Family Withheld Information

[cheerfuldom]

Supper Nanny the kids! Tantrums can go away with consistency. It's a just a thought...

I disagree. while things could be better with time and consistency, austistic or special needs kids are a whole different ball game. there is no reason why the OP should feel like she has to keep a child that is very delayed (from the sounds of it) and further, keep a family when the mom knew good and well that she was misrepresenting her childs needs. PLUS the younger one is quite demanding on their own.

I would term because even if this boy gets a diagnosis and services immediately, it could be months before a therapy plan is in place and before you see progress. I would let the mom know that you cannot meet her children's needs right now and your program is not the right fit. I would provide a print out of resources for free special needs evaluations (practically ever place in America has this type of service) and let her know that you recommend that she be up front with her next provider about what her kids will need while in daycare.

also, do you know why they were even looking for care? perhaps the kids already got kicked out of other places?

[blessed mom]

Wow! That is really a sad outlook on parents. It sounds as if you are pretty jaded based on maybe some bad experiences you have had, I don't know....but I would never make such a generalized sweeping statement that all parents with kids over 6 months lie to their providers. :confused:

I think the relationship you have with your clients has as much to do with you as it does them. If you set clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning there leaves little room for lying and dishonesty.

I also disagree with the statement that most parents are in denial about their child.

Most parents I have had in care are genuinely concerned about their child and his/her development. Most parents I have had in care form an honest open trusting relationship with me so that we can rest assured that we are both on the same page and doing what is best for the child.

I have had a few who were in denial or refused to seek services or additional help based on observations I had made and brought up but those parents are pretty rare and don't come along very often. Atleaset not in my experience so far.

I am sorry you have had to deal with so many clients that are so dishonest. I can see how that would make this job really hard.
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OP~ I understand that you feel lied to but unless this mom has had her child assessed AND diagnosed, she is only suspecting autism. It doesn't mean the child does have it. Like a PP said, his behavior could have to do with parental routines with discipline and family life. It could be due to something environmental or developmental too.

If I were you, I would personally just be honest with the parent and tell them you do not feel you have the ability to provide the type of care that the child requires. Whether that is due to simple behavior issues or autism doesn't matter....what matters is he is requiring MORE attention and care than what is considered normal for a 4 yr old and you are unable to do that.

It may force the parent to have her suspicions checked out. Either way, there is NOTHING wrong with saying you are just not equipped to deal with his needs. Don't make it about autism (as that could be considered discriminatory) just make it about his needs in general.

Good luck, this kind of thing is hard but good foryou for recognizing that this situation is just more than you want to deal with.

Agree...none of my parents have lied to me about their children, but I have a two week trial just in case.