The "N" Word

[jokalima]

I understand he is to little to understand but his parents are not, they should be educated and if it has to be by the DC director then it has to be that way then. They don't understand that by talking like this in front of his child a big mess can be created, what if another AA family that does not use this word heard the white boy saying that to their child? Like I said, messy situations can be avoided and this is one of those situations where it can.

[Bookworm]

I dont know waht that is? a movie? a bad one I am assuming...

It's a Quentin Tarentino film so it's ultra violent, full of adult language. Jamie Foxx plays a freed slave turned bounty hunter trying to rescue his wife who was sold to another owner.

[Bookworm]

I understand he is to little to understand but his parents are not, they should be educated and if it has to be by the DC director then it has to be that way then. They don't understand that by talking like this in front of his child a big mess can be created, what if another AA family that does not use this word heard the white boy saying that to their child? Like I said, messy situations can be avoided and this is one of those situations where it can.

I don't want to imagine the fall out from that situation. In my state, it would probably make the news and the parents run out of the center. This is why I stress to parents to be mindful of what you say around children.

[Willow]

The issue of it being ok for AA's to say it and no one else is in and of itself racist. It's a massive and quite disgusting double standard.

Amongst a handful of my foster families the mentality of "we earned the right to use that word now but no one else should" blew my mind. My favorite was, if an AA family beat a child within an inch of their life it was automatically assumed there was a cultural misunderstanding as far as acceptable discipline practices go and they were afforded many MANY more chances to reunify than the Caucasian family who did the same thing and simply "should have known better."

BULL.

What drives me nuts is crap like that is the opposite of progress as far as racial equality goes. Same goes for junk double standard positions like racial profiling is wrong, but affirmative action isn't.


Anything that is ok for one group but isn't for another, or is deemed appropriate for one group while coming at the expense of another is the very definition of discrimination.



OP - I'm glad they're gone. If they see nothing wrong with their child hearing, seeing or learning garbage like that guaranteed things would have just continued to go downhill for the child and the rest of the group would have suffered for it. Let them whine to the county, it's obvious they're the ones in the wrong here and that should come through plain as day. I am glad you had good sense not to let is just slide.

[Starburst]

Some parents are really clueless

I would have told the other little boy that "Billy" is using the wrong word and that that word is a word meant to put people down- If you look it up in the dictionary it means "an uneducated or ignorant person" as well as a racial slur. I listened to rap music (Dr.Dre, 50 Cent, D12) when I grew up (still do occationally) which always said that word but I was also about 10 when I started really listening to music and I never used that word, because I was old/mature enough to understand that it is not a good word to say no matter what color you are; but especually if you are white. I had white and hispanic friends and my brother (also white) who would say that word and I would tell them "I don't like that word- Don't use it when you are around me". My boyfriend also says it sometiems because he grew up in Stockton and heard it alot but I told him he needs to stop saying that word and he doesn't say it as much (at least not around me).

Some parents I think just do not value how smart their younger children really are and how easily they pick up on things- even on the radio. My cousin onetime was driving with me and her nephew in the car and she was listening to a song by Katie Perry called "I wanna see your Pea****" and her nephew was only 2 at the time and theres a part when they only chant the last part of "Pea****" and he started singing that part and once she heard him say that she changed songs Immediately.

At one daycare I used to work at a little boy and his family were going to Disneyland that weekend and he was in the TV room with the other older kids (5+) because it was still nap time and about 10 minutes before his dad came in he was telling another kid about a joke he heard on TV the night before and dropped the F-Bomb. Another little boy ran and told the teachers and he started crying because he didn't want to get in trouble. The teahers knew he was sorry and weren't even going to mention it to his dad or the DCP because they knew he was really scared and wouldn't do it again (he is normally a really sweet and kind kid) but then when the DCP and his dad showed up he started crying hystarically and saying sorry alot- I think he was more afraid that the provider wouldn't want him there anymore than getting in trouble with his parents. The provider just told him not to use that word anymore and gave him a hug.

I also don't like the J word, because I heard it alot growing up and its a hispanic version of the N word- Its another word they call Latino people working in fields. Thats why I don't really like that "I got the moves like Jagger" song- though I am aware it is a reference to Mick Jagger.

Too bad even though we are mandated reporters who must report parents if we suspect abuse or neglect; we can't report parents for ignorants and spreading hateful words/beliefs to young children. If the parents really want to listen to that kinda music they shouldn't listen to it when their kids are around or at the very least get a clean version of the song without any badwords. I also wouldn't accept stupid, dumb, ugly, fat, or any other putdown words and tell children that people only use those words when they aren't creative (or smart) enough to find better words.

[Unregistered]

African American or American

How about we lose the African American term and we just all be Americans that don't use that word?

[daycare]

Huh I don't understand how this relates to the post at all?

I do agree with what you are saying about all being equal American but that's is not what this is about.

[Starburst]

Huh I don't understand how this relates to the post at all?

I do agree with what you are saying about all being equal American but that's is not what this is about.

