Getting a Stubborn Kid to Take a Nap

[Hannah]

I can't find any in-depth answers for this one. Can anyone help?

I have a lot of good tricks for getting kids to do things they don't normally want to do, but with this one little girl (age 3) they're just no good. Every afternoon around nap time, I need to invent some new psychological game to get this girl to at LEAST lie still so she doesn't disrupt the other kids. The trick will work ONCE, and then I'll need something new for the next day.

Well, now I'm out of tricks. The only thing I haven't tried is spanking, which of course I can't do. I think it's great that this 3-year-old has a strong, independent will, and it will serve her wonderfully when she's an adult, but right now it's making us crazy!

If I can't get her to "make a choice" to lie down (rather than being forced to lie down), if I can't get her to "lie down all by herself" (she's really into saying that she can do it), if I can't blackmail her into lying down in order to get her blankie back, then she's sitting up, standing up, jumping on her cot, being loud, saying this hurts or that hurts, saying she needs to go to the bathroom, you know the drill.

She actually TRIES to get put on time out. I usually just ignore her because everything else encourages her. But see, then she's making a ruckus and waking up the rest of the room, which we just can't have. And now another little girl is following suit.

I AM LOSING CONTROL HERE. Anyone know any new tricks?

[daycarediva]

Without more details (does she nap when she eventually lays down?, does she nap at home? have you talked to Mom about this behavior?)

I would attempt to ignore the behavior, and reward the other children. I do this for clean up times, "If we help clean up, we can put a sticker on our chart to show Mommy/Daddy!" My 2-3's will do ANYTHING for a sticker.

I would move her nap mat/cot the FIRST time she was disruptive. "Sorry dcg, your friends are trying to rest so you will have to sleep _______"

If the kids stay on their mats, I ready stories until everyone falls asleep. It usually gets me 5-6 small books (and if I run out, I send a very well behaved child to go retrieve another 1-2). I know if I tell my rowdy 3yo dcg to remember to sit still if she wants to pick more books, she is a statue.

HTH some!

[mamac]

Have you tried changing your after nap routine to something that she would really enjoy and look forward to? This works for my son. I tell him take a "quick" nap and when you get up we're doing such and such, but you HAVE to go to sleep. Sometimes he says he's not tired and I tell him he just has to lay down and be really quiet for "just a little while" before we can do something fun/special. Most times he'll fall asleep within 5 minutes and the days he doesn't at least he's quiet. The funny thing is, I usually don't have anything super special planned. It might be something as mundane as a household chore that I normally do by myself but I have him be my little helper. Anything that makes him feel like a "big boy" usually works. He's 2 1/2.
Maybe she could help get snacks ready or something?

[Blackcat31]

I'd play off that independent attitude and start a reward or sticker chart for everyone. Once they reach have earned a certain number of stickers, they can choose a special activity or something fun!

I use the fact that kids are naturally competitive. I don't set them up to make everything a race but I will mention to older kids that "Look, Billy is listening like a big kid. Can you listen like Billy?"

"Monkey see - monkey do" mentality is pretty common here.

I also use audio books during nap time. I buy books on CD from Scholastic and put several books on one CD. I then put the volume just low enough that you have to lie still to hear it.

Most my sleepers will drift off just from lying still but the ones who rest and don't actually sleep will lay still for the entire nap time just listening quietly.

[Willow]

I'd stop with the mind games stuff.

She obviously knows exactly what you're trying to do and that's why it's not working, she sounds like a smart cookie.


Keep it simple. Lay her down and leave her be. I love offering lots of "choices" throughout the day to help kids feel in control, but nap time is not one of them. I don't put it out there as a decision they ever get to make. They are told they will lay down and rest quietly. Point blank. Everyone takes a rest and I offer no further explanation about it. They quickly learn any kind of protesting gets them nowhere.

If she sits up - lay her back down. If she stands up - lay her back down. If she jumps - lay her back down. If she says her whatever hurts - ignore her.

Set her cot up away from the other kids because she will obviously try being loud to get everyone else riled, you can't cave to it though. Don't let her see it bothers you at all. Don't speak a word or even so much as turn your head in her direction. The only time I'll ever intervene is if a child resorts to all out bloody screaming. I've only ever had two try that and I simply walked over, plucked up their lovie and walked away. When they tore after me in a fury I simply stood there and pointed back to their mat and waited for the ridiculousness to run it's course. When they calmed back down and relented that's when I returned the item.


