2 Year Old Crys About Everything

[E72]

Hi! I am taking care of a 2 year old boy who cries about almost everything and I don't know what to do. He gets dropped off and everything is fine until you try to interact with him. I usually need to change him, as he frequently shows up with a full diaper and the same clothes on as the day before. I say, "come on, lets go change your diaper", and he says no and starts crying. He doesn't get breakfast at home, so I need to feed him. Ask him if he wants anything, cereal, yogurt, banana, etc., he says no and starts crying. Even if I don't ask and just put something in front of him, he starts crying. Ask him if he wants to get out some toys, he says no and starts crying. The other kids play and if they try to get him to play with them he says no and cries. All he really does is stand and stare. His mom say he just might need extra love and affection, but if I pick him up he says "down" and cries. Today he got dropped off with his favorite truck. He is not paying it any attention. Ask him if he wants to play with it and he cries. The other kids tried to play with it and he went nuts crying and pushing them away from it. Now it is just sitting there and he is standing and staring again calmly. What can I do to help him or should I just leave him alone?

[sunlight]

So so sorry you are dealing with this. I do know how hard and frustrating for you and for the child constant crying can be. Is this a new family you are working with? If so, you might just need to let the child be. Let him cry till he is ready to stop. Sometimes just getting out a pillow and blanket and laying them down after a bit might help stop the crying. If this is a family you have been working with for a while maybe this means something at home is changing. All I know is sometimes kids cry just to cry. Other times they might just be tired, not feeling, well or just plain don't know what they want.

Just hang in there! If the crying is too much for the others and you lay the child in a room close by and keep a watchful eye on them. Eventually the crying will stop.

[E72]

I have tried to lay him down, even lay down with him. This only leads to even more hysterical crying and screaming. His mom says he only takes naps when they drive around for a while in the car.

[E72]

Need advice please

Hi! I am taking care of a 2 year old boy who cries about almost everything and I don't know what to do. He gets dropped off and everything is fine until you try to interact with him. I usually need to change him, as he frequently shows up with a full diaper and the same clothes on as the day before. I say, "come on, lets go change your diaper", and he says no and starts crying. He doesn't get breakfast at home, so I need to feed him. Ask him if he wants anything, cereal, yogurt, banana, etc., he says no and starts crying. Even if I don't ask and just put something in front of him, he starts crying. Ask him if he wants to get out some toys, he says no and starts crying. The other kids play and if they try to get him to play with them he says no and cries. All he really does is stand and stare. His mom say he just might need extra love and affection, but if I pick him up he says "down" and cries. Today he got dropped off with his favorite truck. He is not paying it any attention. Ask him if he wants to play with it and he cries. The other kids tried to play with it and he went nuts crying and pushing them away from it. Now it is just sitting there and he is standing and staring again calmly. What can I do to help him or should I just leave him alone?

[Heidi]

How long has he been with you?

If it's only been a little while, give him time. He may just be overwhelmed. I've had a kiddo or two over the years who just need to sit back and watch until they are ready. I think you've crossed the bridge once they'll eat for you. That mean's they're starting to get comfortable.

I would try to be as gentle with him as you can, get down close and whisper or speak quietly to him. Encourage, but don't force. With meals, invite him to the table, but don't give him a million choices, and if he chooses not to come, then leave him be. "We are having waffles for breakfast, if you'd like to come eat, here's a spot for you". Maybe ask mom what a few of his favorites are (not infront of hiim) for extra incentive.

Do you have a cozy or crying spot? Or a spot he can sit that's comfortable where he can watch? "It looks like you're not ready to play yet. That's ok. Here is a cozy spot you can watch from, and when you're ready, come play".

He'll be ready when he's ready. Only fight him on the stuff that's non-negotiable, like nap time or when it's time for everyone to go outside (obviously, he can't stay in alone).

[Heidi]

I see you double posted about this kiddo.

Nap time is a non-negotiable item. Find a quiet corner for him, let him pick a stuffed animal (or let him bring one he loves, but ONLY for nap time).

Remind everyone at lunch..."so..what do we do after lunch?...yep! Everyone take a rest". Then, get everyone else tucked him. Curtains closed, say good night to all your friends..etc. la la la

Last, lay him down , and if he gets up, repeat. Stay calm. Lead him back, lay him down, and say only "nap time". It may take a while the first few days (it coudl take 30 tries...keep going), but he'll get that you mean business.

I bet once he sleeps, he'll be in a better mood. Being tired is not a good coping strategy for anyone.

[littlemissmuffet]

Hi! I am taking care of a 2 year old boy who cries about almost everything and I don't know what to do. He gets dropped off and everything is fine until you try to interact with him. I usually need to change him, as he frequently shows up with a full diaper and the same clothes on as the day before.

Firstly, you need to tell the parents that the child is required to come in a FRESH diaper and clean clothing each morning. No exceptions.

