Teaching A Child They Don't Always Get What They Want...

[WImom]

Any tips? I have a DCB that all day long whines if he doesn't get something he wants. Tells kids he hates them if they don't do what he wants, etc. He also agrues with everyone. We could say it's sunny out and he will agrue it's cloudy just to agrue.
He is 3.5y old. Is this just his personality or can I fix this? It's driving me batty! I feel I've tried so many things but it's been 4 months now and it has only gotten worse.

[cheerfuldom]

i handle constant grumpy/whining the same way as excessive crying. they go to the cry corner "chill out spot" until they are ready to join the group with a change in attitude. no time limit...they just sit there till they choose to change their attitude and come and play. they get sent back if they come out and do not have a change in attitude. we also have the rule "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"

[blessed mom]

i handle constant grumpy/whining the same way as excessive crying. they go to the cry corner "chill out spot" until they are ready to join the group with a change in attitude. no time limit...they just sit there till they choose to change their attitude and come and play. they get sent back if they come out and do not have a change in attitude. we also have the rule "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all"

I do the same thing but I would like to also add that EVERY time this child does have a good attitude I make a BIG deal over it. Soon the child who got attention by being negative is now getting attention for being good. I have one who now says "look I am sharing...or I am being nice" and they get a big fuss for such behavior.

[countrymom]

I do the same. Sometimes they just need time to think about thier actions.

[jokalima]

I do 2 things, I have my crying/quiet corner with pictures of children with diff emotions, I send them there if they are having problems with the group or even if they are crying for no apparent reason and won't let me help them. I have a 3 yr old that know that when she gets upset because of anything that happens w/ other kids or because does not gets her way, she'll start crying running towards quiet corner and stay there until she calms down, does this w/out me telling her to. Now, it does not always work for me, but I started a prize box, and I've read diff. opinions on this but so far it has turn out good. On top of the box I have a the behavior forecast chart http://kids.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Pres...ehavior_Charts
and I have pictures of them to use with it, they know how it works and I give them warnings, with every warning I tell them they will loose their prize and being able to look at where their face is at the chart helps them be more aware of their behavior.I have to say, 2 days since I started this my difficult child has not get a prize happyface, this is very good coming from her, but when she does not get one I have to prepare mentally for departure, is very bad because she still wants her prize ( 5 yr old and the other one is 3.5 ) I talked to mom and explained to her that it was going to be difficult at first but that it was something I really wanted to try. I also use the sticker chart in the same link, I stand next to them and let them put happy faces next to what they did during that day, if they have a happy face in all of the boxes they will get a big sticker that day. This 2 things help me talk constantly about expected behaviors with them.

It seems to be working well with my kids over 3 so I will keep using it and see how it keeps going.