Little Girl Escaped While in My Care :(

[michelleshouse]

hi everyone! im a student/single mom single mom who used to work in daycares/ preschools before i had my son and now im finishing school to teach, anyway i baysit to make ends meet. only kids i know. Anyway today while i was getting lunch ready the little girl i was watching escaped through the back door, once i noticed she was missing i panicked checked the house (she hides in closets sometimes) checked the downstairs house (my son was there with his grandpa i thought she mightve seen them n wanted to join) then proceeded to check the streets only to find her four houses down with a neighbor. to keep it short ill say she was safe, the 3 Moms who had her were very understanding and tried to make me feel better but i felt horrible and very ashamed i was very dissapointed in myself. the next door neighbor who LOVES drama threatened to all police and i politley suggested she should i felt better if this was investigated and i would accept any consequences. police came and even they concluded it was an honest mistake n all they could do was advise me to be more careful. i even offered they call her parents n they said there was no need they' leave it up to me. i did immediatley. mom was upset (totally understandable) and dad came asap picked her up. I refunded their money for the day and made sure they knew i was terribly very very sorry and tht id understand if she didnt came back i wouldnt take it personal. i feel horrible...did i handle it the right way? is there anything i can do to make it up to the childs family? i feel soooo horrible i was sooo upset that now ive been crying and cant even eat. advice please?

[juliebug]

there's not much you can do now, but find ways so it can never happen again i put bells on all my doors out of my house so if some how the kids tried i would hear the bells.
I think you did what you could in the situation. You called the parents explained refunded there money there is not much else you can do but know every one makes mistakes and life happens.

Lots of hugs!

[kendallina]

I agree, there isn't too much you can do except rectify the problem. If I were you, I would write up a plan to show the parents about how you will make sure this will never happen again. I would then show this to them in the morning (hopefully they'll be there) and give timelines for when it will be completed (asap!). It's one of those extremely unfortunate things that can happen, especially at a busy time like lunch and with a child that's prone to hiding. Make sure that in the plan you include talking with this child about how important it is that she stays inside/with you the whole time. And, include a statement about the parent's talking to her and reinforcing the importance of staying with the provider the whole time. Good luck!! Big HUGS!

[QualiTcare]

you're better than i am - i wouldn't have called her parents. i would've waited until they picked her up and not blown the situation up - knowing i wouldn't let it happen again. i probably would've told the nosey neighbor she needed to call the cops cus there was getting ready to be an assault!

did they say if they were going to bring her back or not? hopefully they will. i don't know a parent alive that hasn't had a scare although i'm sure i'll hear from some now. don't beat yourself up about it - it was a mistake, but everything turned out okay. learn from it.

[Former Teacher]

I would have called. The parents might have been upset had you not. I know you babysit but are you registered with your state or anything like that? Being that the police was contacted, you may have to file a report with your state if you are.

Should it have happened? No of course not. Does it happen? Yes it does. Just take extra precautions MORE SO since you already know the child hides in closets etc.

Hugs!

[Childminder]

I had a boy that was always escaping......from his own home. I gave parents a door alarm and put one on my doors. Problem solved.

As far as your situation, the parents probably won't bring the child back and that is too bad but understandable. They will be more understanding but too embarrassed to admit it when the child escapes from their home (and she will).

[melskids]

how old was the child?

[nannyde]

hi everyone! im a student/single mom single mom who used to work in daycares/ preschools before i had my son and now im finishing school to teach, anyway i baysit to make ends meet. only kids i know. Anyway today while i was getting lunch ready the little girl i was watching escaped through the back door, once i noticed she was missing i panicked checked the house (she hides in closets sometimes) checked the downstairs house (my son was there with his grandpa i thought she mightve seen them n wanted to join) then proceeded to check the streets only to find her four houses down with a neighbor. to keep it short ill say she was safe, the 3 Moms who had her were very understanding and tried to make me feel better but i felt horrible and very ashamed i was very dissapointed in myself. the next door neighbor who LOVES drama threatened to all police and i politley suggested she should i felt better if this was investigated and i would accept any consequences. police came and even they concluded it was an honest mistake n all they could do was advise me to be more careful. i even offered they call her parents n they said there was no need they' leave it up to me. i did immediatley. mom was upset (totally understandable) and dad came asap picked her up. I refunded their money for the day and made sure they knew i was terribly very very sorry and tht id understand if she didnt came back i wouldnt take it personal. i feel horrible...did i handle it the right way? is there anything i can do to make it up to the childs family? i feel soooo horrible i was sooo upset that now ive been crying and cant even eat. advice please?

I don't know what State you are in or if you are licensed/registered or not. I also can't tell the age of the child in this post.

If this would happen here it wouldn't be left up to the police to decide whether or not it was a mistake. They are mandatory reporters and may have to call this into the State Child Abuse investigators and let them take it from there. The police themselves would just decide whether or not your action was a criminal offense. They obviously decided that it didn't warrant arresting you at that time.

No matter how you slice it this is child neglect. It was a mistake but it would definitely meet the standards of lack of supervision where I live. You have a high liklihood that the parents, someone in their circle of people, the neighbors, or even the officers that were called making a report to the DHS.

My best piece of advice is to call yourself and let them know what happened. You have a lot to protect. You have your education and future career to think about. You don't want a founded case of neglect that prohibits you from getting a teaching job in the future.

If you go to them yourself and be completely honest and work with them to develop the plan and skill set to avoid this in the future they may very well be willing to monitor you in the future and not conclude with a founded case that will go on the registry.

