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So over the last few months I have had a steady gradual decline in a relationship with one of my families. They are not married but separated back in September. I have a hunch that their child (now 3 years old) witnessed a physical fight between the two during the split. He used to be great. Never an issue but ever since that time he has been nothing but problems just about every moment of the day.
His parents re-united after about a month. During that time they had threatened restraining orders, ect and now they are back together and everything is "perfect" again...with the exception of their childs behavior. He is the only child that lives in his house. He has an older half sister.
He pretty much has no people skills. He does not play well. He is very rough. VERY mouthy. Talks back and mouths off to my very tall/stocky husband. Doesn't share well. (He has been here since July). He does hit, kick and push. I finally got him to stop doing this to the younger ones (1 year olds) but he still does it to the 3 year old and my son who is 5. He is SNEAAAAKY. I cannot trust this child if I am not watching him. Example, he goes to the bathroom... if he sees crackers laying on the kitchen table or counter and I am in the playroom he will sneak them. (He is the same size as my 5 year old). He knows he is not allowed in my pantry or refrigerator but he if he goes to use the bathroom he tries to get into it when I am in the playroom changing diapers, ect. His bad behavior sky rockets when the other children his age are here. If they are not...he's not actually that bad. The more kids his age I have the worse he is.
He has been pulling his pants down and sitting on the other kids for some reason. Bare butt. I have also caught him doing this during naptime... pulling his pants down. Another child sleeps in the same room. I talked to his mom about that and he stopped but he has started doing it again.
If I am cooking lunch or feeding my other infants in the kitchen I have tried to have him at the table coloring because he starts fighting with the other kids or throwing toys, running around, beating on toys, running toys into the walls, jumping on the couch, climbing on the furniture, climbing the gate at the other side of the room and taking things he is not supposed to have from the other room or taunting the other kids. (I do not have an open floor plan). He will nag and complain to no end because he doesn't want to color and he wants to go into the playroom. He spends about 1.5 hours fighting his nap. Kicks and drops his legs and arms, tosses and turns, heavy sighs all to keep himself awake. When he does sleep he is out till his parents show up around 3:30-4. It has not caused a problem with sleeping at night. He lies. His parents have brought toys back that he stole without my knowledge 3 separate times and they have not apparently talked to him about how this is wrong because "he's 3"... His mom has admitted to me that she is a push over and pretty much lets him get away with murder at home. She says that she doesn't have it in her to stand up to him and lets him mouth off to her.
The way this kid acts I see him destined for prison. He is a bully and if there is a good choice or a bad choice to make because no one is looking... about 98% of the time it will be the bad choice. Definitely a leader but very impressionistic and I think for sure he is desperate for attention.
I had a discussion about 2 weeks ago with her about his behavior and that I felt like I was not getting through to him. I have tried everything I can think of. Even goal charts. Special rewards and recognition. I feel like because most of my children are younger I cannot set aside anymore attention to him than I do that he very clearly needs. She works in management for a florist and asked me to reconsider and they will continue working with him and just to keep talking to her about how he's doing. She mentioned that with her job this was not a good time for her with Valentines Day coming up this is the worst time. I told her that I would give her two more weeks to work it out to get her through the holiday and if I didn't see any improvement at all I would give her my two week notice at that point.
I have also had issues with the parents as well. His father in particular has been combative about paying for contracted scheduled holidays and my sick policy. Last week their child came down with a fever on Monday and I called them to come get him. They kept him home Tuesday & Wednesday and brought him Thursday morning without calling me to let me know how he had been doing first. Just showed up. Said that he had not had a fever for 24 hours....low and behold 6 hours pretty much on the nose he's spiked a fever of 101.6. I called mom and she had dad come and get him. Dad asked they "obviously would not be bringing him tomorrow since he's running a fever now, right?" I said, "no he can't come because it would be within 24 hours"". He made it clear that he was pretty po'ed. He "Paid a week of daycare for nothing".
On his way out the door he said that he had next week (this week) off as a vacation and if he was still sick monday he would just keep him the whole week. It didn't dawn on me till he was pulling out of the driveway what he probably meant by that. (I get paid on Monday's) Either way I'm pretty sure (without saying it) he meant that if he doesn't bring him he is not going to pay for it.
I talked to my husband and told him I was going to give them my notice. After the conversation with dad that was the final straw. My husband talked me into to seeing what would happen tomorrow rather than calling them but now I'm sitting her thinking about how this is going to go down. They are kind of shady and I can see her (instead of calling me) texting me and letting me know that he's not going to be here this week. I know if I try to call her she won't answer or respond. I pretty much want to term them tomorrow no matter what. I'm just so done with them and their crap but I'm thinking I don't really want to do it through a text or voice mail. I don't know that I will have a choice. I don't have their email either...not that I prefer to do it that way either.
And really.... you have an entire week off as a vacation and you weren't planning on spending even ONE DAY with your kid? You are just going to cart him off to daycare the entire week?! No wonder the kid is screwed up.
Anyway, if she decides to blow off my payday tomorrow, how should I approach it? If I can't get a hold of her should I just text her, "don't bring him back"? I have a feeling if I say, "What time are you bringing my paycheck tonight?" She won't respond and will tell me later that she just got caught up and work and spaced responding to me or something to that effect.
Should I just respond, "Dad made it thoroughly clear Thursday he was not happy with my sick policy, as well as (in November) for my holiday paid holiday schedule your family knowingly signed into contract and discussed with me during our interview here in July. As the contract states please ensure my pay is in my hand by 5pm today, or do not bring him back".
