Childhood Cancer Diagnosis- How To Help?

[jojosmommy]

Devastating news received over Christmas break. My neice was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She is 2 years old and had NO symptoms. She has whilms tumor cancer, it was found after her belly bulged out on her kidney. The tumor was attached to the kidney and has spread to one nearby lymph node. The doctors immediately scheduled surgery and the tumor, the nearby lymph nodes and the kidney has been removed.

She will soon start chemo and radiation which will last a minimum of 6 months. My SIL is 4 months pregnant and has an older child. My heart aches since this little one has spent her whole life in my daycare.

I am in desperate need of practical helpful resources for the family during this horrible time. We already have meals set up and my son has helped make my neice a tie blanket for use during treatments.

[SilverSabre25]

No experience, but i would imagine that emotional support for mom and the rest of the family would be very helpful. Offer to take the older child and do fun things so that mom can focus on the little one, offer to come and clean house, go shopping, that kind of thing.

[SilverSabre25]

Also, what a terrible, terrible time for your entire family. My heart goes out to everyone involved and I'll be sending healing thoughts and energy her way!!

[daycare]

No experience, but i would imagine that emotional support for mom and the rest of the family would be very helpful. Offer to take the older child and do fun things so that mom can focus on the little one, offer to come and clean house, go shopping, that kind of thing.

ditto.....just do what you can without putting yourself or your family out.....

I like what silver has suggested......

Just let them know that you are here for them and to let you know if there is ever anything that you can do to help....

So sorry to hear this news....breaks my heart to see children in pain

[e.j.]

No experience, but i would imagine that emotional support for mom and the rest of the family would be very helpful. Offer to take the older child and do fun things so that mom can focus on the little one, offer to come and clean house, go shopping, that kind of thing.

I was going to suggest the same things. I'd maybe add that since you had her in day care and she probably feels very comfortable with you, you might try offering to stay with the sick child at the hospital so mom can go home to take a shower and rest up a little. When my dd was younger and hospitalized, I didn't want to leave her alone. My husband was home with my son so getting home to shower/eat/take a quick was difficult for me. It was a huge relief to have my sister spend time at the hospital with my dd so I could go home, get in a quick shower and meal before heading back to the hospital.

[melilley]

So sorry about your niece. I don't have any suggestions to add on except that emotional support goes a long way! I will be thinking about your family.

[Scout]

Prayer to Saint Peregrine

O great St. Peregrine, you have been called "The Mighty," "The Wonder-Worker," because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fibre of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favoured with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)
Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

When my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer 3 years ago I learned that prayer and a positive attitude can go a long way. I said this every night after one each Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, and a prayer to St. Theresa. She never had a defeated attitude about her. She approached everything with grace and courage. She is completely fine today! A good doctor and positive attitude do wonders. I would also suggest that mom and dad get FMLA asap if they have not already done so. Any emotional support you can lend can be a big help. If they are going to need financial support you could do a benefit. We did this when my cousin was dx with testicular at 28 and 800 people came!! I just went to one a few weeks ago also for a little boy who's been in the hospital for months & lots of people came then too. A lot of places are more than willing to donate items so that you can make baskets for Chinese auction. Things from services to products were donated for these. Especially when it's a child, people will help a lot!! I am so sorry that your family is going through this. No family should go through anything like this. I will keep your family in our prayers.

[Blackcat31]

Here is a great link about how to deal financially, emotionally and mentally with cancer diagnosis in children. I am betting they have TONS of resources for you and for your family members.

http://www.cancer.org/treatment/childrenandcancer/whenyourchildhascancer/index

and check out this really cool program...... http://www.liddlekidz.com/rochester-...ta-cancer.html

Here are a couple other great links/programs for children and families...I am sure there are some great resources and/or info in them

http://curekidscancer.com/

http://www.gildasclubrochester.org/for-children.cfm

HTH


Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[Willow]

I'm so so very sorry to hear that



I'm a member of the Cole's Foundation prayer team. If you're at all familiar with Caring Bridge it's similar, but offers additional support for families of children facing serious illnesses.

A lot of what I've seen done and suggested are setting up prayer chains, offering to put up and keep updated a web page for the family so the parents don't have to answer so many phone calls, texts and emails repeating every detail 1000 times along the way (if that's something they'd be interested in Cole's Pages would be an excellent resource for them), collecting things like gas and restaurant gift cards from other family and friends so getting to and from appointments is less of a financial burden, if there are any extended hospital stays and you are able offer to spend the night watching over her so mom and dad can go home and rest, offer to take the older child out or overnight for a break and a bit of time just for them, or both kids so mom and dad can go out and have dinner or some time alone to keep their own relationship strong.

Much of supporting the child directly affected is supporting the family as a unit. Where I see families really start to struggle is when everyone else's needs fall by the wayside. So much of the focus will be on the peanut for a very long time, people often times forget they need to take care of themselves to help take care of her in the best way they can.

[Scout]

I'm so so very sorry to hear that



I'm a member of the Cole's Foundation prayer team. If you're at all familiar with Caring Bridge it's similar, but offers additional support for families of children facing serious illnesses.

