What Do You Do With A Kid Like This?

[Lorna]

I have a 15 month old that is so difficult. I am not sure if he is really stubborn or what it is. Spoiled might be what it is. When he wakes up he screams. If he falls on his bum from standing he screams. If I wipe his nose or face he screams and scratches me. If he is in the highchair he kicks me when I wipe his face. He knows how to walk but refuses to walk into the kitchen for meals. He is really really heavy. I tried letting him miss snacks. So stubborn would not get up to come in the kitchen. I had to just keep telling him come on get up and walk him in by his hand. Most of the time crying and screaming. It would not be so bad if it was a little scream but he is full out screaming. Its so loud. He started here in October and none of these things have gotten better. Today I showed the kids how to pick up the toys and put away. The other kids no problem. Just needed a little encouragement. This child ignored me as I was speaking. As I was asking him to pick up the toy he is turning his head and looking at the tv. Turn the tv off. I kept saying can you please pick up the doll. I pointed right at it. He just screams and screams. I put his hand on it, he screams. I use my hands and get his hands on the toy and pick it up and put it in the toybox and he screams and screams.

This is the same kid I posted about before and the mom would bring the child with food all over his face. Which she still does on and off. By snack time and I have to wipe the child and food is so dried on that the poor kid is getting marks on his face. Last week he had a runny nose and everytime I wiped it he screamed. By the end of the day when she came to pick him up I was not in a good mood. I told her outright you have to keep wiping his face all the time. She just does not get that if she just does not do it because he screams it is just making it impossible for me.

[frugalmama4]

First thing first...and I'm speaking to myself on this one too.

Grow a back bone! We as providers go through a lot of class room/online training's...not to mention all the kiddos that pass through our doors "hands on training". We are professional's and should be looked at as so...when you give a parent advice on how to stop/control a behavior...it's because you know what your talking about.

If mom brings him in dirty one more time...she gets her walking papers...Period. Your handbook should out line that. Second-implement a trial period as well as a adjustment period (three weeks)...it takes 21 consecutive days to adjust/break a habit. How do your kids get ready for lunch? we line up here..if this kid don't get in line...he don't eat...15mo he understands line up for lunch.

My suggestions- if you wanna continue care
Since he has been with you for a while...it will look
un-professional to call the parents in now and say "he's not adjusting" you need an escape goat. I would go with something alone these lines..."We have made a few changes/adjustments to our daily routine as well as the expectations of our growing toddlers. Then I would go into detail on some of...if not all his behavior issues.

I'm sure someone else on here will help with the wording and how to bring it all up.

Good Luck!

[Heidi]

Have a box of wipes by the door. When he comes in, if his face is dirty, say "oh...here are the wipes".

My 16 mo is not a fan of the face washing, either. Try involving him in the process, and giving some warning. "I am going to put your plate away, and then we will wash your hands and face". then "Now, give me your right hand" (wash it) "thank you". "Now your left" (wash it) "thank you" "Ok...now here comes the part you don't like..." Give him a wash cloth to try it himself. Most of mine wash the table then, but hey.

I would invite him to the table, and if he doesn't come, then take his hand gently and lead him. Kind voice..."it's time to eat now, I will help you to the table". If he balks and screams, I'd walk him back away, and say "when you are done crying, you can come to the table". If he misses a meal or two, I'll bet he will catch on!

Firm but kind...

You might want to institute a crying spot. Cozy spot where if someone is feeling bad, they can go to cry. Gently lead him there, say "you are crying. This is the crying spot. You can come back and play when you are done".

[MN Mom]

you need an escape goat.
Good Luck!

I'm not picking on you or trying to be the spelling master (because I'm not) but this part made me laugh soooooo hard this morning.

Captain Picard of Star Trek: "Man the escape goats and prepare for saucer separation!"

I'm a big dork...I know. Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!

[Crystal]

Well, I think he is 15 months old and your expectation of him following directions of cleaning up are VERY unrealistic. I suggest you give it more time, while YOU and the other children model cleaning up for him. Eventually he will understand.....he clearly doesn't now.

If he comes in dirty, either have Mom wash his face or do it immediately yourself so you are not having the issue of having to scrub dried food off of his face later.....which I feel is just mean, btw and may really be contributing to him not wanting to be wiped at all.....scrubbing his face likely HURTS and he now fears being washed up at all.

I think you need to really reconsider what is developmentally appropriate and realize that you are expecting a lot frmm a 15 month old.