No Schedule?!

[Kym2098]

It's hard for me to understand how parents don't put an infant on a schedule!
I have an almost 5mo old and he wasn't here all last week.
I asked if there were any changes.. If there were longer times between feedings and mom said since baby was home all last week with dad, he feed baby whenever he whimpered!!
They have no set schedule for him but yet I try to keep one here and write everything down for them too.
Life is easier with a schedule!
Thankfully I only have him today and tomorrow!!

[Crazy In Mo]

I don't put infants on a schedule. Never have. They are fed when they are hungry sometimes every 2 hours and sometimes it's every 5 hours. Same with naps they sleep when they are tired at no certain time.

[cheerfuldom]

I put babies on a routine but you always have to be a little flexible with babies. I dont do a strict schedule. I dont think many parents try very hard to keep kids on routine because they are in survival mode. Just trying to keep things afloat till they send them back to daycare. We providers have the kids for most of their waking hours so we are the ones dealing with the problems that come up from lack of schedule....kids who cant self soothe, dont have good eating habits, are exhausted from lack of sleep, etc.

[Scout]

I fed my son on demand, both actually. I think sometimes babies go through growth spurts around this time also. My son would sometimes eat every 1 1/2 hours during these! Maybe he was actually hungry when dad fed him. As a parent that used to work, I have to tell you that I did what worked for me during the hours with my son. You can only ask for parents to cooperate with your schedule on their own time, but, I wouldn't expect it. KWIM? When parent's have their kids, they often have to run errands or go to parties so I don't think it is unreasonable that they can't always stick to a schedule where you stay put most days. KWIM? He will adjust shortly!

[Kym2098]

I don't do a strict schedule but for me (and I don't have as much experience as others here) have found a routine or schedule needed around 6mo.
And of course there's flexibility! But I don't feed at every whimper or hold an infant at every whimper.
Only having one daughter who is 7yo now was on a good routine by the time I went back to work when she was 4mo old. I was consistent.
But to each their own!
That's why I come here for advice and such!

[LaLa1923]

I don't do a strict schedule but for me (and I don't have as much experience as others here) have found a routine or schedule needed around 6mo.
And of course there's flexibility! But I don't feed at every whimper or hold an infant at every whimper.
Only having one daughter who is 7yo now was on a good routine by the time I went back to work when she was 4mo old. I was consistent.
But to each their own!
That's why I come here for advice and such!

I feel you! I have a 6mo old little girl and she has no schedule........yikes

[Willow]

I'm all about routines, but set schedules are too rigid for infants imho.

About the only thing I shoot for is a semi-fixed sleep schedule after a peanut hits 5-6 months old or so. Same wake up time, about the same morning and afternoon nap times, and same go to bed for the night time. What falls between can vary greatly as growth spurts, teething, vaccinations, illness etc can all influence when an infant wants to eat and how active they're going to tend to be.


I learned about and practiced AP with my own kids, and it's definitely something I strive to work with my daycare kids. I have two 6 month olds I've had since they were each 6/7 weeks old. They are always fed on demand and tended to to the best of my ability. My attentiveness isn't always 100%, but I get as close to it as I can. They are neither spoiled or unreasonably demanding.


A spoiled, demanding or out of whack child can be the result of ANY style of parenting. That's certainly not exclusive to those who are very attentive to the child's individual needs.

[LaLa1923]

I think routines are essential. I think children really thrive from them and can be much happier. I've raised a few kiddos and I once was a parent that worked outside the home. A routine isn't about what's easier on the provider/ parent, it's about what's best for the child. I had to run my errands and such around their set naps and eating times. Sleeping was only ever done in their own beds when they were home. Sometimes it wasn't always what I wanted to to, but it wasn't abut me.

[Willow]

I think routines are essential. I think children really thrive from them and can be much happier. I've raised a few kiddos and I once was a parent that worked outside the home. A routine isn't about what's easier on the provider/ parent, it's about what's best for the child. I had to run my errands and such around their set naps and eating times. Sleeping was only ever done in their own beds when they were home. Sometimes it wasn't always what I wanted to to, but it wasn't abut me.

I am a mother too, to two of my own and previously 15 foster children....who's also worked outside the home for a time....but I think that's sort of a moot point. Even someone who's never had experience with children can see the differences plain as day imho so we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one

I personally believe children who's primary caregivers ascribe to AP's core beliefs thrive on them and can be much happier too.

I have yet to meet a child who's overall quality of life was compromised simply because they weren't forced into cookie cutter routines and expectations. I have to the contrary met plenty of kids who have become exhausted, anxiety ridden, attention seeking, tantruming terrors who are heck bent on regaining some semblance of control in their very calculated lives.

I'm not at all saying all children who have routines thrust upon them turn out that way, but many many have in my experience which has led me to the feelings I have about this today. I suppose that's how we all find our way to the opinions we hold.

