Why Don’t They Just Move?! LOL

[cheerfuldom]

You said that these kids are a year older than your dd, maybe they feel it's wrong to swat at someone younger than them? Maybe they're just surprised. who knows. do they hit at all?

my older kids here have gone thru hitting at younger ages but the 20 month old is the only one that is currently having an issue with it. I think part of the problem is that my middle bio. kids are here all day (20 months and 3.5 years old) and they do rough house a bit being siblings. Its hard because that behavior is not so bad when it is just our family at home and they are tickling each other and running around and swatting at each other in a playful way but now the 20 month old is getting wild on her own and directing it to the daycare kids. so I am addressing the behavior all day as best as possible. I dont personally mind a little rough housing between my own kids but as far as the daycare is concerned, I have to make sure that my own kids are acting appropriate and that means working on things all day, not just having some rules during daycare and some rules after hours. The toddler is not going to understand that she can only climb on sister after 530! LOL

[cheerfuldom]

We can't do it all... sometimes, we need the kids to help. I teach the kids to use an "Angry voice" and say "NO!" or "STOP!". I don't want them to use a whimpy voice while saying "Sto-op ittt... I don't liiike that.." Seriously, the perpetual victim is not going to get anything done...so, I want them to learn to assert themselves like they mean it.

The only kids who get hit over and over in my house are the ones who choose to use a whiny voice when they say it. They might as well be saying "Keep hitting me because I have no power to stop it".

Also, this child's arms are like 12 inches long...it doesn't hurt...there's no need to cry. Just say "NO".

yes, we are working on the same thing! my two "victims" are very whiney about it, if they say anything. we are working on a low tone voice and using our big girl words "NO (kids name)! Do not hit me! I dont like that!" The toddler DOES listen to the kids that tell her to stop. We are working on the same voice for other things too. Instead of crying at the table and making me guess what they want, they need to calm down and ask in a clear way "Ms. X, I need some more water please"

[cheerfuldom]

I am very lucky, I've never had a biter (knock on wood). I don't know why they hit like that. I kinda get it when it's the child that actually lives in the home like cheerfuldom's. I think that they get threatened because these kids are infringing on their "space" ya know? Doesn't make it right, but like I said initially the question is why is she doing that not so much why are the kids putting up with it. Has anything changed in the environment like are the kids sleeping in a different area than before, are they playing in or with toys that they didn't before? Or is she just being a normal toddler and hitting. I have a 20 month old boy that is fine all day and as soon as mom walks in he slaps her in teh face. I don't get that either. You wonder what is going on in their little heads.

the only thing that has changed is what i mentioned....the 20 month old is finally walking. she can get to the big kids and get into their games and be a little pain now. I am not justifying her actions at all. Its not okay and her Dad and I have both been all over that sort of thing. We dont want her thinking that hitting and being pesky is okay!

[EchoMom]

Well, guess I misinterpreted your comments then because all I was reading was why didn't the person that was being hit do this or that instead of why doesn't a child stop hitting. Guess I was wrong. I have had kids that hit and kids that just stand there and take it until they have enough and clock the hitter. That pretty much stops it right then and there.

I don't think she was writing a post about "Those stupid kids deserve to be hit because they're too dumb to move!" It wasn't a post about hitting behavior, it's a post about why do the little kids not have the common sense to move? It's funny, it really is in a twisted sort of way (I'm saying I'M twisted because it IS funny...). That's why she said LOL in her title, it was a lighthearted post.

Which OP I appreciate and I laughed out loud LOL when I read your title and post. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

I have a 2 year old that will just SCREAM, SHRIEK, and WHINE when my 16 mo. DS takes a toy from her. He's just learning, so while yes I redirect him, he doesn't know better yet, and she's older so I'll say DCG tell him NO. DCG, MOVE. DCG GET UP. LOL My DS will wrestle kids older than him, 2 years, 3 years old! Some love it, some WHINE and I just say MOVE!

But you're right... OMG they just SIT THERE!!! Man, what are they 2?! LOL Oh yeah... They are. LOL

[cheerfuldom]

I don't think she was writing a post about "Those stupid kids deserve to be hit because they're too dumb to move!" It wasn't a post about hitting behavior, it's a post about why do the little kids not have the common sense to move? It's funny, it really is in a twisted sort of way (I'm saying I'M twisted because it IS funny...). That's why she said LOL in her title, it was a lighthearted post.

Which OP I appreciate and I laughed out loud LOL when I read your title and post. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

I have a 2 year old that will just SCREAM, SHRIEK, and WHINE when my 16 mo. DS takes a toy from her. He's just learning, so while yes I redirect him, he doesn't know better yet, and she's older so I'll say DCG tell him NO. DCG, MOVE. DCG GET UP. LOL My DS will wrestle kids older than him, 2 years, 3 years old! Some love it, some WHINE and I just say MOVE!

