Question About A Strong Willed DCG

[Msdunny]

I have a two year old DCG who is extremely headstrong. I have been working with her now for about 3 months. The problem I am having is that for the last week or so, when I have needed to place her in time out. (for hitting, taking toys, etc.), she will not stay there. She gets very worked up, screaming and flailing, and is very angry that I have told her "no".

So, what do you do with the child that won't stay in time out? She will be 3 in a month, and this behavior only started recently - even with screaming fits before, she would stay put. And telling mom?! Pfff! She just rolls her eyes and says, "she's such a little stinker"

[MsCathy]

I find this with a lot of girls this age. Very strong willed and stubborn. Try giving her a choice. Say something like......"we don't hit friends!!! You need to take a moment and sit here until you can calm down" if she refuses....I usually give a choice...like...." You can either sit here or we can take your mat out and you can rest. Pick one. Sit here or on your mat. (In a stern voice.)
2/3 year olds love to test limits....but they also like to think they are in charge....I use a lot of " choices". But I always make sure both choices have an end result that makes them understand there is a consequence for their unacceptable behavior.

You also may want to err ally reward the other children for not hitting. That really "gets" to them and sends a message. Glisten like this love attention and if they see the other children get positive attention for acceptable behavior it may help. "Great job...Johnny for playing so nicely and not hitting" maybe even give a sticker.... It's all a mind game with 2/3 year olds

Just a few suggestions.....
Just be consistent. It will work after a while.....

[MsCathy]

Sorry for typo....that was verbally reward

[wdmmom]

Is she getting up from a chair? Try putting her on a mat and tell her not to get off of it. I got several carpet squares from a local grocery store that had them for $1.00 each.

[sammie]

The first time she gets up from the chair/mat take her back over and put in the chair/on the mat, get down to her level look her in the eyes and tell her she is not to get back up until you come and get her. When she does it again just take her back over and place her back without saying anything and keep repeating (without saying anything) until she stays and finishes her time....she'll get it eventually. This has worked for me in the past not only with dck but with my own!

[Msdunny]

How about when she won't even bend her legs to sit? She is throwing an all out fit when she realizes she isn't going to get her way. Trying to speak to her only illicits louder screams.

[blandino]

The first time she gets up from the chair/mat take her back over and put in the chair/on the mat, get down to her level look her in the eyes and tell her she is not to get back up until you come and get her. When she does it again just take her back over and place her back without saying anything and keep repeating (without saying anything) until she stays and finishes her time....she'll get it eventually. This has worked for me in the past not only with dck but with my own!

Absolutely agree - you just have to let her know that you will not tire. Once Supernanny (US version) had a parent who had a child get up 80+ times, and hey just kept putting him back.

As far as her not bending her legs, maybe switch to a mat/blanket/towel for time out. That way you can lay here there, when she doesn't feel like bending her legs.

[Msdunny]

Thanks folks! I will give these a try tomorrow - fingers crossed!!