His parents re-united after about a month. During that time they had threatened restraining orders, ect and now they are back together and everything is "perfect" again...with the exception of their childs behavior. He is the only child that lives in his house. He has an older half sister.
He pretty much has no people skills. He does not play well. He is very rough. VERY mouthy. Talks back and mouths off to my very tall/stocky husband. Doesn't share well. (He has been here since July). He does hit, kick and push. I finally got him to stop doing this to the younger ones (1 year olds) but he still does it to the 3 year old and my son who is 5. He is SNEAAAAKY. I cannot trust this child if I am not watching him. Example, he goes to the bathroom... if he sees crackers laying on the kitchen table or counter and I am in the playroom he will sneak them. (He is the same size as my 5 year old). He knows he is not allowed in my pantry or refrigerator but he if he goes to use the bathroom he tries to get into it when I am in the playroom changing diapers, ect. His bad behavior sky rockets when the other children his age are here. If they are not...he's not actually that bad. The more kids his age I have the worse he is.
He has been pulling his pants down and sitting on the other kids for some reason. Bare butt. I have also caught him doing this during naptime... pulling his pants down. Another child sleeps in the same room. I talked to his mom about that and he stopped but he has started doing it again.
If I am cooking lunch or feeding my other infants in the kitchen I have tried to have him at the table coloring because he starts fighting with the other kids or throwing toys, running around, beating on toys, running toys into the walls, jumping on the couch, climbing on the furniture, climbing the gate at the other side of the room and taking things he is not supposed to have from the other room or taunting the other kids. (I do not have an open floor plan). He will nag and complain to no end because he doesn't want to color and he wants to go into the playroom. He spends about 1.5 hours fighting his nap. Kicks and drops his legs and arms, tosses and turns, heavy sighs all to keep himself awake. When he does sleep he is out till his parents show up around 3:30-4. It has not caused a problem with sleeping at night. He lies. His parents have brought toys back that he stole without my knowledge 3 separate times and they have not apparently talked to him about how this is wrong because "he's 3"... His mom has admitted to me that she is a push over and pretty much lets him get away with murder at home. She says that she doesn't have it in her to stand up to him and lets him mouth off to her.
The way this kid acts I see him destined for prison. He is a bully and if there is a good choice or a bad choice to make because no one is looking... about 98% of the time it will be the bad choice. Definitely a leader but very impressionistic and I think for sure he is desperate for attention.
I had a discussion about 2 weeks ago with her about his behavior and that I felt like I was not getting through to him. I have tried everything I can think of. Even goal charts. Special rewards and recognition. I feel like because most of my children are younger I cannot set aside anymore attention to him than I do that he very clearly needs. She works in management for a florist and asked me to reconsider and they will continue working with him and just to keep talking to her about how he's doing. She mentioned that with her job this was not a good time for her with Valentines Day coming up this is the worst time. I told her that I would give her two more weeks to work it out to get her through the holiday and if I didn't see any improvement at all I would give her my two week notice at that point.
I have also had issues with the parents as well. His father in particular has been combative about paying for contracted scheduled holidays and my sick policy. Last week their child came down with a fever on Monday and I called them to come get him. They kept him home Tuesday & Wednesday and brought him Thursday morning without calling me to let me know how he had been doing first. Just showed up. Said that he had not had a fever for 24 hours....low and behold 6 hours pretty much on the nose he's spiked a fever of 101.6. I called mom and she had dad come and get him. Dad asked they "obviously would not be bringing him tomorrow since he's running a fever now, right?" I said, "no he can't come because it would be within 24 hours"". He made it clear that he was pretty po'ed. He "Paid a week of daycare for nothing".
On his way out the door he said that he had next week (this week) off as a vacation and if he was still sick monday he would just keep him the whole week. It didn't dawn on me till he was pulling out of the driveway what he probably meant by that. (I get paid on Monday's) Either way I'm pretty sure (without saying it) he meant that if he doesn't bring him he is not going to pay for it.
I talked to my husband and told him I was going to give them my notice. After the conversation with dad that was the final straw. My husband talked me into to seeing what would happen tomorrow rather than calling them but now I'm sitting her thinking about how this is going to go down. They are kind of shady and I can see her (instead of calling me) texting me and letting me know that he's not going to be here this week. I know if I try to call her she won't answer or respond. I pretty much want to term them tomorrow no matter what. I'm just so done with them and their crap but I'm thinking I don't really want to do it through a text or voice mail. I don't know that I will have a choice. I don't have their email either...not that I prefer to do it that way either.
And really.... you have an entire week off as a vacation and you weren't planning on spending even ONE DAY with your kid? You are just going to cart him off to daycare the entire week?! No wonder the kid is screwed up.
Anyway, if she decides to blow off my payday tomorrow, how should I approach it? If I can't get a hold of her should I just text her, "don't bring him back"? I have a feeling if I say, "What time are you bringing my paycheck tonight?" She won't respond and will tell me later that she just got caught up and work and spaced responding to me or something to that effect.
Should I just respond, "Dad made it thoroughly clear Thursday he was not happy with my sick policy, as well as (in November) for my holiday paid holiday schedule your family knowingly signed into contract and discussed with me during our interview here in July. As the contract states please ensure my pay is in my hand by 5pm today, or do not bring him back".
kind of figured that was best. Thank you!
I honestly think they don't want to be around this child either...which is a lot of the problem I think.
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