Update On DCG Who Is Being Pulled Because I Don't Take Babies...

[MaritimeMummy]

So, to add from my previous thread from a few days ago, (where I got notice from one of my part time day care parents saying they were pulling their daughter, because I don't take babies under a year and she has a little brother that is 7 months old...and she has a sitter that comes into her home to care for the baby and apparently can't afford us both). She told me that she'd keep bringing her until I found a replacement. She told me that she was going to try keeping her home for a little bit and see how that goes.

I offered to take the little brother. I also offered, against a lot of your recommendations (sorry, I had to do what I thought was more beneficial to me), I offered that if both kids came to me, that I'd lower my rate to $25 a day instead of $30 for the older child, and once the baby turns 18 months, I'd lower his rate the same. She told me she appreciated the offer and would discuss it with her husband.

I was due to take the older girl this morning but the mom messaged me (for the first time since I offered to take both kids and she said she'd think about it), she told me she's been having a rough morning, and the last few days have been hard, she's been crying a lot, and that they'd be a little late but "it will be good for her to get out of the house and see her friends". She hasn't been here because of Christmas break/vacation, today is her first day back until, officially, "after I find a replacement". To say that it would be good to get out of the house and see her friends, after she just said less than a week ago that she was going to try to keep her home for a little bit...

No mention of my offer. Then she messaged me again and said, "I also wanted to ask you about the next two weeks, can she come 4 days one week and 3 days the next? My helper is on vacation!" I am SO confused. I am getting mixed signals.

I am starting to regret offering to keep the baby. It's obvious to me now that she just views me as a sitter, to be used whenever it's convenient for her. I certainly regret not listening to you all. :-(

[lolaland]

Trough the years I find this to always be true: whenever you don't stick to what works better for you and for your daycare, "it will always come back and bite you..." It is just a matter of time...

[Mom&Provider]

I have to agree with the pp'er. It would seem now that DCM is thinking you're more easily swayed since you've told her you would do something you previously would not, so she is going to see what else she can get. I'm not saying you made the wrong choice, all your points for doing it were valid and I myself may have done the same thing, but it does seem like they are taking advantage of you now.

I think this is your one and only opportunity to stop it and show them you are in fact still in control. They need to know that while you made them a great offer, it does NOT mean that they can make changes whenever they want! You need to start asking HER questions. Are they sending both kids here being the main one. In all honesty, their daughter already comes to you, it shouldn't take days to make a decision. She knows how both you and the *sitter* work, she knows you both personally, she should know what her choice is.

Has she ever asked you to change up the weeks previous to this? If not, I would tell her unfortunately you can't do that. Period. She might not like it, but you cearly don't like what is happening right now either and you need to re-gain some control.

[countrymom]

I agree with above. Something seems fishy. I would keep the regular schedual with the girl, and its not your problem that her helper is out.

also, why do you lower the rate when they turn 18month. Don't do that. I charge straight 55 dollars for 2 kids regardless of age.

I find it weird that she would keep sending her child till you find a replacement, what happens if it takes you a year will she still send the kid.

also, I bet you that they pay the helper more than they pay you, thats why they can't afford you.

[cheerfuldom]

you need to figure out what you want and be clear to this mom. I agree that the mom is sending mixed signals but I think you are too. I also have a suspicion that something else is going on here.....perhaps the other sitter is not being reliable or there are issues there and DCM is trying to string you both along until she sees who is the better deal for her.

Let mom know, X is what I can do and you need to decide by Y date otherwise your two weeks notice will begin. MAKE her decide! If she originally wanted you to take both, i dont see what the issue for her is!

[Willow]

I think if you considered it and came to the conclusion to put the offer out on the table, that you WERE sticking to what was best for you and your daycare. There must have been something about it that was appealing to you so please don't have any sort of regrets about that. You can definitely can be flexible within reason, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Just ask mom to clarify. If you need to be firm give her a date to decide by. Let her know you'd love to make this work but if it's not going to you need to fill those spots with other families who need them.