They are saying that they believe the focus is too much on the race of the individuals using this word and not the fact that they are just people ("Americans") who happen to be saying a word that degrates a certain race, that they happen to be. I think they were basically saying that it's a form of labling, seperating, or targeting a specific group and making them seem different from another group because that word shouldn't be okay for anyone to say.

[snips&snails]

I'm still confused-:confused:.

The original pp said he uses it as a term of enderment (doesn't that mean love/kindess), knows what it means and uses it correctly. This is where I"m confused-how can he be doing the above and be doing it wrongly.

I guess I'm really confused on knowing what it means and using it correctly if in his culture it is a term of enderment. In our eyes its wrong but in his culture its excepted. I guess I would think they would think it is wrong also if they were offended by it but obvioulsy they don't.

Am I really out in left field or does anyone understand what I'm trying to say but can't get it typed out correctly.

I am not sure here which is more culturally insensitive - allowing the use of the word, or NOT allowing a child use a term that is accepted in his culture!!!This is certainly a can of worms

[Unregistered]

I am not sure here which is more culturally insensitive - allowing the use of the word, or NOT allowing a child use a term that is accepted in his culture!!!This is certainly a can of worms

What culture? Are you saying America does not have a culture or that there are those that will not accept that culture? This is confusing to me. There shouldn't be an alternate culture or alternate America. When you write; "NOT allowing a child use a term that is accepted in his culture", it serves both those who are racists and those that see themselves as different. It keeps us divided.

I'm sure the KKK is perfectly fine with a "culture" that separates itself from America, even though that culture has just as much right to call themselves Americans. When will African Americans just call themselves American? Aren't we ALL from other countries?

[Country Kids]

I am not sure here which is more culturally insensitive - allowing the use of the word, or NOT allowing a child use a term that is accepted in his culture!!!This is certainly a can of worms

See this is what I have been thinking about and trying to write in previous posts. You worded it right on!

[daycarediva]

The issue of it being ok for AA's to say it and no one else is in and of itself racist. It's a massive and quite disgusting double standard.

Amongst a handful of my foster families the mentality of "we earned the right to use that word now but no one else should" blew my mind. My favorite was, if an AA family beat a child within an inch of their life it was automatically assumed there was a cultural misunderstanding as far as acceptable discipline practices go and they were afforded many MANY more chances to reunify than the Caucasian family who did the same thing and simply "should have known better."

BULL.

What drives me nuts is crap like that is the opposite of progress as far as racial equality goes. Same goes for junk double standard positions like racial profiling is wrong, but affirmative action isn't.


Anything that is ok for one group but isn't for another, or is deemed appropriate for one group while coming at the expense of another is the very definition of discrimination.



OP - I'm glad they're gone. If they see nothing wrong with their child hearing, seeing or learning garbage like that guaranteed things would have just continued to go downhill for the child and the rest of the group would have suffered for it. Let them whine to the county, it's obvious they're the ones in the wrong here and that should come through plain as day. I am glad you had good sense not to let is just slide.

[Binkybobo]

" He will call his friends this as a term of endearment (common in the AA community). "

Get for real this term is not ok in the Black commmunity. Only in the ghetto community. Not having your facts straight can be offensive. It's the rappers giving a whole community of people a bad name. That word is not ok, and the majority of black people do not use it. Don't try to speak for others and that it is a disgusting double standard. This is a word used by racists and ignorant wanna be and actual gang bangers. Issue at hand how to get the chid to stop. Leave your innacurate, offensive opinions to yourself.

Source:BLACK

[Binkybobo]

I have always hated that word, and never thought it was ok for anyone to say it. Everyone around me knows that to be true. I find it offensive that people who are no black can paint a picture of what is ok in my community. Just talk to the parents and try to figure out how to get the little boy to stop.

[daycarediva]

For the past 2 weeks, we have been having issues with a 4yr old African-American DCB using the "N" word. He will call his friends this as a term of endearment (common in the AA community). This is all day every day and he knows how to use it and several curse words in the proper context. He knows exactly what he's saying and what it means. We have had talk after talk with DCPS and they always respond with, We don't talk like that at home" or "I don't know where he learned that from". Well, i know exactly where he learned it from. The music that they blast in parking lot twice a day, the overheard phone conversations in the parking lot where every third word was a curse word or the "N" word, and the fact that DCB told me that he went to the movies to see Jamie Foxx (Django Unchained). My Director flat out told them that if this continues, they will have to find other care for DCB. We don't want any of the other children picking up that nasty habit.

Well guess what happened this morning? Another DCP came in mad as h*** telling my Director that her son (who is white) said that all of his school friends were his "N". She questioned him about where he learned that word and he told her that Billy calls everybody that because it means friend.

The parents were immediately called and told to come pick him up and find other care for him because he is not allowed back. They rant and rave about us being racist (I'm black by the way) and we kicked him out because they are black and they are calling DSS to report us and they're going to sue us for discrimination.

Of all the things I've dealt with over the past 17 yrs in childcare, this is an absolute first for me. What shocks me the most is that they didn't think anything was wrong with his potty mouth.

So is the op Binkybobo