Don't Know What To Do

[LoraJenkins]

I have a 3 yr. old DCG that has been in my care since she was 2 months old. Usually she is the sweetest one I have. But Monday I caught her literally choking one of my cats! She has never done anything like this before. I was so angry with her! Of course she went straight to the think about it chair and straight to red. I contacted her mother at work and let her know what happened. I asked the DCG why she did that and all I got was "Because I wanted too". REALLY?????

I am now worried that this may be a red flag to worse in the future. I told her Mother that I cannot and will not allow a child to harm any animal and if it happens again I will terminate immediately. I don't know what else to do.

Thank you

[blandino]

I can sympathize, but have no real ideas on what to do that it haven't already done.

When we first opened the daycare, we had the sweetest cat. But having all the kids around, seemed to change her personality. One day she was sitting in the window sill, and 5 of the preschoolers were throwing things at the curtains trying to hit her. I was IRATE. They all had to sit out for a while, and I talked to all of their parents. So I can sympathize with how you feel.

Is there any way to seclude the cat while daycare kids are there. Obviously for the cats well being, and not for the child.

[countrymom]

I had an 18month old who would do this to the other kids. I mean full force chocking them. The child was small and petite but the biggest bully ever. It was scary because I couldn't leave the room, and when they would choke the other children it was like she had a gleem in their eye, like they were enjoying it. They were termed.

[Crazy In Mo]

Does she enjoy playing or petting the kitty? If so then I would try and use that to your advantage. Maybe tell her she isn't allowed to play with the kitty for awhile until she has learned to play nice. After a week or so let her try again. I wouldn't be to worried about it unless it continues.

[Willow]

Are you sure she was actually trying to harm the cat? Most kids that age have no idea how to properly handle pets. Perhaps she was just trying to pick it up?

That's exactly why I rarely allow any interaction between mine and my daycare kids. I know my animals have great temperaments and are very well trained, but in the end they are just animals and not all kids know how to behave around them well. If handled improperly, accidentally sat on, bonked with a toy or whatever, I realize they may lash out in defense. If your cat would have bitten or scratched her in retaliation, he'd have been in pretty grave danger of being put down and you potentially sued.


While a child having actual intentions to harm an animal is startling and incredibly serious, it's also incredibly rare.

In the future I would simply segregate your pets from your enrolled kids not just for the animal's safety, but the daycare kids safety and the liability factor on your end as well.

[Play Care]

Are you sure she was actually trying to harm the cat? Most kids that age have no idea how to properly handle pets. Perhaps she was just trying to pick it up?

That's exactly why I rarely allow any interaction between mine and my daycare kids. I know my animals have great temperaments and are very well trained, but in the end they are just animals and not all kids know how to behave around them well. If handled improperly, accidentally sat on, bonked with a toy or whatever, I realize they may lash out in defense. If your cat would have bitten or scratched her in retaliation, he'd have been in pretty grave danger of being put down and you potentially sued.


While a child having actual intentions to harm an animal is startling and incredibly serious, it's also incredibly rare.

In the future I would simply segregate your pets from your enrolled kids not just for the animal's safety, but the daycare kids safety and the liability factor on your end as well.

I agree with this. A provider in my town had to "re home" her cat after it scratched a child who was trying to pick it up. Apparently she scratched the child's eye...The provider was devastated. I know many view their pets as family, so with that in mind I think it's important to either keep them separated at all times, or only allow the pets out when you can be right there to supervise. I often think we underestimate just how much supervision children need around pets, even older kids. I am glad your cat wasn't seriously hurt.

[LoraJenkins]

This DCG has both a dog and cat at home. We have always had our 5 cats and dog here. She does know how to be gentle. And she actually chose to choke the one cat I have that would not scratch her to pieces for it.

She is now not allowed to touch any of the pets for a little while. And then it will be with me sitting right there. I have to protect the cats. Her Mother told me to spank her for it. WHAT????? I do not discipline children that way....mine or anyone else's.

She has also starting hitting my DCB recently (which she had never done before either). These behaviors are new so I am going to keep my eyes and ears open. Maybe something is going on making her act out.