I'm wondering what her parents say when you've talked to them about this issue. They should be supportive in conveying the message that her behavior is NOT acceptable.

[bunnyslippers]

I agree with Willow 100% on this one, and I have done exactly what she just described. I have to say, by naptime, my patience with tap dancing to get good behavior is very over. It is the only time I have to do my own thing and get my life organized, so I put up with nothing!

[AllDeezBabies]

I'd stop with the mind games stuff.

She obviously knows exactly what you're trying to do and that's why it's not working, she sounds like a smart cookie.


Keep it simple. Lay her down and leave her be. I love offering lots of "choices" throughout the day to help kids feel in control, but nap time is not one of them. I don't put it out there as a decision they ever get to make. They are told they will lay down and rest quietly. Point blank. Everyone takes a rest and I offer no further explanation about it. They quickly learn any kind of protesting gets them nowhere.

If she sits up - lay her back down. If she stands up - lay her back down. If she jumps - lay her back down. If she says her whatever hurts - ignore her.

Set her cot up away from the other kids because she will obviously try being loud to get everyone else riled, you can't cave to it though. Don't let her see it bothers you at all. Don't speak a word or even so much as turn your head in her direction. The only time I'll ever intervene is if a child resorts to all out bloody screaming. I've only ever had two try that and I simply walked over, plucked up their lovie and walked away. When they tore after me in a fury I simply stood there and pointed back to their mat and waited for the ridiculousness to run it's course. When they calmed back down and relented that's when I returned the item.


I'm wondering what her parents say when you've talked to them about this issue. They should be supportive in conveying the message that her behavior is NOT acceptable.

This squared.

[coolconfidentme]

I don't use tricks, I'm just very consistent in my discipline policy.

I have a little girl who is doing the same thing. The first time she was disruptive, I removed her from the room & had her sleep somewhere else. This was an everyday thing. She is now put in another room for naps & has to earn her way back into sleeping with others. That tip was given to me by the CACFP sponsor when she came for my review. (The child had 3 timeouts in the 30 minutes she was here.)

At 3, she is queen of timeouts & will go repeat the behavior as soon as her timeout is done just to show the other kids it didn't phase her. I put her right back in timeout. Some days are exhausting & she takes more of my time than the baby. If she was new I probably would've termed her, but she isn't & I know she is capable of being good. I just have new kids & she is going for the Alpha Kid position.

Crazy thing, one of the other children asked if they have to play with her. He said he & another boy was good & she wasn't.

[Starburst]

Maybe before nap time have her (or all the children if you'd like) do some deep breathing exercises: an imaginary "beach ball" in the tummy while laying on their back on a flat surface {knees bent or flat on the ground} with their eyes closed and trying to slowly inflate and deflate the "beach ball" but listening to you instruct them when to inhale/exhale (wait about 3 to 5 second between breaths) have them do this for about 10-15 minutes. After a while when they get tired of this (after a week or 2) you can try to help them with sounds (like ah, fa, la, da, ga, th) while exhaling and try to push the air to their hands first with it first like an inch from their mouth and then puting their hands as high up as possible while still laying down. or just have them lay on the floor eyes closed and trying to do a "mmm..." hum and try to get them to see if they can feel the sound they are making (aka the "Bass") in their fingers and toes.

These exercises originated to teach actors how to project their voice too the back of the room without shouting and damaging their vocal cords. We did this exercise in my cc theater class all the time and I would take a nap the minute I got home! it slows down your heart rate and relax you which helps them feel tired and they will most likely sleep through the entire nap.

[My3cents]

nap time is a routine here.

Separate this child from the others the best that you can

Shut the shades, lights, turn on some boring repetitive music ( I actually like classical music so it is not boring to me) same time, same routine, diaper checks, get blankets, whatever your nap routine is and just do it. You might have to sit next to her for five minutes to help her settle down, I have rubbed kids backs to help them relax and use the word NO She starts to talk, No we don't do that it is rest time. Try giving her a stuffy to hold and if she doesn't listen taking it away- she will have an up roar over this, but tell her if you stop fussing then I will give it back.

Don't play games just let her know this is what we do and give it time. I would also put her down first, it gives her time to get the wiggles out of her system and not bother everyone else, then after you get everyone else down and she is still at her stuff, you sit next to her and if she gets up, you put her right back down, every time with little words except maybe NO

Talk to the parents, sometimes if they talk to the child it does help or they might have ideas for you that will help.

Best-