Ex Daycare Parent Just Showing Up At Your Door

[E Daycare]

I have recently cut ties with a dcf due to scheduling conflicts as I no longer meet their needs. This was at the beginning of the new year.

Long story short, the new school year I sent out new contracts in May 2012 to let parents know I was doing just 3days a week care come the new school year. This was the norm with all my kids so I just made it official. Come the new school year a dcp tells me their backup sitter cant watch for a few weeks so I agree to take over full time. Well a few weeks became till the end of the school year in June. I did not have it and told parent in Oct they had till the new year to find care for the other two days since I would not accommodate them anymore. Dec comes and parent informs me they found care for full time since itll be cheaper so they gave me all or nothing ultimatum. I chose the nothing. Come the 1st week of the new year parent tells me they lied and they did not infact have care and can I watch for 3 days. I said sure. At the end of the week parent informed me dck would be going to a preschool full time. Ok, fine and dandy.

This week I received a text from said parent saying that the child has cried non-stop at preschool and his teacher quit (child was never the issue for me but I did re-call it taking him at least a month to stop going ape crazy at drop off. Very good child otherwise). Well I forgot to get back to the parent and what not due to a family emergency Im dealing with as Im far from home, my dh is out of town all week for work and I have had kids on my scheduled days. Its been crazy town for me (whom ever says stay at home moms arent busy dont know any).

Anyways, I cut ties with parent at the beginning of the year. I told them I no longer could meet their needs and good luck. Yeah I need to get back to the parent I guess (even though Im not obligated per our parting ways 6wks ago) but it slipped my mind and Im busy.

Today Im pretty sure the parent showed up at my door. I say pretty sure since it was crazy lunch time and I wasnt able to get to the door in time and saw the car driving away. No phone call, no text back to be like "um hey...." nada. So im peeved that someone just shows up to my house. Its rude I didnt get back to said parent but I was gearing up for an emergency trip back home (7hrs away) alone with my son and trying to make arrangements. Everything was fine and all said and done but that wasnt until yesterday.

Am I wrong to be peeved? Like didnt we part ways? Didnt I say "ok good luck with everything and it was great while it lasted"?. I feel like some people dont take into consideration that I might have a life outside my daycare and might not be able to meet their needs even after I gave them plenty of time.

This parent just rubs me the wrong way today. I bent over backwards to accommodate full time for the 1st half of the school year, then the parent tells me they find care for full time or I can do full time and when I say "ok see ya I still wont do full time" they go "ok well kiddo wont be back". Then the parent texts me telling me they "jumped the gun and dont really have care can you watch for a few days?" and I say ok (because Im nice and like the kid) but realize the parent lied to me in the first place to try and get their way. Then the parent does find a place full time and the kid is having a hard time adjusting so NOW the parent is willing to work with my schedule. NOW.

I was so frustrated. So I feel, that even if I did remember to text/call the parent back, I have no obligation to. We said our see yas and that was it. My door is not open to what is easier at the moment for them.

I felt bad for not getting back sure but then when said parent showed up un announced I got mad. This is MY time at MY house and I have MY life. Sure things arent going their way but you know what? They had 4 months to get things going their way.

Lesson learned. I hope.

/rant.

[cheerfuldom]

I absolutely understand your frustration about the past and the present issues. you dont sound 100% for sure that this was that parent at the door though, correct?

either way, i personally would suggest sending one final email (or text if you must) letting them know that you are not able to work with their family. sorry to hear that little guy is having trouble but not able to accommodate them (you dont have to give any specific reason) and good luck, hope little guy adjusts soon. if they reply asking why and offering this or that solution just reply one final time that the decision is final and non-negotiable and then ignore any further communications. because they have not heard back from the recent call, they still think there is a chance. you have to be clear that there is no chance that your daycare is an option for them. i agree that them lying about other care before is the biggest reason to not take them back.

at this point, ignoring them is making them try harder, not making them move on.

do you have to call them back? no you dont. but i suggest you do and make it clear that the answer is still no.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I like Cheerfuldom's advice. I said something similar to a parent in December and ended it with, "I'm sure he will adjust well within the next month! I wish y'all the best of luck!"

[daycarediva]

I absolutely understand your frustration about the past and the present issues. you dont sound 100% for sure that this was that parent at the door though, correct?

either way, i personally would suggest sending one final email (or text if you must) letting them know that you are not able to work with their family. sorry to hear that little guy is having trouble but not able to accommodate them (you dont have to give any specific reason) and good luck, hope little guy adjusts soon. if they reply asking why and offering this or that solution just reply one final time that the decision is final and non-negotiable and then ignore any further communications. because they have not heard back from the recent call, they still think there is a chance. you have to be clear that there is no chance that your daycare is an option for them. i agree that them lying about other care before is the biggest reason to not take them back.

at this point, ignoring them is making them try harder, not making them move on.

do you have to call them back? no you dont. but i suggest you do and make it clear that the answer is still no.

I agree!

[butterfly]

I absolutely understand your frustration about the past and the present issues. you dont sound 100% for sure that this was that parent at the door though, correct?

either way, i personally would suggest sending one final email (or text if you must) letting them know that you are not able to work with their family. sorry to hear that little guy is having trouble but not able to accommodate them (you dont have to give any specific reason) and good luck, hope little guy adjusts soon. if they reply asking why and offering this or that solution just reply one final time that the decision is final and non-negotiable and then ignore any further communications. because they have not heard back from the recent call, they still think there is a chance. you have to be clear that there is no chance that your daycare is an option for them. i agree that them lying about other care before is the biggest reason to not take them back.

at this point, ignoring them is making them try harder, not making them move on.

do you have to call them back? no you dont. but i suggest you do and make it clear that the answer is still no.

These were my thoughts as well.

And if it were that parent at the door, it doesn't mean that they were planning to drop off kids. I went back to my old provider after leaving to give her some extra garden produce that I had and I knew she could use for the kids. I had no desire to take or leave my kids there, I just wanted to be friendly. As a parent and former client, I probably should have called first, but I didn't. I just showed up and left the goods for her. I bet she was thinking WTH too when I stopped there. - Just saying the situation may not have been what you thought it was...

I would call the parent back and clarify that you can't meet their needs.

[E Daycare]

Good advice ladies! I don't want a stalker situation . We live in the same area too, talk about awkward run-ins.

See what happens when you abuse a good thing? You don't get anymore chances.

[Michelle]

do you think maybe she was getting her tax info from you so she can file her taxes?

[providerandmomof4]

I still say that you don't just "show up" at a person's door! Hello.....get the hint lady or man! ! I definitely agree that you don't owe them anything..but sounds like these people may need a definite "no thank you....again."