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[hope]

I have been watching a one yr old for a few months now. When interviewing with DCM I let her know that I will be taking on a newborn in a few months. I don't "fill spots". Daycare is expensive in my area so I like to only take on a few kids and charge a little more for the extra attention. I told DCM that i would keep the group small but still plan on taking more than just her child and the newborn so kids can socialize. She asked for oa number and i wouldn't commit to an amount of kids I planned on taking. I just assured her I would keep group small and be very particular with whom I would take on.
Fast forward to today.....I just signed on twin 2 yr olds that will be FT starting next month when the newborn starts. The twins were reffered by her but for only one day a week on a temporary basis. Their provider fell through and she signed on here FT.
Now the one yr olds DCM is upset that her kid will not be the only child in my care. She made comments like "I want all attention on my child but what can i do" and its going to be really hard on you with all these extra kids but good for your business right". I really like this mom but couldn't find the words to assure her this is a good thing for her kid. Her child needs to socialize with other kids and is so much happier on days other kids are here. And although I charge a little more for keeping a small group I am four times less expensive than nannys around here. I can't afford to only watch her child on the pay she pays me.
So tomorrow I would like to talk to her about this instead of pretending I don't notice her passive aggressive comments. I am not good at confrontations. What do i say?

[SquirrellyMama]

I wouldn't try and sell her on it as being better for her child. You can help a toddler socialize by going to the library, park, play dates and other field trips without adding kids to your program. I would directly address her passive aggressive comments instead. It is your business and you have the right to add on more kids.

I would in the future give an idea of what a small group is to you. Everyone has different ideas about what that means. You don't have to give specific numbers, just a range.

K

[coolconfidentme]

I have posted what my license allows & I tell the parents I will never exceed my licensing requirements & refer to the posted chart. I ask them if they have any specific questions they need answered & address them. I try not to be vague so there isn’t any misunderstanding. I know your situation is different, but I think if a parent fails to ask specifics about your program they really can't get upset when the situation changes a tad.

[Play Care]

In the future I would be leary of telling parents that you keep numbers low as a benefit to them. Then they seem to think they have a say anytime you add children to your program. Over the years I've learned that their are some policies that I have in my head (I prefer not to take infants, but don't a outright policy in case I can/want/need to take one on, etc.) and don't necessarily need to be shared
I agree with the pp, I would not make any more comments or try to "beg" mom to see things your way. If she makes a comment about it, ignore or find a simple, pleasant comment "yes, it's been wonderful! The children really enjoy having friends to play with!" and be a broken record. Good Luck!

[mbullette]

I can't stand parents like that. Tell her if she wants her child to have one on one then she should stay home or hire a nanny. What is she going to do when her child goes to school and she is one of 20-30 kids in the class?

[hope]

Thanks for all the advise. I see what everyone means about being vague and how that can lead to misunderstandings. When i was vague about how many more kids i would take and she kept pressing for a definite answer I should have known this would b an issue. This morning at drop off she made comments under her breath. When I said "I'm sorry, i didnt hear you" she just ignored me. I like this mom and her child and it seems childish not to have a talk if something is bothering her. I dont want to spend everyday like this.

[hope]

This child is not allowed to be driven anywhere while here. She made this very clear ehen she signed on. She can only go for walks or play in my yard. That's fine for me since she is a teachers child and i can pick up n go early in the day when she is dropped off. But she will not be able to socialize here unless other kids are signed on. She needs a nanny but most people can not or will not pay for such services.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Seriously??? You aren't a nanny. I DOUBT you are being paid $10+ an hour by her. Build a bridge and get over it DCM.

The next time a comment was said I would bluntly say, "It seems like you aren't happy with our arrangement here and I think you should look into hiring a nanny. Please remember you are required to give a written 2 weeks notice when withdrawing from my program. Thank you! "

[SquirrellyMama]

This child is not allowed to be driven anywhere while here. She made this very clear ehen she signed on. She can only go for walks or play in my yard. That's fine for me since she is a teachers child and i can pick up n go early in the day when she is dropped off. But she will not be able to socialize here unless other kids are signed on. She needs a nanny but most people can not or will not pay for such services.

I'm fortunate to live near the library but I would never agree to not transport a child. I must be able to go places or I'd go nuts

K

[countrymom]

I too have to make sure that kids are allowed to be transported, with 4 kids in school you never know when your going to have to make a trip to the school. I'm surprised the mom wouldn't want her child to be socialized considering she's a teacher.

[hope]

I dont mind staying in with this one child. Pick up is at 3:30 so that leaves me plenty of time to go out. I don't watch for the summer and that is when i do all my day trips. It would be nice to be able to take DCC out but it is a huge liability anyways.

[hope]

I too have to make sure that kids are allowed to be transported, with 4 kids in school you never know when your going to have to make a trip to the school. I'm surprised the mom wouldn't want her child to be socialized considering she's a teacher.

My own are in school and if they need to be picked up than my hubby has to go. It can be an issue at times.

[My3cents]

When we first start out we often don't know what kind of clients and issues we are willing to deal with. We say things because at the time it is how we feel. Most people start out small, find out that the money is good and then want more kids. Your business run it how you choose-

[CedarCreek]

Seriously??? You aren't a nanny. I DOUBT you are being paid $10+ an hour by her. Build a bridge and get over it DCM.

The next time a comment was said I would bluntly say, "It seems like you aren't happy with our arrangement here and I think you should look into hiring a nanny. Please remember you are required to give a written 2 weeks notice when withdrawing from my program. Thank you! "

hahaha! I'm dying @ build a bridge. ::

But seriously,I would do this too, op.

[allsmiles]

i agree you should have the conversation, it doesnt have to be bad.. maybe even an email LOL yes im a scaredy i LOOVVEEE emails and with most parents its enough.
Something nice and easy like you've seen her concern about the growing attendance at the daycare, but you assure her that you will still able to provide quality care in this group setting. I have encouraged parents that social interaction is good for the child's development.. so i dont see anything wrong with adding that
you are not saying its mandatory, but you are letting her know it will not be a hindrance

i had a parent that switched her child from daycare to me BECAUSE the daycare center got more kids in the 2 year old class.. I let her know that I would be keeping at the very least 6 children at any time even though we only had one when she started.
she was hesitant but she signed on.. every once and a while she is curious as to the "personality" of a new child but i just wave it off and let he know we are all having a great time.. she also does not allow her child to be transported.. he is 2 yrs old..

another parent i had to email her about her concern with how many babies we had.. she was making comments about her son not having anyone his age and he was showing "babyish behavior" (he is three)

all of that is to say that as your program changes, parents are gonna have their little concerns and it is best just to address them, reassure the parent if you can, and let them know to talk with you if they have any other concerns.. i like to encourage communication with my business..