DC Parents In Your Fridge?

[EchoMom]

Does anyone else deal with the issue of DCparents going in your fridge? Last year when I started and didn't think it through very far, I let DCparents put their own kids food in my fridge. Bottles of breastmilk, food they'd packed for them at home, etc. I soon hated it because I felt like it was one more thing I had to make sure was presentable. Was my fridge spic n span? Did everything look healthy? But it was too far into the habit for me to feel like I could stop it.

Now I've had a big turnover and so the person who used to put her food in the fridge is gone, but now I have new families, 2 of which have gone to put their baby bottles in my fridge to "help save me a trip" but I cut them off at the pass and said "Oh, I'll get it, thanks!"

I don't want them to think I'm hiding anything, since I provide all the cooked meals I want them to know that the kitchen IS clean, my fridge IS clean, the food IS healthy, etc. But still, I don't want to feel like it's another thing I have to worry about being judged for or presentable. And yes, what if I have a chocolate cake in there? What if my husband has beer? Etc. It would make me feel judged.

So, I don't want to feel like I'm HIDING something BAD from them because I'm NOT. But it's just there is SOOOOOOOOOOO little privacy when your home is a daycare and SOOOOOOOOO much to clean and worry about that it's like SERIOUSLY now I have to worry about the inside of my fridge?

Anyway, I'm trying to make sure it doesn't become a habit or allowed this time around, but I feel weird cutting them off.

Anyone else ever had this situation?

[Michael]

[renodeb]

No, none of m dc parents go into my fridge. Infact hardly any of them even make it past the front gate. Its like boundaries. Its still your home. Put an end to it now.
Debbie

[cheerfuldom]

I think you have the right idea in cutting this off right now. Just have them pass the bag over and keep doing what you are doing. you need some boundaries for sure and i understand not wanting people in the kitchen.

[Play Care]

I think you have the right to set boundaries without feeling guilty/needing to make excuses for them. I do think the parents are probably in a hurry to get to work that it probably doesn't even register what you have in your fridge but I understand where you are coming from. I think a couple of times heading them off at the pass (which you've been doing) will probably be sufficient to get them to understand. If they continue you may need to be more direct.

[bunnyslippers]

No way would I allow this. You are totally in the right...stop it now and for good. I would hate having people in my fridge!!!!!

[lovemykidstoo]

I had 1 mom that did this 1 time. she walked right past me into my kitchen (which is right where they come in) and opened the fridge and put her baby's bottle in it. I was so floored as I had never in 12 years had anyone do that before that I was speechless. I stopped her next time by saying oh, I'll take that for you thanks. It was about 2 weeks later and I termed her anyway because it was a neigbor that didn't work, she just wanted 1 day a week to do what she wanted and her baby was 9 months old and screamed the whole day. buh bye!! Just keep stopping her, she'll get the message. That is just plain rude for someone to do that. It is still your home and should be respected.

I have come to the conclusion in this type of work that if someone is rude enough to do or say something then I'll be rude right back and stand up for myself. I dont' care if they get mad, that's rude.

[Abigail]

I guess I have a mini fridge for my daycare items for the day. No one opened it until just a few weeks ago when I got another infant enrolled so I was busy in the morning holding the new little one when my older infant had milk to go in the fridge and I typically would leave it in the lunch box for half hour when I got the chance to start breakfast but the parent just started putting it in the fridge for me when I was busy. I felt it was weird like just another thing to look at and scope out, , but it's all daycare. I'm just happy that I didn't stock the door with my diet cokes cause I would have to stop doing that just because I want to have a good impression too. Maybe you can have a place where they put all fridge meals on a counter when they walk in making sure they're labeled and just state the fridge door gets opened and closed too often that you will put everything in at once when arrivals have finished. Something simple or a conversation.

[Blackcat31]

You have a right to feel the way you do.

However, I would not be passive aggressive about this and just hope that the parent figures it out because you are cutting them off and doing it yourself or dropping little hints/clues.

I would outright state that you ARE a business but this is still your home and you do not allow parents to enter, use or touch things that belong to your family. This includes the refrigerator.

I don't have this issue because I don't allow parents to bring food into daycare and I don't allow parents to bring pre-made bottles. The families that use breast milk just hand me the frozen bags and I put them in the freezer myself. If they hand me a freshly pumped bottle, they set it on the counter and I take care of it.

