unprofessional and rude to term them with no notice after you find another family. I always put myself in someone else's shoes. What if it were you that was given absolutely no notice of your childcare provider no longer working with you? What would you do in that situation? I also wouldn't lie for I think these little white lies always have a way of coming out! It's not worth it to me. Unless it's a severe behavioral issue or not following procedures as stated in your contract I don't think it's fair to term without notice just because you have found another family. JMHO. Good luck in whatever you decide!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Give them your two weeks notice on Monday. :hug:

[Lorna]

Funny I was looking a friends pictures of her daycare kids and here is a picture of the older son. My friend closed her daycare and moved last year. So I asked her about the family. Funny that when I asked the mom if the older child had gone to daycare she said he hadn't. I even remember mentioned my friends name and that they lived the next street over. and that I had gotten all my friends daycare stuff when she closed. Well my friend said she had the same issues. The mom told her not to wipe the boys face. He would scream so loud she thought someone was going to call childrens aid on her. She also had issue with payments. Way worst than me though. She said they late paying by weeks. When she found out the mom was pregnant she was happy she was closing because she didn't want to take both kids.

I just hate the confrontation. But its pretty much a given with these people. I'm sure that next week they will send him dirty or bring up trying to rip me off last week. I'm so sure they will be something and I'll just immediately terminate him.

[Bkind]

by the sounds you should just let them go tell them in fairness you just don't think you can meet their needs at this time and it is now effecting the other children negatively and they need your time as well and it just unfair to the others as well as your child to continue care ,, we all need to pay the bills but at what cost? and is it worth it only you can decide what your tolerance level will be.. Sometimes we are lucky and we get parents who truly try to work this us on issues their kids have,, then other times we are not so lucky and we get parents who really just don't care to hear about and say thats just our problem deal with it basically and that is fine but only if I truly believe I can at least change the behavior in my environment b/c kids know they can act one way here but not there but if I see I am not being successful with a child who's' parent doesn't care to be on board with us then it time for us to both move on at that point b/c it is no longer positive for the child , the other children, me or my family by the end of the day best of luck

[Lorna]

Yes, just not worth this. The mother called this morning and now says he is sick. Yeah sure he is.

I packed up all his stuff and did up a termination letter. So just the choice whether I let him come tommorow (if they don't call sick again) and tell them at the end of the day. Or call tonight. I doubt they would pay me if I give them notice tommorrow at the end of the day.

[Bkind]

one good reason I have ppl pay me Monday morning and if I terminate I usually give them back whatever days I did not care for their child ta boot (then they know it's not all about the money)****also I never put anything in writing in this day and age ppl always find a way to twist anything, I do a face to face at the end of the day or at drop off or in your case with a call off sick I would just try to call their house and let them know and tell them I have their things ready whenever they can pick them up but anything not picked up after 30 days will be trashed GOOD LUCK

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes, just not worth this. The mother called this morning and now says he is sick. Yeah sure he is.

I packed up all his stuff and did up a termination letter. So just the choice whether I let him come tommorow (if they don't call sick again) and tell them at the end of the day. Or call tonight. I doubt they would pay me if I give them notice tommorrow at the end of the day.

I would text mom tonight or tomorrow (early) and remind her about bringing the payment ... "Good Morning. Just wanted to remind you to bring the balance that you owe which is $***.xx this morning when you drop off Johnny. If he's still sick I'll still need the payment today. Thanks!" and see if she replies.

At this point if you don't think they'll pay up then I wouldn't let him in your DC unless they pay up front. It's bad enough that they owe already but you don't want to allow them to rack up even more debt. I would have them pay up what they owed and then pay in advance for this week too before they're allowed to come back. If they don't come back again .... well, good riddance.

[TheGoodLife]

Good luck! :hug:

[Lorna]

I would text mom tonight or tomorrow (early) and remind her about bringing the payment ... "Good Morning. Just wanted to remind you to bring the balance that you owe which is $***.xx this morning when you drop off Johnny. If he's still sick I'll still need the payment today. Thanks!" and see if she replies.

At this point if you don't think they'll pay up then I wouldn't let him in your DC unless they pay up front. It's bad enough that they owe already but you don't want to allow them to rack up even more debt. I would have them pay up what they owed and then pay in advance for this week too before they're allowed to come back. If they don't come back again .... well, good riddance.

One problem is that I was letting them pay at the end two weeks. So as of today they owe me nothing. They did pay me for the two days they tried to short me. Big mistake letting them pay after they already have received the daycare. But at the time I thought they were trustworthy. I drove by their house today and yesterday during the day. The dad is at home. I am pretty sure he has lost his job. So I know they can't afford daycare. I would be surprised if they show up tomorrow. I don't' know if they plan on calling and saying he is sick til the dad gets another job.