They may ask you to do safety classes and agree to periodic inspections by their workers. They may want you to notify all current and future clients of this situation. I don't know.

Everybody makes serious mistakes in their career. Yours is what I call a "near miss". The child came out unscathed and all you have left to deal with is your part in it. That's a way better deal than having something actually happen to the kid AND you having to deal with your mistake.

Some big mistakes are wrought from a single action but most are what I call a Perfect storm. They are a grouping of little mistakes that culminate into one big mistake. From what you have said I would think this is a perfect storm mistake. You are doing a number of things wrong and yesterday was the day it all came together and resulted in this possibly life altering mistake.

The things I would work on with a DHS plan is to insure them that you are carefully supervising all the children all the time. I have an adult in the room with the kids at all times. I never allow children up in a room without an adult. I know a LOT of providers who do allow this and are able to manage it. I know my skill set and I'm not one of them.

I have double locks on all my doors and one of them is high. I keep my doors locked at all times. I don't allow kids to free range my house. There is no hide and seek in my house. They aren't allowed to go into closets or freely go from one room to the next. They aren't allowed to go into the bathroom without asking first. They can't go outside without an adult. They must all play in the room with an adult watching them. I must know where everyone is at all times.

If I am here by myself (I have a staff assistant) and I have to leave the room and can't take the group with me then I put them in their play pens and/or beds and put TV on for them. They are not allowed to get out of bed without my telling them they can get out of bed. If they need to get out of bed they must call for me and I will come and tell them they can get out of bed.

I don't even allow them to open and close doors. We do that with every entry into and out of each room. They are taught from a young age to NOT touch the handles of the doors and not touch the gates or the gate doors.

So maybe some of those techniques will help you with a plan should you be asked to supply one.

I don't know if these are parents you just did a bit of babysitting for or if they are clients of a day care business. If they are regular clients of your business they may well bring the kid back to you for a few days or weeks. Don't let this fool you into thinking that all is forgiven and it will go away. Parents often continue to use a provider after a mistake like that because they want day care and need time to find another gig. They may "forgive" it long enough to get what they need in place. If you are a really low priced provider it may take them a little longer to find someone who is that cheap. If you are a highly paid provider they will most likely find someone quickly.

They may never be back too. It's hard to say. Just don't think you are out of the woods if they do come back. It's not really up to the parents or the cops to decide if this is a founded case of neglect. It's really up to your child abuse investigators. If your neighbor called the po po then you can be assured she will call the child protective. I would get to them before they got to me.

[safechner]

hi everyone! im a student/single mom single mom who used to work in daycares/ preschools before i had my son and now im finishing school to teach, anyway i baysit to make ends meet. only kids i know. Anyway today while i was getting lunch ready the little girl i was watching escaped through the back door, once i noticed she was missing i panicked checked the house (she hides in closets sometimes) checked the downstairs house (my son was there with his grandpa i thought she mightve seen them n wanted to join) then proceeded to check the streets only to find her four houses down with a neighbor. to keep it short ill say she was safe, the 3 Moms who had her were very understanding and tried to make me feel better but i felt horrible and very ashamed i was very dissapointed in myself. the next door neighbor who LOVES drama threatened to all police and i politley suggested she should i felt better if this was investigated and i would accept any consequences. police came and even they concluded it was an honest mistake n all they could do was advise me to be more careful. i even offered they call her parents n they said there was no need they' leave it up to me. i did immediatley. mom was upset (totally understandable) and dad came asap picked her up. I refunded their money for the day and made sure they knew i was terribly very very sorry and tht id understand if she didnt came back i wouldnt take it personal. i feel horrible...did i handle it the right way? is there anything i can do to make it up to the childs family? i feel soooo horrible i was sooo upset that now ive been crying and cant even eat. advice please?

I know how you feel. It happens to me twice with my first daughter who escaped from my house about a year ago. She escaped out of my house while I was sleeping (about 7am Saturday) and my second daughter woke me up that someone was at the door. It was police to ask me if I lost a child. He lost me but I didnt think it was my child since he said it is a little girl but I dont have a little girl. I told him wait let me check my other daughter around in the house. I look around the house and I started freak out. I asked him it is brown hair and he said yes. I was so mad with my daughter (she was 8 years old at this time). I explained to him that my daughter is deaf and has PDD. He said I am glad she is going back to you and I told him I was surprised because she never ran off like that before. It solved the problem. About three weeks later, my husband and I were sleeping (about 730am or 8am sat). I woke up with bad feelings because I knew my daughter is missing again. I checked the garage to see if it has open or not but it does open. I yelled at my husband and he woke up so we have to find her. I found her about two houses down that she knocked someone's door. They were confused because my daughter is not speaking at all. I apologized to them that my daughter is deaf and has autism so they understood it. She was in a huge trouble but the police came to my house within 1 min. She checked to make sure she is safe, that is all. I wanted to spank my daughter but I am sure she doesn't understand what she was doing wrong so my husband and i decided to buy lock with key inside and outside knob and turn the garage electric off. She no longer escape the house ever since. She is not doing it anymore but I still don't trust her.

It is not your fault because it happens one time. The best thing to buy a lock with key inside and outside knob so she can't escape it anymore. I am pretty sure she have done at their parents' house. If they are not bringing her back so I guess there is nothing much you can do about it. Don't be upset because it happens to everyone.

[JenNJ]

There isn't anything you can do now except make sure it never happens again. I would invest in locks high on the doors, safety gates, and simple door and window alarms.