Calling All Experts ;)

[wahmof3]

I need some advice, guidance here.

I have a DCK that has returned after after DCM maternity leave. I have always had eating issues with this DCK. I have also previously posted about sensitive child.

This AM DCK sat down with the other DCKs to eat breakfast took a bite and started crying. I asked what was wrong and DCK continued to cry. I removed DCK from the table so the other DCKs could enjoy their breakfast.

Later DCK says to me: I won't cry anymore and hugged me. I responded there is no need to cry.

Lunch: immediate tears as soon as set DCK at the table for lunch. I tried to put DCK at another table in case DCK didn't like eating in front of others. Still cried.

So I have had the DCK since newborn and the DCK is 3.5 years old. I never "make" them eat, food program says I only have to offer it. I do encourage that they try it and I am even slowly stopping that. I know DCK will eat when hungry but how do I stop the tears? I can ignore them, but it is disruptive to other DCKs. Also getting so worked up the DCK will vomit.

Now I guarantee that if lunch consisted of goldfish crackers there would not be any problems.

I REALLY REALLY want this child to have a positive experience in child care. Does anyone have any ideas??

Yesterday, DCK mentioned a sticker chart at home- would you try something like that? I by no means what so ever want to send the wrong message.

Here is my menu:

Yesterday:

B-fruit bar/ apple slices milk (one bite of fruit bar & milk)
L-mac and cheese, corn, applesauce, crackers, milk (crackers and asked for more, cried after I said no)
S- goldfish crackers/dry cereal milk (inhaled)

Today:

B- pancakes/ apple slices (ate nothing)
L- chicken noodle veggie soup, pb sandwich, mandrine oranges, milk (ate nothing)
S- carrot sticks ranch dip, water

[daycarediva]

YIKES! Have you talked to dcm about this at all? I would ask her for a sample menu from home that dcb likes, and see if it contains ANYTHING other than snack food.

poor you, poor dcb, poor other kids!

[wahmof3]

YIKES! Have you talked to dcm about this at all? I would ask her for a sample menu from home that dcb likes, and see if it contains ANYTHING other than snack food.

poor you, poor dcb, poor other kids!

Yes DCM ad I have talked about it. We are both stumped. For instance yesterday's menu was all things DCK likes. I have asked DCM for suggestions.

[cheerfuldom]

it doesnt sound like the menu.

have you talked to mom about this since it really has been such an issue for so long? it almost sounds like he gets A LOT of attention for drama surrounding eating. thats pretty common with some kids.

[daycarediva]

maybe dcm is lying about what food he eats?

hmmm, or maybe it's just the fact that he has to sit for lunch? I have a dcb that hates to sit but gets hungry enough to join us by lunch. He rarely eats breakfast because at home he is allowed to graze (bite of his plate at the coffee table and then can go play toys)


Could you try (depending upon the ages of your group probably) having an indoor picnic with finger food on paper plates and juice boxes? Just to see if it's the 'sit for meals' part he hates?

I'm stumped too!

[wahmof3]

it doesnt sound like the menu.

have you talked to mom about this since it really has been such an issue for so long? it almost sounds like he gets A LOT of attention for drama surrounding eating. thats pretty common with some kids.

So if it is the attention for drama (because you might be right on), is there anything I can do?

[MissAnn]

So if it is the attention for drama (because you might be right on), is there anything I can do?

I would act like it didn't matter if he ate or not. Take away all discussion (attention) about what and how much he eats. I wouldn't even mention if he ate well. If he eats, fine. If not, fine.

[blessed mom]

I would act like it didn't matter if he ate or not. Take away all discussion (attention) aboutmwhatnand how much he eats. I wouldn't even mention if he ate well. If he eats, fine. If not, fine.

I had this issue with one of my kids and I would put a few crackers (which he LOVED) with other foods. Usually the crackers wet his appetite and he would cry but when I didn't respond with new food if he was hungry enough he would try the other stuff and eat some of it.

[wdmmom]

You've got a classic grain eater.

I'd be willing to bet he'll eat anything cracker related or sweet cereal related.

If mom is giving him more sugar than usual, that's what he wants.

He wants the good stuff and the good stuff is exactly what you described.

I had a dcb that went off to pre-k. He's 4.5 now and his brother is 10 months and they are 5 pounds apart!!!

You need to offer lunch and require a bite of each. If you can't even get him to try it, don't offer snack. Re-offer him his lunch. He will soon figure out that eating lunch nets him getting what he wants.

If you can't not offer lunch a second time, offer him snacks you know he won't want. Apple slices, celery sticks, carrots, cantelope, frozen bananas dipped in chocolate, etc.

Sometimes they figure it out, other times they don't.

I'd question dcm how often she cooks homemade meals and how often they grab McD's.

Most times you have this type of eating issue, it's drive through related.