A lot of what I've seen done and suggested are setting up prayer chains, offering to put up and keep updated a web page for the family so the parents don't have to answer so many phone calls, texts and emails repeating every detail 1000 times along the way (if that's something they'd be interested in Cole's Pages would be an excellent resource for them), collecting things like gas and restaurant gift cards from other family and friends so getting to and from appointments is less of a financial burden, if there are any extended hospital stays and you are able offer to spend the night watching over her so mom and dad can go home and rest, offer to take the older child out or overnight for a break and a bit of time just for them, or both kids so mom and dad can go out and have dinner or some time alone to keep their own relationship strong.

Much of supporting the child directly affected is supporting the family as a unit. Where I see families really start to struggle is when everyone else's needs fall by the wayside. So much of the focus will be on the peanut for a very long time, people often times forget they need to take care of themselves to help take care of her in the best way they can.

OH, I forgot about caring bridge. My mom set up a blog to go through her journey so she wouldn't have to keep repeating the story to everyone. She documented it all. It wouldn't be a bad idea if your family did this so the parents could concentrate on being there.

[MarinaVanessa]

No experience, but i would imagine that emotional support for mom and the rest of the family would be very helpful. Offer to take the older child and do fun things so that mom can focus on the little one, offer to come and clean house, go shopping, that kind of thing.

Yes this!! can you start a volunteer chain with your/her friends and family?? The more people that volunteer the less time/frequency you have to volunteer.

We did this with my friend when his daughter was diagnosed with leukemia and needed to to treatments. You could do this for your niece's family just as easily.

Have a specific someone come on each day of the week when they will be needed to help with meals, cleaning and grocery shopping, laundry etc. If you and/or her are close to your church groups this is another great place to find volunteers willing to help out. It was great with my friend because 5 retired women from his church each volunteered once a week to help during the day (daytime meals when they were home, picking up his other kids from school and babysitting them/helping them with homework etc while he was with his DD doing treatments) so the rest of us (5 of us) only had to cook one dinner meal a week and we rotated one saturday or sunday a week to help out for a few hours.

If you can get at least 10 people commited to this you can really make a difference.

Even if people can't help out during the day they can still make meals and pick up their laundry, take it home, wash it and fold it and return it. It really can make a difference.

My friends daughter kicked leukemia's @$$ BTW . Prayers to you and your niece's family.

[Unregistered]

I am so sorry to hear of your niece's diagnosis. I cannot even imagine what your entire family is going through.

I also live in Minnesota and am a volunteer with the American Cancer Society. They have many, many programs to support families going through this.

Here is a link to get started. http://www.cancer.org/treatment/supp...services/index

Do they live in Minnesota? If you can tell me where, maybe I can find some other sources of support for them. Mayo clinic in Rochester also has an excellent reputation for treating childhood cancers.

Again, I am so sorry. So many advancements have been made. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

[BumbleBee]

There's a little guy here in town who was dx 3 months ago w/stage 3 brain cancer. Here's some things the community has done to support the family-(he has 2 older sibs & a baby brother born 5 weeks after dx)

1. Gift cards to retaurants that do take out around the hospital he was at

2. Gas cards for all of the driving for treatment/therapies

3. Meals

4. Clothes/toys/gifts for not only the child w/cancer but for his siblings

5. Disposable cameras & gift cards for a local Walgreens that does photo developing

6. Taking care of the other kids for free (obviously only people the family trusts & knows)

7. Sitting with the child w/cancer at the hospital so mom/dad could get some rest/eat/shower/etc. (Again people the family knows/trusts)

8. Sitting w/mom/dad at hospital while child was in surgery (5 so far) and bringing things to occupy the time (puzzles, sudoku, crosswords, etc)

9. Phone chargers for both mom/dad's vehicles & for the hospital

10. Portable dvd player

11. Gift basket w/snacks, drinks (if you know what mom/dad like to eat/drink), quarters for vending machines (if the hospital has them) & lotion for dry hands from all of the handwashing.

12. Picking up laundry to be washed & returning it clean & folded (make sure you check for allergies/sensitivities to detergent etc.)

I'm sure there is more but that's what I can think of right now.

May I add your family to my prayer list?

[saved4always]

No experience, but i would imagine that emotional support for mom and the rest of the family would be very helpful. Offer to take the older child and do fun things so that mom can focus on the little one, offer to come and clean house, go shopping, that kind of thing.

I agree with these suggestions, too. Sending prayers thier way for complete healing of thier little one.

[mema]

So sorry to hear Poor kiddo.

Dh and a friend do a fundraiser here for bears that they give to a few places in town to hand out to kids going thru cancer themselves or have parents with it. Actually, it is in a few weeks! I can see if I can get a couple of bears for her and the older child if you would like. It's not much, but something to brighten their smiles!

Check out Brighter Tomorrows and the Optimist Club. They may have some support groups. If you want any help with those things, pm me and I can get you the info my dh has.