Not Business Related, But Would Love Suggestions, Opinions...

[Unregistered]

I'm registered but prefer to be logged out this time.

I have a 3 years old son, that for the most part is sweet, very caring, and not very defiant. He LOVES to play with other kids, and absolutely adores his neighbor friend who is almost 7.
But I've been going through some issues lately with this child and I have an hard time dealing with it because I'm a good friend with his Mom, and we help each other out a lot with the kids when we need.
Simply said this kid most of the times is arrogant, disrespectful, and spoiled. He has very short temper, and react very aggressively if something doesn't work out the way he wants (i.e. last time he was here he couldn't get a toy to work and before asking for help, he threw the toy across the room grunting and yelling...).

He never says please or thank you, and he gets VERY upset if I said something to him that he doesn't like (i.e. one time I told him that if he didn't stop jumping on the couch he was going to sit on the floor until his Mom came - he got very angry and cussed me out and sat with a grumpy look on his face for 30 minutes).

Recently his Mom even told me about a huge fight they had one morning where he yelled at her (he is not even 7 yet!).When she faked that she was crying from being upset, to see if he had a reaction, this kid told her to stop crying. She told me that she was surprised that her own kid has no compassion for others whatsoever (it is true) and she felt like he talked to her the same way a bossy verbally abusive husband would do....

Now I have to honestly say that I don't like this kid for the way he behaves, and I hate that when he is around my son he treats him badly, always bossing him around, yelling at him for not playing like he wants him to play (my son is 3) and just for being his arrogant, aggressive self.

Every time he is at my house I have to discipline him for the way he behaves towards my son, and the other kids when they are here at the same time. The other day the 18 months old DCG I have, took apart part of the train track on the train table (no one was playing with it). This kid was sitting by the table and when he saw the baby grabbing the pieces (of my toys!!!) he very roughly took them out of her hands grunting, and being mad because she took apart the track. The baby freaked out and started to cry. I was nearby playing with the toddlers, and it happened in a matter of seconds in front of my eyes.

I disciplined him right away and told him to sit in the living room until it was time for him to go home (next door). He again, got very angry, and on the way to the living room he violently kicked a toy that was on his way.

Even after explaining many times to him that babies and toddlers don't/can't play the way he wants them to play because they are still too little, he still couldn't control himself...

I don't like to have this kid around my son when he behaves like that, I feel bad for my son for being treated like that by an almost 7 years old that have very little feelings for others, and an obvious problem in managing anger.

I'm concerned that his Mom doesn't see that behavior as something to be worry about it; I have my hands tied; I have attempted several times to discretely point out behaviors and attitudes that I didn't like, but she always reply that "that's an hard age to deal with"...

Omg, how is going to be when he is 15 displaying that behavior??

She's my next door neighbor and with my husband being gone (military) I do ask her for help in watching my son several times a month. She is a single Mom, and she does the same. We just try to help each other, however now it got to a point where I'm dreading the times when this child comes over to my house.

I know many 6 and 7 years old that are nice, sweet caring little people that are a pleasure to have around. With this guy is like walking on a thin line, waiting for the moment where he will snap into anger mode...

Is it really the age, or this kid truly have some attitude issues?

[Unregistered]

If this child is this aggressive at your house, I would have to imagine he's even worse in his own house, especially if his mom is making excuses for him. She has told you of some of his behaviors, so she obviously sees them yet chooses to ignore them. I would be concerned about what is going on when your child is at his house.
I understand your need for help with your son, but if it was me, I'd be looking for other options.
It doesn't sound as though it's just his age that is the problem and as you said, if he's like this now, how's he going to be years from now.

[kitykids3]

If the mom is your friend, do you not feel comfortable talking to her about getting him some help? She must know he needs some if she's even been mentioning problems. Maybe you two can work together to find out how to get him some. That is not the age. He has an issue with his emotions and it needs to be nipped in the bud asap before somebody gets really hurt. (If he will kick a toy violently, who's to say a person, maybe even the toddler, won't be next?).

[nanglgrl]

Please don't leave your son alone with this child. There is nothing you can do if your friend does not see that her child has a problem. If I were you I would let her know that her son's behavior isn't appropriate and that you can no longer watch him. If you want to help you could suggest counseling or even get her some pamphlets but please keep your son close. There is a chance you will lose your friendship but I would give up every single one of my friends if the safety of one of my children was at risk. I know it sounds harsh but lacking compassion and having obvious problems with anger/frustration is a huge deal.

[Kaddidle Care]

"Charlie" can only come over to play if his Mom is home. If he acts up, he goes home immediately. Make sure he knows this as soon as he comes over to play. Tell him your rules - No cursing, No hitting, No throwing, No sassing. They learn pretty quickly what you will tolerate and what you won't.