Love This Child, But In Her Own World

[kitykids3]

I have a dcg who is 4. I've had her for 3 years.

Lately I have become quite frustrated because she does not listen.
It's not the type of 'not listening' that is spiteful or outright defiance, it is more like she is not hearing me or in her own little world where no one else exists except for what she is thinking about.

Perhaps it could be that it is her way of being defiant, selective hearing, but I just don't know how to get through to her. I've talked with mom and dad at conference, but I think they are more the type to be friends with their kids.
If I don't get them ready to go before pick up time, I'll sit there and watch dcd ask them 5 times to get their stuff on. Mom does the same thing, but she does it in a sing song voice.

This AM I told her to watch out for the baby and 30 seconds later she trips and falls on her. In her own world.

As everyone is laying down, I tell her it is quiet time, she needs to be quiet (she was singing while washing her hands and the only one awake). 30 seconds later she's at it again. Like nothing sticks.

I've usually got loads of ideas for children that can be difficult, but after months of this, I'm at a loss. :confused: Her hearing has been tested and is fine.
And it isn't like it is necessarily stuff that would be considered for a time out, unless I just start putting her in time out for not listening. On occasion I do, but when asked why she was put there, 90% of the time she says she doesn't know (even though I told her 3 minutes earlier).

I'm kind of at a loss and at this point sad to say I am kind of glad she is growing out of my program in the fall. Supposedly she has no problems at her Montessori school. I care about her a lot and she really is a sweet girl, and can be quite compassionate, but I don't know what to do with nothing that sticks. KWIM? I've never had another child like this. It's like the 2 year olds, if you ask them something, but they don't know what you're talking about.

[nanglgrl]

This sounds like my 11 year old daughter and she has ADD. My 4 year old daughter can remember stuff better than my 11 year old! I'm not saying that's what it is with your little one but that's how my daughter has been since she was about 3-4 years old. I used to have lists on the front door, her bedroom door and the bathroom so she would remember to do things but then she would forget to look at the lists.
She's very creative, not hyper, does wonderful in school and is very smart but she even forgets to wear socks in the winter if I don't remind her. I've asked, "don't you realize you don't have socks on when you put your boots on?" and the answer is no because she's in her own world.

[Starburst]

This sounds like my 11 year old daughter and she has ADD. My 4 year old daughter can remember stuff better than my 11 year old! I'm not saying that's what it is with your little one but that's how my daughter has been since she was about 3-4 years old. I used to have lists on the front door, her bedroom door and the bathroom so she would remember to do things but then she would forget to look at the lists.
She's very creative, not hyper, does wonderful in school and is very smart but she even forgets to wear socks in the winter if I don't remind her. I've asked, "don't you realize you don't have socks on when you put your boots on?" and the answer is no because she's in her own world.

Lol when I was reading the OP, I was just thinking that she could have ADD or ADHD. These disorders are usually overlooked more in girls because their behavior tends to not be as "disruptive" or "over-the-top" as boys with ADD/ADHD usually display. Some times it makes it harder to focus or concentrate and sometimes gets misdiagnosed as "daydreaming". That might also explain why she does well in a montessori school because it tends to be more one-on-one based learning and give them more than enough time to focus on one piece of work.

[itlw8]

welcome to my world... that was ds and now dgd. ADD dgd has not been diagnosed yet but we have all the signs in kindergarten. walk over and touch her lightly. she problably did not hear or process what you said. Have her repeat it helps sometime.

[kitykids3]

I've thought of the possibility of ADHD a few times as it seems it doesn't get better and it's been going on for like a year. I've already referred the other daughter for speech and would hate to make them feel bad by referring this one for possible help too. Plus, isn't she too young for it? I tell the parents all the time and mom works in the psych dept at the university. She knows about this stuff.