Attachment Parenting In A Childcare Setting. How Could This Possibly Work!?

[Willow]

Gretchyn - the core belief in regards to AP is that responsiveness is best.

If a baby cries it's not because they have some ulterior motive. If a child wants your attention it's not because they are spoiled. If they act out it's not because they're naughty and need punishment. In all they are in need of something from you....feeding, holding, nurturing, engagement, guidance etc.

Pushing schedules isn't encouraged, it's about being respectful and responsive to the child's individual needs. That doesn't mean you have to serve lunch at 4pm, but it may mean you don't force an unhungry child to eat. If a child comes tired you might let them nap outside of your regular nap time. If they need to be held a bit more for awhile then you provide that.

When you're hungry you eat. When you're tired you sleep. When you're bored you find something to do. When you are lonely you engage others.

All AP is is respecting that children have those same feelings and deserve to have those feelings and needs tended to when THEY feel them, not necessarily when is most convenient for the adult caring for them.



AP was not designed for the irregularities of large group centers, but many aspects are very executable is a small group family care setting.

[crazydaycarelady]

AP does not work in the dc setting. I had ONE kid that was AP and trying to watch 5 other kids and her was M~I~S~E~R~A~B~L~E!! Never again!

[Willow]

AP does not work in the dc setting.

It's definitely a personal choice, but saying it never works isn't fair or accurate.

It can, and does.


Just depends on the family and the what exactly the individual provider is comfortable with.


One experience isn't enough to throw out such broad sweeping generalizations.

[MamaG]

I think it is that sort of parent that gives AP a really bad name. I didn't wear/etc my son but the essence of AP at least to me is the essence of quality care in general - responsiveness to the child & the child's wants/needs. There is nothing that precludes appropriate behavioral boundaries & that is certainly not doing the child any favors.
I would never leave a child alone to cio at naptime/etc. But infants simply cannot recieve the same sort of physical contact etc in a childcare situation as they can with a parent. But they can still have responsive care & thrive

Exactly! Tons of people think AP means let your child do whatever he wants. That's just not it. AP to me also means having quality time with the children, responding to their needs in a way that nurtures them.

Good luck!

[MamaG]

Gretchyn - the core belief in regards to AP is that responsiveness is best.

If a baby cries it's not because they have some ulterior motive. If a child wants your attention it's not because they are spoiled. If they act out it's not because they're naughty and need punishment. In all they are in need of something from you....feeding, holding, nurturing, engagement, guidance etc.

Pushing schedules isn't encouraged, it's about being respectful and responsive to the child's individual needs. That doesn't mean you have to serve lunch at 4pm, but it may mean you don't force an unhungry child to eat. If a child comes tired you might let them nap outside of your regular nap time. If they need to be held a bit more for awhile then you provide that.

When you're hungry you eat. When you're tired you sleep. When you're bored you find something to do. When you are lonely you engage others.

All AP is is respecting that children have those same feelings and deserve to have those feelings and needs tended to when THEY feel them, not necessarily when is most convenient for the adult caring for them.



AP was not designed for the irregularities of large group centers, but many aspects are very executable is a small group family care setting.

Well said! I second this.

[MamaG]

My friend is the owner of the business since she is the one who is financially invested. I have invested numerous hours but no actual money. In the beginning I was to be in charge of the day to day operations. Paperwork, schedules, creating lessons and activities...that sort of thing. She is a counselor and would be available occasionally to do the emotional side of the daycare, since she has very limited experience in a daycare setting. She praises me daily on the smooth flow of the daycare. However, she does not feel the need to stick with the established routine. I was gone for two days and it was literally a mess when I got back. She said tending to the children's emotions was more important than anything else, and then it was too late in the day to follow my cleaning schedule...she was tired.

I mostly want advice on how to incorporate the AP if possible. If you think it s not possible, can you give reasons and examples?

Thanks

She may give plenty of compliments but I don't see an onze of respect. I agree with those who have suggested you find a new job.

[MarinaVanessa]

These are the 8 basic principles of AP according to Dr. Sears

Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
Feed with Love and Respect
Respond with Sensitivity
Use Nurturing Touch
Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
Provide Consistent Loving Care
Practice Positive Discipline
Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

In what I researched and from what I read from Dr. Sears explanations I came to the conclusion that it's opened to interpretation to fit the needs of each family. Those 8 points seem pretty obvious points to me anyhow so it can work in a daycare setting. The only problem is that there aren't any guidelines to follow so these need to be clearly defined by your daycare before you promote AP or you can find yourself in a mess.