[butterfly]

[QUOTE=wahmof3;3178
Yesterday, DCK mentioned a sticker chart at home- would you try something like that? I by no means what so ever want to send the wrong message.

[/QUOTE]

I personally don't agree with this type of rewards for eating/not eating. I don't like to associate food to any type of reward. It drives me bonkers when a parent of mine gives their child chocolate in the morning because they 'stayed in their bed all night'. I think it can easily promote unhealthy habits.

Maybe a sticker chart for good behavior which may include no crying... as long as it's not connected to food.

Other than that, I've got no advice. I would just be consistent. Offer the food, if they don't eat - fine. Try again with next meal or snack. I'm not sure how to stop the crying other than not acknowledging it and being consistent.

[NeedaVaca]

I am feeling leery of mom saying she's stumped...Why does he have the sticker chart at home if he does fine there? Sounds like food is an issue even at home and I would bet he gets lots of the types of food he likes rather than full well balanced meals. IMO-we can ask the parents what the DCK eats at home but how many would really be honest if they are giving them tons of goldfish, crackers, McDonalds, etc...

[Willow]

You've got a classic grain eater.

I'd be willing to bet he'll eat anything cracker related or sweet cereal related.

If mom is giving him more sugar than usual, that's what he wants.

He wants the good stuff and the good stuff is exactly what you described.

I had a dcb that went off to pre-k. He's 4.5 now and his brother is 10 months and they are 5 pounds apart!!!

You need to offer lunch and require a bite of each. If you can't even get him to try it, don't offer snack. Re-offer him his lunch. He will soon figure out that eating lunch nets him getting what he wants.

If you can't not offer lunch a second time, offer him snacks you know he won't want. Apple slices, celery sticks, carrots, cantelope, frozen bananas dipped in chocolate, etc.

Sometimes they figure it out, other times they don't.

I'd question dcm how often she cooks homemade meals and how often they grab McD's.

Most times you have this type of eating issue, it's drive through related.

This is to the T what I do here. Parents that set their kids up in this sort of cycle drive me absolutely NUTS.

No more crackers of any kind at any meal or snack. If you're on a food program and grains are required push the limits and serve whole grain breads, brown rice, cous cous etc. For snacks I'd get on the raw veggie train and stick to it until he cracks. Offer lots of dips.

Other than that make it a non issue. Remove him from the table if he makes a scene but don't allow him to eat anywhere except the table with everyone else. Don't act disappointed or offer him stickers for doing what everyone else already does just fine.

His reward should be that he's no longer hungry, and it's the only response he should be getting from anyone at all about his eating habits!

[Holiday Park]

This is to the T what I do here. Parents that set their kids up in this sort of cycle drive me absolutely NUTS.

No more crackers of any kind at any meal or snack. If you're on a food program and grains are required push the limits and serve whole grain breads, brown rice, cous cous etc. For snacks I'd get on the raw veggie train and stick to it until he cracks. Offer lots of dips.

Other than that make it a non issue. Remove him from the table if he makes a scene but don't allow him to eat anywhere except the table with everyone else. Don't act disappointed or offer him stickers for doing what everyone else already does just fine.

His reward should be that he's no longer hungry, and it's the only response he should be getting from anyone at all about his eating habits!

THIS !!

My youngest child (I have 4) is 16months and he is being fed a variety of foods including fresh veggies in an effort to keep him from turning out like my daughter. He has not had goldfish crackers and "snack" foods are very limited. He gets stuff like cut up cucumbers/tomatoes grapefruit, oranges, apples, anything different I can find at the grocery store to expose him to new things. Different kids of meats cooked in different ways, different fresh veggies served whole or cut up. Juice is diluted and kept to a very minimum, no candy(very very rare treat), no crackers unless its with peanut butter/fruit etc... He gets mostly WATER, SILK (I don't believe in cows milk) or freshly pumped/thawed frozen breast milk as a beverage. We did baby led weaning where he learned to eat fresh veggies&fruit in its whole form instead of starting out with mush. And he eats great !! He and the 17 month daycare boy had , home cooked pork chops(breaded&herbs) , grilled potato chunks , and cut up fresh tomato&cucumbers today for lunch. Breakfast is usually cheerios and silk (dcb drinks milk) , or oatmeal , and cut up fruit salad or something.
Sometimes its just fish sticks , or mac&cheese so "kid-friendly" stuff too and I want them used to all kinds of stuff , but there is always 1-2 fresh fruit&/or veggies too . I never give grain/crackers /cookies etc.. as snack. In my parent handbook it states this and says if we do have that kind of stuff its called a "treat" not a snack. Because I want them to grow up feeling like eating fresh fruits/veggies is NoRMAL and a part of their daily routine as a true snack. That's just one reason I couldn't do the food program too. There are too many things I disagree with when it comes to what is healthy and what is not.