Thanks for the advice...it's nice to have other Providers to talk with

[kimsdaycare]

I once had a dcg of similar age that I once caught with our puppy in a headlock PUNCHING him in the head. I was right there and no idea she was doing it, the sound was what alerted me. She had her eyes my direction so she could pretend she was petting him if I looked over. The look in her eyes was downright frightening. I immediately called and had a discussion with mom and she admitted to me that this child had thrown a kitten of theirs from the top of the stairs and it didnt survive. They were hoping that one was an accident but it certainly didnt look that way anymore. Her behavior did transfer over to other smaller, vulnerable children as well, but not as extreme.

I really do believe it was a control issue, she loved the power she had over small animals and the "getting away" with a forbidden act. I couldn't trust her, she had a liability cloud hanging over her head that kept me from taking her for drop-ins after kindy. The drama that followed her that whole year would shock you - including the school calling CPS on mom and dad who were cleared, but embarrassed to say the least. When she felt she was losing her control, she would come up more creative ways to prove that she indeed held it all. Scary, scary child.

Just be careful, it may be isolated, but it may be more.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I once had a dcg of similar age that I once caught with our puppy in a headlock PUNCHING him in the head. I was right there and no idea she was doing it, the sound was what alerted me. She had her eyes my direction so she could pretend she was petting him if I looked over. The look in her eyes was downright frightening. I immediately called and had a discussion with mom and she admitted to me that this child had thrown a kitten of theirs from the top of the stairs and it didnt survive. They were hoping that one was an accident but it certainly didnt look that way anymore. Her behavior did transfer over to other smaller, vulnerable children as well, but not as extreme.

I really do believe it was a control issue, she loved the power she had over small animals and the "getting away" with an unforbidden act. I couldn't trust her, she had a liability cloud hanging over her head that kept me from taking her for drop-ins after kindy. The drama that followed her that whole year would shock you - including the school calling CPS on mom and dad who were cleared, but embarrassed to say the least. When she felt she was losing her control, she would come up more creative ways to prove that she indeed held it all. Scary, scary child.

Just be careful, it may be isolated, but it may be more.

Yup, my stepson was and still is like that. He is 16 now, but at 10, he molested his 3 yr old sister, my dd.

He used to be so violent with our animals and to me as well. I was pregnant with twins (DD and baby #2) and he kicked me so hard in the tummy that I miscarried one baby and almost lost my daughter. But when dh came home he was sweet as pie.

He had child welfare called on us 7 times, I had to call the police, 4 times on him.
I think what did it for dh is that when he was cutting his hair one night with the clippers, ss flipped out and punched his dad. At 10 yrs old.

He had been like this since he was around 2 yrs old. So he now lives with his mother, who pretty much lets him do what he wants. And now she has admitted that alot of it was her telling him that he didnt have to do anything I say cause I wasnt his mom.

We have seen him maybe 4 times since he left in 2007.

He can be just plain old awful and my dd hates his living guts. She is now 11.

To this day he admits that yes, he was like this and that Me and my dd deserved it. Makes my husbands stomach turn.

I think some kids are just born this way TBH.

[Play Care]

This DCG has both a dog and cat at home. We have always had our 5 cats and dog here. She does know how to be gentle. And she actually chose to choke the one cat I have that would not scratch her to pieces for it.

She is now not allowed to touch any of the pets for a little while. And then it will be with me sitting right there. I have to protect the cats. Her Mother told me to spank her for it. WHAT????? I do not discipline children that way....mine or anyone else's.

She has also starting hitting my DCB recently (which she had never done before either). These behaviors are new so I am going to keep my eyes and ears open. Maybe something is going on making her act out.

Thanks for the advice...it's nice to have other Providers to talk with

You witnessed it so you would know best, but I have to say of the kids in my care the ones with pets at home always seem to be the roughest with animals/pets. I don't know if it's because they are overly comfortable with them since they do have them at home? Those are usually the ones I have to watch the closest. I find kids with no pets/animals tend to shy away from them and not interact at all.

[wdmmom]

A 3.5 year old dcb kicked my puppy. We hadn't had him 2 weeks and he was the size of a football. He got put in a chair until pickup (5 minutes) and dcd was warned, aggressive behavior towards ANYTHING ever again will result in immediate termination!! That dog cost me $650!! After I told them that, they jumped on board and got very serious very quickly!! This mama don't play!! Mess with my furry kids, you pay!!