But you're right... OMG they just SIT THERE!!! Man, what are they 2?! LOL Oh yeah... They are. LOL

funny! yes, it was a light hearted vent. although I am always up to ideas. It does seem like our own kids are quite confident and ready to get in there with the big kids a lot sooner than other kids out there.

the other thing is that one of the whiners in this story is 3.5! and she is almost the biggest kid here. she is fully capable of scooting back 6 inches and then calling for help or using her big girl words and asserting herself a bit. that is my frustration....that the other kids wont at least say something or ask for help!

[coolconfidentme]

@lovemykidstoo..., I think we are "like" minds! Everything thing you sad I was saying in my head & then read your posts, .

[lovemykidstoo]

the only thing that has changed is what i mentioned....the 20 month old is finally walking. she can get to the big kids and get into their games and be a little pain now. I am not justifying her actions at all. Its not okay and her Dad and I have both been all over that sort of thing. We dont want her thinking that hitting and being pesky is okay!

That's funny"she's being a little pain" LOL! Wonder if she was thinking and planning before she was more mobile I'm sure you are working with her on it and it does take time. sometimes when i've had kids that hit the parents will ask why they are doing it and I said because they can and because they're toddlers it's what they do. i still laugh when i'm picturing you talking about the pileup on the slide though. mine do the same dang thing and i just shake my head everytime!!::

[lovemykidstoo]

funny! yes, it was a light hearted vent. although I am always up to ideas. It does seem like our own kids are quite confident and ready to get in there with the big kids a lot sooner than other kids out there.

the other thing is that one of the whiners in this story is 3.5! and she is almost the biggest kid here. she is fully capable of scooting back 6 inches and then calling for help or using her big girl words and asserting herself a bit. that is my frustration....that the other kids wont at least say something or ask for help!

yea 3 .5 she should be definately figureing it out and also realizing that your daughter is younger and hasn't learned yet that that is not okay. that's what i tell my bigger kids that so and so is younger and is just learning that that is not okay.

[lovemykidstoo]

@lovemykidstoo..., I think we are "like" minds! Everything thing you sad I was saying in my head & then read your posts, .

that's funny! maybe you hijacked my password and are posting under my name lmao!

[countrymom]

acually the post about teaching kids to use their voice is really good. Thats what I do here. I want the kids to tell them to stop, I want them to use their voice. This is really important to establish in children because it will help them when they are older.

I've had kids just stand their and cry and when I tell them to use their voice and shout stop, the trouble maker is so shocked that they usually stop.

[SquirrellyMama]

Well that's classic because they are somewhat weaker than the kid hitting. The kid hitting is not going to pick someone that's more aggressive than them because they know they will get their diaper kicked. Kids are very smart.

Actually I shouldn't say they're weaker necessarily but they're just not a child that hits. Doesn't make them weaker I guess.

I think this can be classic behavior from adults too. There are some people that will just stay and take the abuse. I'm not talking necessarily about physical abuse. I think there are personality types out there that will take the abuse and not move and keep getting hurt. I have a relative like this.

K

[lovemykidstoo]

I think this can be classic behavior from adults too. There are some people that will just stay and take the abuse. I'm not talking necessarily about physical abuse. I think there are personality types out there that will take the abuse and not move and keep getting hurt. I have a relative like this.

K

very very true

[lovemykidstoo]

my older kids here have gone thru hitting at younger ages but the 20 month old is the only one that is currently having an issue with it. I think part of the problem is that my middle bio. kids are here all day (20 months and 3.5 years old) and they do rough house a bit being siblings. Its hard because that behavior is not so bad when it is just our family at home and they are tickling each other and running around and swatting at each other in a playful way but now the 20 month old is getting wild on her own and directing it to the daycare kids. so I am addressing the behavior all day as best as possible. I dont personally mind a little rough housing between my own kids but as far as the daycare is concerned, I have to make sure that my own kids are acting appropriate and that means working on things all day, not just having some rules during daycare and some rules after hours. The toddler is not going to understand that she can only climb on sister after 530! LOL

I just noticed this post from last night. YOu're so right, she's not going to get that she can't do something during the day and do it after 5:30. That's a hard one!!

[Blackcat31]

I think this can be classic behavior from adults too.

I was thinking the same thing.....not about abuse but in regards to why some providers vent about things and I read the posts and think to myself..."Why are they allowing that to happen" or "Why don't they just say no?"

I know and I understand that it isn't always that easy for some and not everyone has a good backbone or can financially afford to just term a kid when things go bad but I see/read plenty of posts where providers are looking for solutions to issues that aren't that huge of a deal if they just said "no."

So I suppose that the kids getting hit don't just move for the same reason that some providers don't just say no to something.

[DayCareDiva30]

I have a 23mo dcb that I call the Kingpin of the day care. He goes around bopping the other kids and taking their toys and their all older than he his. He even does this to my SA kiddos and no one ever says anything to him. They all just let him have his way. Now I'm starting to see the same behavior in my 14mo little cousin that I watch (I call him the 2nd lieutenant). It just amazes me that the youngest two in day care and they have the most control.