Another "You Don’t Always Get What You Want Question"

[justgettingstarted]

This post made me think of my DS and something I've really been struggling with, but I didn't want to hyjack. He is newly 3 yo and my dcks are all 2. He has always had a certain way of doing things and wants them done ONLY that way. I have always made an effort, during and outside daycare hours, to impress on him that things can be done differently and that people can choose what/how they do things while he can choose for himself (as long as he makes appropriate choices of course). He just cannot seem to help himself, he tells them what to play "I'm going to play trains, you go play kitchen Emma", he tells them how to play "Conner tear the paper THEN glue it!", he constantly reports to me what they are doing "Mommy Sophia isn't eating her blueberries first!". It. Is. Constant!!!!! He is not mean or overly whiney about it though.

Because the other kids are younger and he has established himself as the leader they often listen to him and do what he says even if they don't want to. It drives me crazy because I dont want the others to feel like they dont have freedom to make their own choices and because I dont want him to be bossyat preschool (which he just started) or throughout life. Is this something life will take care of when he's among same age peers or is there something more I can do to help him understand?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Once they become 3 and develop a little bit more independence, I can guarantee that they won't follow his every direction.

I have a 5-year-old that attends here that is like this. Occasionally, the kids will do as he says. Most of the time he is ignored though. ::
If it was my own child, I'd tell them, "Please leave Connor alone. He can do it by himself."

[cheerfuldom]

I think the dynamic will change once you daycare kids get older and now that your child is in preschool (and no longer top dog!)

[Starburst]

Whenever you hear him trying to tell the other kids what to play or "micro-manage" them; try saying:

"She can play with whatever game she wants."
"You may be older then them; but you are not the adult. I am the adult and I say it is okay."
"They are able to make their own choices, and they are making good choices"

And when all else fails their is always the
"You are not the boss of them"
"You are not their ________ (mom/dad/teacher)"
"Just let them be (or 'leave them alone') and go play"
or the classic:
"Lets mind our own business and focus on _______" fill in the blank with: the word 'you', the child's name (reffering to them in 3rd person), or name of an activity you are doing.

[Hunni Bee]

"Its your choice where you play. It's Emma's choice where Emma plays."

"Its your choice what you eat first. Its Sophia's choice what Sophia eats first."

Rinse, repeat x 100.

[LoraJenkins]

I have the same issue with tattling...it is CONSTANT! Usually I just reply "Now so-and-so, remember you are not the boss." It sometimes works but it DOES get old after a while hearing that all day.