New Toddler - Screamer!

[MNMum]

Okay, so it is day four with my new 17 mo old. She has spent most of her days crying. The only break I got was during her 1.5 hour nap. Today she slept 40 mins and has been screaming since. I tried to go in and settle her to no avail.

Suggestions about dealing with this child? Do I leave her in her crib for the full 2 hours, or get her up when she wakes. I don't want her to think nap time only lasts 40 minutes around here.

Today was a little better during playtime, she actually stopped crying for a few minutes and played, and she would stop if she was held.

How long do you work with them before you say they aren't adjusting? She has been at home with mom for the past several months. She has gone to daycare at a center prior to that.

On a happier note - my notorious non sleeping 16 month old has been asleep for nearly 2 hours. happyface

[Willow]

Why do you think she's screaming?

Fear? Separation Anxiety? Being overwhelmed? Over excited? Exhaustion? Frustration?

Some insight into what might be causing it would probably help in putting together a solution!

[cheerfuldom]

If you have seen even a tiny bit of progress after four days, I think this is just the transition. I wouldnt carry her any extra and I would have her stay in her pack n play for the whole nap time. 40 minutes is not enough at all. I would expect 2 to 3 hours. Some of my kids 18 months and younger still take two naps a day.

[DaisyMamma]

I feel for you eventhough I have no suggestions.... I just got a 5mo. who is clearly held all day when home :confused: and he has a high pitched blood curdling scream that stops the instant he is picked up. Ugh!

[frugalmama4]

WhyohWhy....

Why do parents to this to their children. Do they not realize at some point the child will be cared for by someone else...family or not...day or longer. It is so hard on the kid when they are put in a new environment as it is...but to be spoiled on top of that just ****s for everyone!!!

Season vents please shine some light. How do we talk to the parents and tell them in a nice respectful way...STOP HOLDING THIS KID ALL DAY!!!

Ugh!

Sorry MNmum...I don't have any helpful advice...outside of let her cry it out!

[daycare]

when I did have infants here is what I did...

I held them as much as i possibly could in the start. I want them to get to know me, know my voice, my smell, and trust me. they are not like older children that have a better sense of awareness.

once the child would get to know and trust me, then I would gradually pull away more and more so that the child would learn to NOT need to be held all the time. Depending on if the infant as pt or ft it would take a few weeks.

I am sure that it is a lot of mixed emotions for this little one....try to feel where they are coming from, maybe scared, maybe scared, tired and overwhelmed in their new environment?????? there could be soooooooooooooooo many different factors for the little one. I think that comforting them is the only way to make them feel safe, secure and happy....

[coolconfidentme]

What about a 4 year old who cries only at lunch & wants mommy or daddy? I think he doesn't want the nap that he knows will happen. Today he cried so much, he just went into the nap-room & laid down. I guess he wore himself out crying, .

[MNMum]

What about a 4 year old who cries only at lunch & wants mommy or daddy? I think he doesn't want the nap that he knows will happen. Today he cried so much, he just went into the nap-room & laid down. I guess he wore himself out crying, .

Hmmmm...I don't think I would be very nice about this. I haven't had to create a crying spot for older kids here yet, as it hasn't been an issue. But one would definetly be created. At 4, I think he is trying to manipulate the situation with the crying.

[MNMum]

when I did have infants here is what I did...

I held them as much as i possibly could in the start. I want them to get to know me, know my voice, my smell, and trust me. they are not like older children that have a better sense of awareness.

once the child would get to know and trust me, then I would gradually pull away more and more so that the child would learn to NOT need to be held all the time. Depending on if the infant as pt or ft it would take a few weeks.

I am sure that it is a lot of mixed emotions for this little one....try to feel where they are coming from, maybe scared, maybe scared, tired and overwhelmed in their new environment?????? there could be soooooooooooooooo many different factors for the little one. I think that comforting them is the only way to make them feel safe, secure and happy....

This is what I was wondering. Do you start with the constant holding and then wean them, or does that just make it harder on them? I have a very young group, and honestly, I can't be carrying bigger kids around all day!(I'm only going to get more pregnant in the coming months!)

On Thursday I plopped her on my lap and let her sit. But I made it very boring and just held her, eventually she did get down and want to play with the toys. Because, well, in my house adults are pretty boring!