Overwhelmed

[providerandmomof4]

I have two babies in care full time. (8mths and 12mths) The 8mth old is my granddaughter. I also have a full time three year old and three kiddos that only come in the afternoon. The most I ever have in care is 6. I have had up to 9 children in care and not been this overwhelmed. Wait...come to think of it, yes I was, and that's why I cut back. So...it was a really stressful week and I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably going to have to let my 12 mth old go. I hate, hate, hate, to do it but I felt so overwhelmed today that I felt like going into my room, closing the door and crying. I didn't, but I did think that I've got to figure something out cause I'm losing my mind.

The 12mth dcg is usually such a good baby but the last few weeks I would swear that she was deathly sick. She cries constantly when she is awake and it just breaks my heart. Dcm took her to the doc and they advised it was just a cold. Oh...and teethingNo fever, no throwing up, just super fussy. This has been going on for two weeks. My granddaughter is super high maintenance as of late. My granddaughter will not nap unless in a quiet setting and just can't fight it any longer, and then she only naps 30 mins -tops. Today one baby was sick and the other tired and I couldn't do a thing with either one to make them happy. Anywhere I would be in the room, both babies would crawl up to me and hang on my legs crying..wanting picked up.

Plus, my other dcb's are just climbing the walls pretty much left to supervised free play while I go back and forth between the babies. Not the kind of provider I want to be. So...I came to the conclusion that I really have to let my 12mth dcg go. I'm just sad that I feel that I can't hang in there because my baby is my main chunk of income and her dcp are so great... but I really feel that I've reached my limit with the way things are going

[MyAngels]

I wonder if your 12 month old is suffering from "holiday syndrome?" I've noticed that babies that age tend to get more high maintenance around this time of year and I attribute it to the hectic nature of life around the holiday season. It normally calms down once life gets back to normal, at least for me.

Good luck, and I hope things get better quickly for you .

[Blackcat31]

Could you hire a helper instead? Maybe just having an extra set of hands would help you make it through this phase....assuming it is just a phase with the holidays, sickness season and the age of the baby.

Seems like as soon as the little ones get to be about 14-15 months old, they change completely.

I wish I had an easy answer for you but kudos to you for recognizing the fact that something needs to change and that you are stressing out.

Hang in there....

[providerandmomof4]

So I was talking with my dch about the way I was feeling and he pointed out (which I already knew) that my stress really is a combination of a lot of factors right now. A main stresser is one dcb that has many health issues that parents weren't truthful about. This is the one I've written about that dcp refused pick up and freaked out on me, screaming at me, the last time he was sick...Well, he was having trouble breathing yesterday and dcd didn't say a word about it at drop off, but his older brother advised dcb had been having trouble but they didn't have time for a breathing treatment before drop off, and would do it later...after work. Seriously? so I'm a bundle of nerves with this issue, and fed up with dcp's and their disregard and indifference to this issue. And just like I knew that I would do, I am apprehensive to exclude him to avoid a scene. My stomach was in knots wondering if he was going to get worse and wondering how his dcp would react if I called them. I kept him all day despite my better judgement. I really feel that if I termed this family, I would be much more at ease, even with crying babies... I felt happier even thinking about not having to deal with this issue and family any more....Yet I always feel guilty for the child involved which is completely innocent in the issue. Well....talking about it really helps ty!

[MyAngels]

So I was talking with my dch about the way I was feeling and he pointed out (which I already knew) that my stress really is a combination of a lot of factors right now. A main stresser is one dcb that has many health issues that parents weren't truthful about. This is the one I've written about that dcp refused pick up and freaked out on me, screaming at me, the last time he was sick...Well, he was having trouble breathing yesterday and dcd didn't say a word about it at drop off, but his older brother advised dcb had been having trouble but they didn't have time for a breathing treatment before drop off, and would do it later...after work. Seriously? so I'm a bundle of nerves with this issue, and fed up with dcp's and their disregard and indifference to this issue. And just like I knew that I would do, I am apprehensive to exclude him to avoid a scene. My stomach was in knots wondering if he was going to get worse and wondering how his dcp would react if I called them. I kept him all day despite my better judgement. I really feel that if I termed this family, I would be much more at ease, even with crying babies... I felt happier even thinking about not having to deal with this issue and family any more....Yet I always feel guilty for the child involved which is completely innocent in the issue. Well....talking about it really helps ty!