If I were you, I would send out an e-mail or add a blurb to your next newsletter stating that DCF's are not allowed to go into your fridge. Ever.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and your family's right to privacy in your own home.

[EchoMom]

I had 1 mom that did this 1 time. she walked right past me into my kitchen (which is right where they come in) and opened the fridge and put her baby's bottle in it. I was so floored as I had never in 12 years had anyone do that before that I was speechless. I stopped her next time by saying oh, I'll take that for you thanks. It was about 2 weeks later and I termed her anyway because it was a neigbor that didn't work, she just wanted 1 day a week to do what she wanted and her baby was 9 months old and screamed the whole day. buh bye!! Just keep stopping her, she'll get the message. That is just plain rude for someone to do that. It is still your home and should be respected.

I have come to the conclusion in this type of work that if someone is rude enough to do or say something then I'll be rude right back and stand up for myself. I dont' care if they get mad, that's rude.

I don't think it's intended to be rude at all. I think they are genuinely trying to be helpful because these are really really sweet, nice, considerate, enthusiastic new families. I just think it's interesting, one former DCM did it and now both of these 2 new families are trying to do it as well. They just say "I'll put this in the fridge for you?" and start to head toward it but I just say Oh I'll get it! Or, just set it on the counter and I'll put it away when I get up (kids on my lap reading books).

I think it's nice and really it IS helpful for them to put their own bottles in the fridge, but I just don't want another thing to worry about cleaning and being judged on my personal food items.

[lovemykidstoo]

I don't think it's intended to be rude at all. I think they are genuinely trying to be helpful because these are really really sweet, nice, considerate, enthusiastic new families. I just think it's interesting, one former DCM did it and now both of these 2 new families are trying to do it as well. They just say "I'll put this in the fridge for you?" and start to head toward it but I just say Oh I'll get it! Or, just set it on the counter and I'll put it away when I get up (kids on my lap reading books).

I think it's nice and really it IS helpful for them to put their own bottles in the fridge, but I just don't want another thing to worry about cleaning and being judged on my personal food items.

I don't think they're "trying" to be rude either, but going into someones refrigerator imo is rude. This is your personal home. That is not polite imo. I'm SURE that they're trying to be helpful and by the sounds of it, you dont' really mind that much except maybe if it's clean enough for them, which I'm sure it is. I wouldn't worry about anything being in there that would offend them like beer ect. And you mentioned what if there is chocolate cake in there? what's so wrong with that? They would have to understand that this is your "personal" refrigerator with a small portion for daycare. It's none of their business what you do when you're not working and I'm sure that they probably enjoy an adult beverage too. If anyone ever said anything about something in your fridge like alcohol, I would simply say well as long as I'm not drinking it during working hours.

[EchoMom]

I don't think they're "trying" to be rude either, but going into someones refrigerator imo is rude. This is your personal home. That is not polite imo. I'm SURE that they're trying to be helpful and by the sounds of it, you dont' really mind that much except maybe if it's clean enough for them, which I'm sure it is. I wouldn't worry about anything being in there that would offend them like beer ect. And you mentioned what if there is chocolate cake in there? what's so wrong with that? They would have to understand that this is your "personal" refrigerator with a small portion for daycare. It's none of their business what you do when you're not working and I'm sure that they probably enjoy an adult beverage too. If anyone ever said anything about something in your fridge like alcohol, I would simply say well as long as I'm not drinking it during working hours.

Yeah, I actually don't mind that much, I DO appreciate the convenience of them putting it away themselves and I often WANT and LIKE for them to see in the fridge because then maybe they'll notice how it's full of organic milk, produce, clean and organized.

But then I just went through a bad experience with a couple families I recently termed and lots of hurtful things got said and thrown back in my face (not about my fridge, ). Now I'm being much more guarded and I just don't want any possibility of anything being used against me. It just makes me feel like uh oh, check the fridge before opening, clean it up, hide things I don't want seen, just another unnecessary chore.

And I'm fat, and my mom who works with me is fat, so I feel weird if there's junk food in the pantry or fridge because then I feel like oh yeah, why do the fat ladies need sweets! LOL Just an odd quirk I guess.

Just wondered if anyone else had this issue, which is really a very very minor issue. But I'm going to stop it with this new group of parents, as I have been. Just easier that way.

[e.j.]

I don't think it's intended to be rude at all. I think they are genuinely trying to be helpful because these are really really sweet, nice, considerate, enthusiastic new families.

