Why Is It So Hard......

[mema]

to put your child to bed??? OMG! 2 families

DCG apparently hasn't been sleeping much at home. Goes to bed, but doesn't sleep. Waits for mom and dad to leave and then plays, reads, what have you. Wakes up super early and doesn't go back to bed. They tell her to go to bed, but don't follow thru with making sure she does. She shares a room, which she doesn't need too. They have an extra and actually she use to have that room.

When she gets here, she is a total mess. Crabby and crying, doesn't want to listen, takes everyones toys. When the babies are napping in the morning I have been having her lay down too because otherwise she is unbearable. She will sleep for 30 minutes in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. When she becomes a toy taker, I tell her she has to play alone until she can handle playing with friends.

Aside from going to her house and putting her to bed or moving her room myself, what else can I do?? I want to tell mom and dad to just separate her and make her go to bed, but they probably wouldn't listen and I don't want to sound like a big "B".

DCF 2. Dcb wakes up super early. They just let him get up and play. So by the time he gets here, he has been up for like 5 hours and well, a total mess too. Why the heck would you want your 2 year old up so stinkin early? They have horrible evenings, you would think they would learn that if they made him go back to bed until a decent time in the morning, maybe their evenings would be easier (and not to mention his and my days).

So, any advice on what to do with these two?

[Blackcat31]

Yep. When the kids become to crabby to manage and require a nap outside of normal napping times, I call parents and tell them they need to come pick up their child.

I am NOT paid enough to deal with the fallout of parental choices like that.

They kept them up late, they need to have the consequence....not you.

If you do this once (maybe twice) I am betting it won't happen again.

[daycare]

Because I run my daycare like a preschool, I am very strict on this. It falls back to "if your child cannot participate as normal, they need to be home."

If I just babysat, I don't think that it would bother me. But there is nothing worse when you are on your walk to the park or teach and you have a kid that is screaming I want to go to sleep. Makes for a horrible day for everyone else and I won't make my DCK suffer because parents can't set boundaries.

However, if it was because of an emergency, then of course I would be a lot more flexible and understanding

[Unregistered]

Their should be a book about teaching parents about the importance of naps/bedtime!

For the little girl, if I were her parent's I would take the toys/books etc. out of her room at night (or at least lock them up somewhere, where she can't get to them). Also they need to have a bed time routine like: free play or park time (NOT TV!), dinner, maybe an after dinner walk (about 15-20 minutes), bathtime, 1 or 2 bedtime stories, lights out. after a while she will get used to the routine and fall asleep earlier. They need to help her get her energy out at an appropriate time, because once she gets a blood rush it takes a while for her heart rate/breathing to slow down, which is why she is so alert and awake.

Another thing you suggest is a deep breathing stretching exercise about 15 minutes before bed time. Teaching her to breath slowly will make her tired (I used to have take a nap after doing this in my college theater class). Just have her lie down on her back (knees bent) on a clean flat surface (like a mat or carpet) with one or both of her hands on her tummy. She should breath in slowly through her nose and out slowly through her mouth. Then have her close her eyes and imagine there is a "beach ball" (the diaphram) in her tummy and the ball slowly gets bigger when she breaths in. After a few minutes of breathing slowly she will be calmer and more relaxed and most likely very tired due to a slow heart rate and rhythmatic breathing.
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As for the boy, maybe his parents should concider giving him a slightly later bed time. Even though kids need about 10-11 hours of sleep that is a long time for one setting- thats why they get naps during the day! so he would need only about 8 hours at night and about 2 or 3 hours during the day (1 long nap or one short morning nap and one longer afternoon nap). he also should not be allowed to just get up and play when his parents are alseep- his parents wouldn't want him to play at your daycare when you are alseep, right? Because espesually at 2 years old accidents happen. He may get bored with his toys and try to find other rooms that might have "toys"- like in the bathroom and in the kitchen, YIKES!

I think some parents are just tired when they get home from work and pick up their kids from daycare that they can't wait until it's time for the kids to go to bed- I'm not judging them or saying they are bad parents or anything like that; just that they are tired and want more alone time from apart from work. Also because they think kids need a lot of sleep but forget that naps during the day count (and are essental). Or you get some parents that say their children don't sleep through the night and they don't want them to take a nap at daycare- but it helps their brains recharge and reboot to help them absorb what they learned! Plus they prevent "Crankyitist"! They also don't realize their child shouldn't be asleep for over 10 hours straight!

[MamaG]

Like pp if the child can't keep up or participate in our very busy day they can't stay at my house. It's written very clearly in my handbook. I homeschool so we have lots to do and no time for drama.

[mema]

I guess I'll have to work on my backbone and start sending her home. I don't have anything in my handbook other than if your child is too ill to participate, so should I inform them that that includes too tired before I send them home??

[Blackcat31]

I guess I'll have to work on my backbone and start sending her home. I don't have anything in my handbook other than if your child is too ill to participate, so should I inform them that that includes too tired before I send them home??

I would re-word and say that children unable to participate as normal will be excluded.

I know it is tough but honestly why do people expect us (child care providers) to have to pick up the slack for the choices they make with their children.

Personally I don't care what rules and routines people have when raising thier children, as long as it doesn't effect my job.

If you are worried about sounding harsh or backlash from the parents just say, "Jimmy really needs to be picked up. I don't think he got enough sleep and he is making the day miserable for the other kids".

I usually throw a "I would do the same if your child was unable to have a great day due another child's mood" type sentiment so parents know I am not singling them out.

That is the biggest hurdle I think parents have is understanding that we must do what is best for the group as a whole and not just their child....kwim?

[Play Care]

I guess I'll have to work on my backbone and start sending her home. I don't have anything in my handbook other than if your child is too ill to participate, so should I inform them that that includes too tired before I send them home??

My thought is that if the child is in meltdown mode because of the overtiredness, then I would just say "your child is not well enough to participate in the day and needs to be picked up." I would think you would have parents refuse to pick up kids, and I don't know if you would have a legal let to stand on should you call CPS the way you would if the child were actually physically ill.

That said, as a provider I can only do so much. I can offer some suggestions, but I can't force parents to do anything. So if the child's behavior is such that it is incompatible with my child care, they would have to move on.

[itlw8]

I think grandkids taught me this lesson.

Oh I knew it all for years the parents were lazy. Now dgs and dgd spend many nights here. We have the same bed routine here and at home. bedtime had to be moved up because of early school bus.

I read a book, we have calm down time and tucked them both in by 7:45 . Some nights thy go right to sleep and other they bounce off the walls for an hour or more.

It reminds me how hard parenting can be. So now when dcm says she found Miss P still awake at 10 when she checked on her I really do understand.

makes us both wish the kids had allergies. LOL