I personally think being under tended to and over scheduled to the gills is one of the reasons why todays kids are the way they are. Hot messes, most of them, most of the time. It's tragic.


My own mother was a nut about schedules and what was socially considered "normal" and it drove her nuts when I refused to institute all that in my own home. Her personal opinion was that parents needed it all just as much as kids do. I was an incredibly miserable child for a myriad of reasons and she knew it plain as day, but truly believed she was doing what was best and to this day I don't fault her for it.

As my kids got older she conceded that what I chose not only worked, but worked amazingly well and both my parents happily hopped on board. We are quite often complemented on how calm, rational, reasonable, well adjusted yet hilarious and fun loving my kids are by complete strangers. They don't sass and rarely even go so far as to bicker with each other. They don't beg for junk at the grocery store check out or throw tantrums. They have chores even though they do not earn an allowance, they eat their vegetables and don't care much for tv or video games. They are respectful of their peers and while they don't love homework they are angels in school and very smart, to the point that their principal has called to personally tell me how wonderful they are.

Yes I nursed them until they self weaned.
Yes I co-slept with them.
Yes I "wore" them.
Yes I tended to them when they cried.
No I didn't let them cry it out.
If they were hungry they ate.
If they weren't they didn't.
If they were tired they slept.
If they weren't then they didn't.
If they needed my attention, I gave it to them.
If they needed my guidance, I gave it to them.

I credit taking things back to basics. All I ever did was meet their needs and I really believe I am reaping the benefits of that.

I do much of the same with my daycare group save for the obvious impossibilities, and they are such a well behaved, cohesive happy bunch. I can't help but acknowledge the trend that goes as far back as the very first family I ever nannied for in my teens. That's where I learned about it, and I feel so very blessed that I did. I do think my family as well as the kids in my care have benefited greatly that early experience and it's subsequent practice.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Because I tend to multiple kids from multiple families it is important that I have a schedule/ routine for our day. Is it always perfect, no. Babies run on their own agenda until around 5 or 6 months and usually by then they have one morning nap up by 9:30 so we can have a walk etc. I offer them a bottle upon waking. At lunch time I either feed them or give them a bottle as their parents deem appropriate. After lunch everyone at my house naps. I do lay all babies down to nap awake. They wake when they wake. If they are here late then they usually nap again from 4-5 when they are little.
Infants I understand "their own agenda" It is the over one set that I hate days off because they need that routine. Most of my parents try to keep my naptime of after lunch for me on the weekends but most of my kidlets arrive on Mondays with way too little sleep!
I don't think parents realize the importance of routine, good food, outside play and sleep! They think their kids can function on 7-8 hours a night!

[MarinaVanessa]

I think that when it comes to infants you have to be flexible with "schedules" especially when it comes to feeding. Infants should be fed on demand. Routines are good so that the infant can feel secure in knowing what comes next so a sleep and play routine is good but anything other than that is asking a lot from an infant.

[LaLa1923]

When I say routine, I don't mean something rigid and strict. If the babies are hungry then they eat, they do have somewhat of set nap times after 6 months. We do go with the flow a lot, but I think it's important to allow enough time for them to sleep, and eat when they need to. My 6mo old DCG is lovely and her mom wants her to have a routine! I think to each their own, if you ap or not. Doesn't make you a better parent/provider. I would never co-sleep, it's just too dangerous. They sleep and eat when they need to but there is a little bit of structure. Kids like when they know what comes next.

[providerandmomof4]

I fed my son on demand, both actually. I think sometimes babies go through growth spurts around this time also. My son would sometimes eat every 1 1/2 hours during these! Maybe he was actually hungry when dad fed him. As a parent that used to work, I have to tell you that I did what worked for me during the hours with my son. You can only ask for parents to cooperate with your schedule on their own time, but, I wouldn't expect it. KWIM? When parent's have their kids, they often have to run errands or go to parties so I don't think it is unreasonable that they can't always stick to a schedule where you stay put most days. KWIM? He will adjust shortly!

I agree with this. But my kids weren't in daycare, my husband and I worked opposite shifts because we didn't want to put them in daycare. Now...I get irritated with no schedule for dck but really I don't think dcp's understand what we go through. A lot of families don't have the routine and schedule that we get used to running a daycare.

[Willow]

I would never co-sleep, it's just too dangerous.

OT but I'd like to correct this misconception - co-sleeping isn't dangerous at all, as long as it's done using common sense.

The World Health Organization, UNICEF and the NHS are just a few that strongly advocate it and label it best for infants under the age of 6 months.


Unfortunately Americans seem to have trouble in the common sense department necessitating the AAP's oppositional stance, but really, elsewhere in the world it's absolutely the norm and is actually considered safer for newborns and infants in particular.