Toddler Injury - Advice Needed ASAP!

[bunnyslippers]

So I have a baby here - she is 16 months old, just started walking. She has fallen twice today - one time leading to a bruise on her cheek, the other leading to a scratch down the other side of her face. I called her mom both times, but I think her mother is angry about it. I have been right with her, but she just keeps getting hurt! She started walking about four months ago, and is in that crash around phase.

Any advice on how to handle this? I feel terrible, but am not really sure how to make the mom feel less angry. H

[SilverSabre25]

I don't think I would have called mom for scratches and bruises. She's a toddler, she falls, it's NORMAL. As for mom being angryk, if your attitude is a laid-back, "hey, this is normal, she's a healthy active little girl and this is normal" then parents will figure it out too.

[bunnyslippers]

This is an intense mom, and she doesn't like any injuries, ever, which is why I called. I did tell her it was normal, but I know the mom is going to flip when she sees the scratch (down the whole side of her face). I literally feel sick about it.

[Mom&Provider]

I don't think you can do anything else, other then put the child in a bubble! Just make sure to write it all down, what happened when she fell, where she was and where you were. We can't always be close enough to each child to stop them from every fall and DCM needs to understand that.

I remember when I first started daycare, I had a little one that would fall over everything...her own feet being the main issue! I never called the parents at work, it was never serious, but I did explain how each incident happened at pick-up. It was tough for awhile, and I felt badly almost weekly like I just couldn't look after this child, but over time she became more steady and it happened less and less. Now things are much better and simple falls are few and far between. It always made me feel a bit better when something would happen on the parents time...at least they never denied the fact that their little one was a bit clumsy and they completely understood and never thought ill of how I watched their child - I still do!

My point is, you've done nothing wrong, you've done your job and have explained each incident. Children are going to fall, trip over a car or block on the floor or just get silly and get caught up under their own feet! Sometimes you'll just happen to be right there to grab them and stop the fall, but most times you're across the room or within a few feet and just can't do much about it. Do your best to record all that happens and explain it to the parent(s), really that's all you can do!

[Meyou]

I would have a talk to mom about her expectations both for the current age of her child and group care in general. It's not reasonable for a child to never get little bumps and bruises and if she feels that way you may need to part ways with her.

[tenderhearts]

I always feel the same way when a child gets hurt, but it happens especially when they are newly walking, one of my 3 yr olds when he started walking at 12 months, he fell and hit the corner of the rocking chair and he got a black eye, I felt horrible, but thankfully his parents totally understood and weren't the freaking out type (and it was their first). About a month later he did the same thing at home and got a bruise on his cheek. I'm sure this child has and will get hurt with mom at some point.

[countrymom]

document and take a pic of it. Just explain that its so normal for a kid.

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks ladies. I just think the mom is going to be really angry, and I don't want that to happen. The scratch on her face looks TERRIBLE. It goes from her forehead down her cheek (skips over the eye area). She got it from holding a matchbox car when she fell down. I just am literally sick over this. I know it happens, but I don't think this mom is particularly realistic about injuries. Short of bubble wrap, I am not sure what I can do.

Would you give the mom the documented incident report, or just write it down in case?

[daycare]

This is an intense mom, and she doesn't like any injuries, ever, which is why I called. I did tell her it was normal, but I know the mom is going to flip when she sees the scratch (down the whole side of her face). I literally feel sick about it.

I agree with silver....

years ago when I had a new walker the baby fell lots. I would take a pic and say look at your little champ, he's really walking down a bumpy road .... then it would show what happened......

we can't help it, everyone will fall when they learn to walk, this child is NO different...

just dont play into it too miuch

[blandino]

I would document, document, document. With a photo too ! And have the mom sign the injury report before she leaves. Also document that you called mom as soon as it happened.

[snips&snails]

I give a cute little ouch report that tells when & where an injury happened - it's a nice way to show that you WERE watching. One child last week hit his chin & got a pretty large injury; I was nervous but the family is still talking about how much they loved the ouch report .
I never call unless it is a fairly significant injury. Kids do hurt themselves, I find if you can get an attitude that balances sympathy/"yes I care" with a casual attitude that "this is totally normal/bumps & bruises are no big deal"

In centers I have had parents freak out over scraped knees. Really? I read an article recently where the author was standing up for children's right to have scraped knees & bumps & bruises. I am all for safety but isn't minor injuries part of childhood? Who wants to live in bubblewrap?????

[NeedaVaca]

When my DD was around 2 she was in the footed pj's, she was seriously within arm reach when she fell on our wood floors but there was no way for me to catch her before she fell...I saw in happen, almost like slow motion but there was nothing I could do about it, she just fell so fast! Her chin had a horrible cut, it was awful but a normal accident. Your DCG is bound to do something at home and get hurt no matter how careful this mom is...

Of course whenever I take either one of my kiddo's to the Dr. for well visits, etc, they always seem to have a bruise somewhere! It just never fails...and the Dr. is always so nice, saying "well, the bumps and bruises are in all the right spots"

[bunnyslippers]

I guess I just have to face it - she is going to be upset, but I do the best I can to keep everyone here safe. I think it is just the fact that both ouchs are on her face - ug. This is a mom who works in my son's school, and I just worry about her complaining about me to his teachers and stuff. And she is friendly with another mom who is here...just worrying about the snowball effect.

I am probably making a bigger deal out of it then I have to. I just need to get her out of here and try to downplay how bad I feel. I know if I make a big deal out of it, the situation is only going to get worse. I just feel so upset about it!

[LK5kids]

I would call with any fall creating a mark on the face, just to be careful. I guess after you have informed mom you were right there doing your job and let her knew you are carefully and safely caring for her child you have let it go. That and take a picture and document in your medical log.

Kids get hurt when parents are right there too. no kid gets through childhood without bumps and bruises!

I know in these situations (or if I am being a bit grumpy with the kids or I am expecting too much) I reflect on anything I could differently.

I know I would say that safety is something I take very seriously and I am always making sure the kids' environment is safe but these things are going to happen! That and that I understand her concern.

Take a deep breathe, pat yourself on the back, put your feet up this afternoon and relax. You deserve it!

[MarinaVanessa]

Parents like this are the reason that I have this in my handbook:

"Bumps and scratches are inevitable even though every effort is made to keep the children safe through supervision and child-proofing. Please expect that children may experience a minor scrape or bruise from child play.

If the injury is not life-threatening, but requires further treatment, the client will be contacted. An incident report will be completed for all accidents that leave a mark or involve a hard fall and a copy will be given to the client upon arrival."

As long as you smile and stay calm (don't let DCM get you worked up) and assure her that falls, scrapes and bruises are innevitable then it should at least keep her from flying off the handle. If she pushes it ask her how she keeps her child from falling at home and how he plays when at home. Include questions about when he is outdoors. They sometimes think about it differently if you force them to think about when things are reversed. You may even find that DCB isn't allowed to play outside much or that he isn't able to play as freely at home as he does in DC. At that point then you simply remind her that at daycare children are allowed to and encouraged to explore and play freely under direct supervision ... then reeiterate that falls, scrapes and bruises are going to happen.