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I have a dcb (9 months) who's grandma often picks up and is extremely rude. I kind of grit my teeth and bear it because quite frankly what she says doesn't matter, she doesn't sign my paychecks. However, she is "tattling" on me for things that I haven't even done. I drive my children to the bus stop in bad weather and one day she texted me to let me know she was on her way so I texted back and said ok but if I'm not there I'm at the bus stop and it shouldn't be long. She then called the mother and said that I had her son outside walking down to the bus stop. The mom was outraged and texted basically telling me off and I said no I drive and you are aware that I drive to the bus stop with him in the car. Then yesterday the grandma picks up and asks why it's so quiet in the house so I told her that they had a lot of treats today and so they are probably sugar crashed. Apparently I needed to be specific that I did not give the 9 month old sugar because she told the mother that I had given him cake. First off, this child is not developmentally ready for solids and even though the mother has told me he was allowed to have cheerios I told her I still don't quite feel comfortable giving them to him here so why she would think that I would give him cake is beyond me. Honestly, I've never had a parent question my abilities like this. I do my job extremely well and it's kind of insulting that they don't think I have more sense than this.
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Personally, I would term. No way in he77 I would put up with that kind of direspect....especially from someone I never contracted with. -
Hmmm... I wonder if the Grandmother is hoping to watch him?Comment
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grandma works full time so I don't think that's it. She comes off as one of those extremely critical people like nothing will ever be good enough. Even when it comes to her daughter and son in law, she always complains about the hat they brought or whatever. It's always something. I'm thinking of terming because they are only part time, I always have to ask for the paycheck each week and they always drop off during non-drop off time (I have a 30 minute block to get my children set for school take them to the bus stop and then bring everyone back safely in which they are more than welcome to bring him before this block and he would go with me to the bus stop or after I come back but he always come smack dab in the middle causing me to feel rushed to hurry and let them in the door when I come back)Comment
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I wouldn't give grandma any details.
"its so quiet in your house today" "yup".
"i'm coming to get dck" "not in right now but will be back in a few minutes"
Short and not even necessarily sweet
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I agree with the pp about not giving anyone but the parents details. And had mom called to rip me about the bus stop situation I would have told her then and there that she was on notice, and any other incident would warrent immediate termination. And that would only be if the family was otherwise very good and the baby was a dream. Otherwise I would just term now and be done.Comment
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I would put them on probabtion. Tell them exactly why- the disrespect and rudeness youve recieved from grandma. Have them deal with her and if it doesnt change, term them....a paycheck isnt worth itComment
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Yah now I just need to find that backbone of mine apparently.Comment
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If the mother is the one you have the contract with, you can tell the mom that this situation is not working for you because you have a contract with her not the grandma and it seems that her mother is disrespectful towards you and your rules/schedule/program and that it is causing issues between the family and yourself. and for now on either she talks to her mother about her behavior, she/dad pick up the child themselves, they find someone else (besides grandma) to pick the child up, or find a new daycare.
Maybe look into what your pick up or termination policies say about disrespect towards the provider by a drop-off/ pick up adult and look into adding something about having the right to restrict the number of adults or removing pick-up chaperones from the list if they show any threat or disrespect for you, your family/employees, your program, or children/families in your program. If you don't already have that in your contract put it in your contract and have families sign it. Anyone who is on your property during daycare hours (and even after) should follow your rules- even if they didn't sign a contract. This maybe a business but it is still your home and you have a right to have a say in what (or who) is/isn't allowed.Comment
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If you don't straight out term for such a lack of trust you should point blank ask mom why the grandmother keeps lying and throwing you under the bus for no reason. I'd probably go so far as to ask if she's got all her marbles or what because the slanderous stuff she makes up out of nowhere is just so bizarre. Presented in a concerned tone would make your point and probably go over best.
Who knows, mom might have first hand experience with her doing the exact same thing to her and have no idea she tries to manipulate others in the same way.Comment
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One of my biggest points when I talk to my parents is that if at any time they don't have 100% confidence in me as a provider that they should immediately find care elsewhere because that to me is a huge concern. And for someone to keep their children in care in which they question is downright neglect in my book.Comment
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Fast forward to this morning... dcd drops off the baby on a day he wasn't scheduled to be here. Not only that but also arrived during my non-drop off time and let himself in before I got back from the bus stop. I mean are they trying to get terminated or are they really this inconsiderate? I reminded them that any schedule changes HAVE to be communicated then stuck a rule reminder sheet in their diaper bag. I think on the next rule break I'm terming. Should I give them two weeks or just say end of week because I'm positive they'll rule break again. Something tells me they just don't think rules apply to them. I don't want to deal with their inconsideration for my business or home anymore.Comment
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Did you take the baby in? If so, I don't mean to be rude but they are breaking rules because you are allowing them to. kwim?
If you didn't then good for you! Parents will NEVER respect and follow your policies unless you do as well.
If you are going to term because of the constant rule breaking, I would give them two weeks WITH the added clause that if they break any rules during the final two weeks, then termination is immediate with NO refunds.Comment
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Oh for sure but I just don't really know how to handle this type of behavior because I've never been faced with it before.Comment
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