He doesn't get breakfast at home, so I need to feed him. Ask him if he wants anything, cereal, yogurt, banana, etc., he says no and starts crying. Even if I don't ask and just put something in front of him, he starts crying.

Stop giving options, just put the food down. Leave it on his tray for 15-20 minutes, then take it away whether he is done or not. Don't talk to him about it, don't make a big deal about it.

Ask him if he wants to get out some toys, he says no and starts crying. The other kids play and if they try to get him to play with them he says no and cries. All he really does is stand and stare. His mom say he just might need extra love and affection, but if I pick him up he says "down" and cries.

Leave him be. Try to engage him without words. Just sit near him and play, see if he joins you. Ignore the constant crying. When he is not crying, try to talk with him about things he likes, etc. Don't give in to the crying.

Today he got dropped off with his favorite truck. He is not paying it any attention. Ask him if he wants to play with it and he cries. The other kids tried to play with it and he went nuts crying and pushing them away from it.

I (and many others here) don't allow toys from home.


How long has this child been with you?
I give kiddos a full month to transition. Kids like this, I leave alone for the most part and let them adjust and settle in at their own pace. I reassure them throughout the day so they know they are safe, loved and their parent is coming back - but I don't panic and try everything possible to stop the cries... crying is natural and kids need to learn to calm themselves in certain situations.

If you have had him for a long time, that's a whole different story.

[mbullette]

When I first started in home childcare, I had a little boy like that. I tried everything and nothing worked. After 3 weeks I couldn't take anymore and termed the child. You can only do so much and there are times a child and provider are just not a good match.

[daycare]

how long has the child been with you and how many days a week does he attend.

[E72]

He has been with me for about 2 months, so maybe that is not long enough for him to be comfortable. I don't have a crying spot, so maybe that is a good idea. About the toy from home, I thought maybe it would help, but this is definitely the first and the last time for that. Good idea about the food... one choice, and that's all. I have tried this and some days he just doesn't eat. I do worry that he doesn't eat real well at home and eating here is his best chance at eating healthy. His car seat is covered in Pringles, whipped cream, and other sticky sweets. He has shown up with multiple ly pops in his mouth at the same time... at 7AM! He also gets sweets and chips after pickup too. Mom says he eats real food at home... Maybe for dinner? I hope so! Thanks for the advice. I will stay firm and hopefully things will improve.

[daycare]

I have a boy almost 3 that is like this and has been with me for about 8 months. BUT he is only here 3 days a week, then with grandma 2 days a week and the rest of the time with mom or friends

this poor kid does not know up from down. AND this is why he cries. He does not know what to expect, he does not know our routine or program. He also will not eat here because unless it comes in a bag or box he won't eat it at all. I only serve home cooked meals from real food.

I just told DCM that either he goes full time or he goes. This poor kid is just a hot mess.

is it possible yours is going through something similar?

I have also gotten to the point that I tell him no more crying go play and I ignore it. He stops.

[Blackcat31]

I see you double posted about this kiddo.

I merged the threads so hopefully it will not be as confusing.

[littlemissmuffet]

He has been with me for about 2 months, so maybe that is not long enough for him to be comfortable. I don't have a crying spot, so maybe that is a good idea. About the toy from home, I thought maybe it would help, but this is definitely the first and the last time for that. Good idea about the food... one choice, and that's all. I have tried this and some days he just doesn't eat. I do worry that he doesn't eat real well at home and eating here is his best chance at eating healthy. His car seat is covered in Pringles, whipped cream, and other sticky sweets. He has shown up with multiple ly pops in his mouth at the same time... at 7AM! He also gets sweets and chips after pickup too. Mom says he eats real food at home... Maybe for dinner? I hope so! Thanks for the advice. I will stay firm and hopefully things will improve.

Sounds like he's spoiled at home and his parents give him whatever they want so they don't have to hear him cry. Just don't give in. I have kids who act like this at home but know they can't get away with it here and they eventually settle in just fine. They sort of live double lives because they act one way at home and an extremely different way with me. I show my kiddos real love through affection and discipline - not through bribbery and games.

I hope he is able to get used to a new way at your home and you two can work peacefully together soon. Good luck!

[cheerfuldom]

I would put him down for a nap first thing in the morning. Put him on two naps a day till things get better. If they are feeding him junk all day and coddling him, I would imagine they are not requiring him to sleep/rest for enough hours either. They are not going to be magically firm about something when he basically runs the show in every other way at home from the sounds of it.

[snips&snails]

I have one, almost 2, who made it through the 2 week adjustment but STILL if something didn't go his way would end up crying ALL afternoon - was driving me bonkers , especially since it was very clearly a complaining cry as opposed to a hurt/scared/sad cry.

Finally one day I told him that its ok to cry, everyone needs to cry sometimes, but when he needs to cry he needs to sit on the sofa. When he is done he can come play.

Took one day, next day he was a different child - happy, playing, interacting. Now when he starts to cry he goes & sits down for about 5-10 seconds then is up & playing again!!!!