Is It Wrong Of Me To Do This???

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

So this 10 month old that come's here everyday that smells like heavy cigarette smoke, is being treated to a nice warm, soapy wipe down and a clean pair of clothes for the day until a half hour before the parents pick up and its back to his smelly dirty clothes.

My husband is worried that I will be "busted" and they will be mad at me for doing that.

I figure I will just tell them if I get "busted" that he had an accident and im washing his other clothes and they will stay with me.

Im not looking to term him. They pay my fees on time and bring me what I need, he is just dirty and smelly and I figure why do we all have to smell that and smell like that at the end of the day?

Thoughts??

[Springdaze]

I think alot will not agree, but if you want to do it, go for it! as far as the smoke smell, they probably cant tell.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Well, I just figured that he can spend 10 hours a day being clean, happy and less smelly and not spreading 3rd hand smoke to the rest of the group.

[MyAngels]

Whether it's right or wrong I'd do it, too ::. I'm pretty forthright with parents as a whole, so I'd probably just tell them what I do and why, though .

[Scout]

Maybe they need to be educated that third degree cigarette smoke is very unhealthy for babies and young children!! When my first was young DH and I smoked and we would change our shirt to do so and change again when done because of this!! I quit with my second pregnancy and didn't start back up again like I did after the first!Dh never quit but, barely smokes now.

[DaisyMamma]

Gross. I would do it too.

[Blackcat31]

I totally see why you want to bath him but in all honesty as a parent....I would be LIVID if you took it upon yourself to bathe my child without FIRST trying to talk to me about the issue or without you getting my permission.

I completely agree with WHY but I can only imagine the trouble I would be in if I did that.

I think you should try to either "educate" the parent or if you feel uncomfortable doing that let them know that you cannot deal with the smoke smell and would like permission to bathe him

[itlw8]

I would speak up.

I do not know if you notice because you smoke but dcb smells of strong smoke when he gets here every day. As a non smoker it gives me a headache and it is not good for the other children to breath in the 3 rd hand smoke from his clothes.

Then say do you have any ideas how we could take care of this. If not give them the solution of YOU dressing him in fresh clothes kept at his house.

They probably have no idea.

[mamac]

I totally see why you want to bath him but in all honesty as a parent....I would be LIVID if you took it upon yourself to bathe my child without FIRST trying to talk to me about the issue or without you getting my permission.

I completely agree with WHY but I can only imagine the trouble I would be in if I did that.

I think you should try to either "educate" the parent or if you feel uncomfortable doing that let them know that you cannot deal with the smoke smell and would like permission to bathe him

I was thinking the same thing. I felt that way when my in-laws gave my ds a bath when he was an infant. Maybe it's because I was a new parent, but I didn't want ANYONE bathing my child. What if he slipped out of their hands? Or they turned their backs and he drowned? In a way it's no different than taking him swimming without notifying the parents.

As far as the smoke- I completely agree something needs to be done. My kids are no longer allowed to see their grandparents (same in-laws) at their home anymore because of the amount of cigarette smoke inside the house. We very rarely have them over here because after they leave my house it smells for HOURS after they leave. Even birthday cards that get mailed from them are opened, read, and tossed immediately into the trash because they smell so bad.

IMO, I think subjecting your child to that amount of cigarette smoke should be considered child abuse. I can't understand how a child's pediatrician can see this and not be able to do something about it legally, knowing the health risks to the child.

[rmc20021]

I would have a problem giving a child a bath every day when there are other kids needing attention as well.

I totally understand as I detest cigarette odors...it gives me an instant headache and I become neauseous and congested. But I just don't think I'd want that extra burden when I'm already so busy.

Maybe if you just keep fresh clothes there to change him into and give him a quick rub down with some baby wipes...it might improve it enough to be tolerable.

Also, I would hand out a 'note' to all parents with some educational information on it and as you hand it to them, make a few comments about what it's all about so they don't just toss it and never read it.

If you don't single them out, they may not feel as attacked than if they feel it's only them you have the issue with. And in the handout, I would also make notations of what your policy would be in the future should children arrive smelling like cigarette smoke...then don't hide the fact you're 'cleaning' the child afterwards.

There's really not a lot you can do about smokers...they're going to continue to do it and it's doubtful they will change their habits to accomodate you, or their child.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Im not completely bathing him, Just wiping down his hair and arms and face, with a soapy cloth, Then putting him in clean clothes.

I have the time to do it since he arrives first before anyone else gets here.

Its not really my place to tell these people to stop smoking around their child, or to educate the facts as Im sure they know, unless they are complete idiots!!

I used to smoke, but do not anymore. I never smoked around my kids.

Im just trying to let this little sweetie breath a little easier.

[Blackcat31]

Im not completely bathing him, Just wiping down his hair and arms and face, with a soapy cloth, Then putting him in clean clothes.

I have the time to do it since he arrives first before anyone else gets here.

Its not really my place to tell these people to stop smoking around their child, or to educate the facts as Im sure they know, unless they are complete idiots!!
I used to smoke, but do not anymore. I never smoked around my kids.

Im just trying to let this little sweetie breath a little easier.

But it is your place IF it effects you or the other kids. It is also more your place to educate them more so than it is your place to bathe him...kwim?

If you have a rather comfortable or good relationship with them, I would try talking with them about it.

[countrymom]

the parents already know all the facts about smoking so educating them would be pointless and rude.

my mil smoked, so when sil went away to school all her clothes and stuff smelled like smoke, so bad that the kids thought she was a smoker, it took her months to get rid of the smoke smell

last year, my dd had to sit next to a boy who smelled like smoke so bad that she was feeling ill all the time and getting headaches. She had to go to the teacher and ask to be moved because he smelled like smoke, he was a nice kid but she couldn't handle the smell. She didn't want to embarress him so she quietly asked her teacher.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

But it is your place IF it effects you or the other kids. It is also more your place to educate them more so than it is your place to bathe him...kwim?

If you have a rather comfortable or good relationship with them, I would try talking with them about it.

They are fairly new and dont feel comfortable saying anything.

[EchoMom]

I don't know why anyone would be LIVID because you gave their baby a bath, but that's just my opinion.

I have had to bathe babies on a few occasions when they had a poopy blowout that I felt it would be a disservice to just use wipes.

I think a full bath would be too time consuming and impractical to maintain. But you saying you're sponge bathing him sounds great!

Honestly, I would probably do the exact same thing you are doing, or I would do the same but leave him in the clean clothes and send him home in the fresh smelling clothes and tell them I need a new set everyday.

Unless you mean you're putting him into your own personal baby clothes, then yes I would do exactly the same as you.

And, just my opinion, but I think it's wonderful of you to do that and the right and responsible, sanitary and comfortable thing to do for him, yourself, and the other kids. IMO Good job!