I think that's what makes it so hard to say something to them. I've had problems with this, too. I know it's best to say something directly rather than hinting and hoping they "get" it. It just feels so uncomfortable saying something because I know they're only trying to be helpful and I don't want to embarrass them. I had one mom who used to open up my fridge daily despite me saying, "Leave the bottles on the counter; I'll put them in the fridge in a minute" It got to the point where I'd stand in front of my fridge every morning so she couldn't open it. She left at the beginning of Sept. and I was thrilled not to be dealing with the issue anymore but yesterday, one of my newer clients decided to "help" me. Ugh!
Anyway...just wanted you to know you're not alone.

[lovemykidstoo]

Yeah, I actually don't mind that much, I DO appreciate the convenience of them putting it away themselves and I often WANT and LIKE for them to see in the fridge because then maybe they'll notice how it's full of organic milk, produce, clean and organized.

But then I just went through a bad experience with a couple families I recently termed and lots of hurtful things got said and thrown back in my face (not about my fridge, ). Now I'm being much more guarded and I just don't want any possibility of anything being used against me. It just makes me feel like uh oh, check the fridge before opening, clean it up, hide things I don't want seen, just another unnecessary chore.

And I'm fat, and my mom who works with me is fat, so I feel weird if there's junk food in the pantry or fridge because then I feel like oh yeah, why do the fat ladies need sweets! LOL Just an odd quirk I guess.

Just wondered if anyone else had this issue, which is really a very very minor issue. But I'm going to stop it with this new group of parents, as I have been. Just easier that way.

hey i'm fat and i like all of those things too!!! i seriously would not care what they thought about the contents of my fridge. i'm sure they're not even paying attention though if they're just opening it up and quickly putting something in. maybe you could get one of those dorm size refrig's and have it strictly for daycare bottles. Are they bringing anything but bottles? That way it's easily wiped down everynight.

[Starburst]

I would put it in the policies

Maybe revising any off limits areas you already have listed and add the refridgerator and freezer as off limits to daycare children and parents and stating something like "only the provider/provider's family/provider's assistant is allowed to put food in or take food out of the refriderator" you can justify it by saying it helps you remember where you put it (some people cannot see obvious things infront of them if they didn't put it there) and it also helps reduce the risk of contamination (if they put the milk/formula under thawing meat etc.), preventing accidents (spilled milk or dropped food); also by cutting the time the fridge is open to prevent food from spoiling and to prevent mix-up of whose bottle is whose. If you say it is to ensure health and safety codes they will more likely understand.

Or you can have something about during arrival and departure their job is to help the child settle down and get ready to transition into daycare by helping them take off their shoes/ coats and helping their child wash their hands when they arrive to reduce spread of germs. Also mention that arrivals and departures (drop offs and pick-ups) should be as fast as possible to 1) you focus on your job of taking care of all the children and 2) help the child adjust to the daycare setting faster. you can also say because children mimic behaviors of their parents and need to learn how to respect someone elses home

Bottom line is it is your business, but it is also your home and they need to respect it like they would anyone elses home. When I go to a close friend or relatives home I still always ask before I look in the fridge or get food out of the cabnits- because it is just common curtousy. Some people get so used to doing that with their friends they think it is there second home and when they go to a home daycare they think "Oh, I am paying her to do her job so I have a right to snoop around her house and nothing is off limits" in one sense it is true BUT not things that are off limits to the children like your room/kids rooms/garage or in your cabnets and refriderator- personally I don't know any child care provider that lets children take things out of the refriderator. I did work for one lady who had a whole extension added to her house (her ex husband was a contractor) and she had a refriderator in her kitchen that was mostly just for her personal use, one in the daycare room that was primarly for the daycare and a full freezer near her garage/office that was mostly used for the daycare.

Personally, if I couldn't have more than one refrigerator/freezer, I would just keep it off limits because if you, your husband, or your friends are having a party later and they see a bunch of soda, wine, beer, or other alcoholic drinks they may think "who am I leaving my child with?" Most parent understand but it freaks some parents (mostly parents that are really religous, health nuts, or parents who grew up in an alcoholic/drug abusive family) and for that and many other reasons that is a risk I personally would not want to take. I don't drink alcohol or soda, and I told my fiance (he drinks soda and likes to have an occational beer) that when we get married and I have my daycare that he needs to get a mini fridge for the bedroom if he wants beer/soda in the house (our room would be off limits to the daycare).