I'd term this family and keep the 12 month old. At least you know the 12 month old will probably grow out of it, whereas this dcp isn't likely to change ::.

I see why you'd feel for the kid, though.

[Holiday Park]

I have had drop in baby that is a failure to thrive case. I came to the realization that it was more the moms fault for this baby's situation and why cps got invloved. And the last time they brought her mom told me she decided to take her off the fortifier (to add to her donor breast milk) and just give her regular similac instead (without consulting the dr) And to only give her 3ounces . I had been letting he drink 4-5oz , as muc as she wanted. And I was fed up with hearing mom put a restriction in how much she can eat that I got mad and blurted out that I would not limit to 3 oz ad she would get as much as she wanted. Ahe said ok . But I never heard back from them after that day. And now I dont even want to be involved anymore teying to help this baby when the parents are of no help . I have to call the cps case worker back and let her know the update because when she called me , a few weeks ago I was on the moms side thinking she was doing everything I was telling/suggesting she do. After observing her reaction to me when I talk to her and the things she would say about the sotuation, I realized she was just pretending to listen to me and let it go out the ther ear while still continuing to do what she shouldn't do. I told her that f she was going to take her baby (9 months old and less than 10lbs, skinny little baby in 3months clothing that has severe excema too) off the fortifier suppliment ( it has higher calories and protien to help gain weight) she needs to be using the higher 22calorie formula , not regular similac, if she is taking her off the breast milk. Because breast milk has a higher fat and calories than formula, it is actually stupid to do what she said she did by switching to regular formula when her child is so severely under weight. And to tellme to mix only 3 oz at a time, oh no . I even saw some enfacare on clearance a babies r us and texted her about it too . It got to be too heartbreaking having to watch her in this situation. As a result f her malnutrition ( from when mom was exclusively nursing as didnt know she wasnt making enough milk and sctually drying up) and from mom&dad never letting her feet touch the floor she became behind in her motor skills and she is JUST now beginning to play by herself on the floor and start to scoot aroud a little bit, without crying to be constantly held. Shes so high maintanance and its a sad situation . I cant keep her on a schedule either so it messes up the whole day when she comes. To the point whete I can't sit down and eat or anything. So I sent her the new handbook and raised rates, and will also have to probably just stop taking her as drop in if they do decide to contact me again.
My point is I can relate when you want to help out a child in need, but it gets to the point where we have to put our own family's needs first , if that means our sanity .

[cheerfuldom]

Why would you term a full time child over a part time child with problem parents?

[providerandmomof4]

Why would you term a full time child over a part time child with problem parents?

Both are full time children. I thought that I was being overwhelmed by two high maintenance babies. But after further consideration, and taking a look at the big picture, I think a major source of my stress is the 3yr old with his health issues and his unreasonable parents. I care for dcb's big brother too in the afternoons and he takes a full time spot with part time rate. So I'd really like to rectify that situation as well and only take full timers in the future.

[cheerfuldom]

Both are full time children. I thought that I was being overwhelmed by two high maintenance babies. But after further consideration, and taking a look at the big picture, I think a major source of my stress is the 3yr old with his health issues and his unreasonable parents. I care for dcb's big brother too in the afternoons and he takes a full time spot with part time rate. So I'd really like to rectify that situation as well and only take full timers in the future.

oh I see. well it sounds like you have a plan, just need to execute it. i promise, we all have been thru. just rip that bandaid off and get rid of that family asap.