For example to one parent AP can mean lots of cuddling, soothing touches and language, cooing while breastfeeding/feeding a child, tender responses, no bedding in a crib, positive reinforcement and taking time out of the day to dedicate to your child. To another parent AP could mean natural birthing, no diapers, publicly breastfeeding until the age of 5, responding to cries immediately, baby wearing the majority of the day, family beds at home and sleep "nests" at DC, never saying "no" and wanting their child to be held at all times. Family #1's version of AP could definitively work in daycare while family #2 can be harder to work with. See what I mean. There aren't any defined guidelines.

The way that willow explained AP is a lot like RIE (Magda Gerber's Educaring approach) which is definitively doable in childcare but again that's one interpretation.

[My3cents]

you know what? I am starting to doubt that your friend/boss even knows what AP is. I have a feeling that she is using the AP label as an excuse to be a permissive parent. You should find out what exactly HER definition of AP is.

First of all, you cannot do AP in a group setting because AP stands for attachment parenting. Your job is not to parent children! They already have parents. It is offensive to many parents that a provider is saying they practice AP with the kids....essentially saying that a provider can be everything to a child that a parent would be....that the provide is just the same as the parent and the parent is replaceable. If you continue with the advertising, you should phrase it in a better way. "We support those that practice attachment parenting"

Secondly, in case you didnt know, AP was begun with the practices of Dr. Sears and the 7 B's. Here's a link....http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/att...t-ap-7-baby-bs

If you check the link, 3 of the B's cannot be done by a provider (birthing, breastfeeding, bedding with baby) and a 4th cannot be done for more than one or two kids at a time (baby wearing). Present this list to your friend/boss and ask her for specifics of how she would suggest you incorporate what B's you can into the program. IMO the main way that you can get closer to AP practices it to reduce your ratio. A 4 to 1 ratio would be tolerable but the less the better, for AP. AP is meant to be practiced between one child and their parent(s). Even if a parent had twins or kids close in age, it still wouldnt be what you are doing of 8 to 1 ratio.

It sounds like you are doing most, if not all of the dirty work with the daycare here. Your friend gets most of the perks. She walks into a room and tosses around ideas and turns her wild child lose in the room and you have to clean up the mess. Seriously, start looking for a new job. You are dealing with a lot more right now than just this AP thing.

Bingo to this!!! and also Bingo to what MarinaVannessa gave you for advise.

You will resent your job in no time at all and hate going to work if you continue like this. you need to figure out more of the financial end of things and a clear description of who is doing what. It does sound like your doing all the crud work while your friend makes up the rules because she forked out the front money.

COMMUNICATION is KEY and you don't have that going at all- If you can't communicate between each other now, how on earth are you going to be on the same page for communicating to the parents-

If you were in charge of her daughter then having her undermine you in front of the child will never work, she has to be able to trust that you have good judgement for what is best for the child or discuss it in private with you if she does not agree.

Don't want to burst your bubbles but your headed down a road of disasters. I advise you to pull out and start your own business after much research on which direction you want to go, or regroup and put it all back out on the table and come up with a plan that works for both of you that is CLEAR

Best-

[Willow]

These are the 8 basic principles of AP according to Dr. Sears

Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
Feed with Love and Respect
Respond with Sensitivity
Use Nurturing Touch
Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
Provide Consistent Loving Care
Practice Positive Discipline
Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

In what I researched and from what I read from Dr. Sears explanations I came to the conclusion that it's opened to interpretation to fit the needs of each family. Those 8 points seem pretty obvious points to me anyhow so it can work in a daycare setting. The only problem is that there aren't any guidelines to follow so these need to be clearly defined by your daycare before you promote AP or you can find yourself in a mess.

For example to one parent AP can mean lots of cuddling, soothing touches and language, cooing while breastfeeding/feeding a child, tender responses, no bedding in a crib, positive reinforcement and taking time out of the day to dedicate to your child. To another parent AP could mean natural birthing, no diapers, publicly breastfeeding until the age of 5, responding to cries immediately, baby wearing the majority of the day, family beds at home and sleep "nests" at DC, never saying "no" and wanting their child to be held at all times. Family #1's version of AP could definitively work in daycare while family #2 can be harder to work with. See what I mean. There aren't any defined guidelines.

The way that willow explained AP is a lot like RIE (Magda Gerber's Educaring approach) which is definitively doable in childcare but again that's one interpretation.

I think where people get confused is when they assume AP means a caregiver has to be on the extremist end of "crunchy" and follow that standard to the letter every single day.

No where does it say that is the definition or expectation.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Sounds to me like the owner is using the phrase "attachment parenting" as an advertising gimmick. The "P" stands for parenting, not daycare. I don't get this at all. Obviously you won't be breast feeding the babies and Co-sleeping with them all at nap time, and.isn't it understood that children will be responded to with nurturing kindness? Gimmicky. Clever ad campaign. The eco friendly, organic approach is great, but the AP angle is silly. My opinion.