Problems With 2 Daycare Families!

[Angelwings36]

Last year, I was hospitalized suddenly for a week, and almost lost my vision completely. I was laying in a hospital bed, texting my dcfs about the situation in a group text. One of the dcms then called me on my cell phone and said, without any hesitation, "Should we be looking for another day care?" I was beyond shocked, and my feelings were incredibly hurt. I thought it was the most insensitive thing ever.

I did not end up going blind, and I kept this family until the end of the year. It did sour my feelings towards them for the rest of the year.

If you truly can't see how to move past the insensitive treatment, you should probably end the working relationship.

I'm glad that someone else understands how I felt in that moment. I know that I can't make my personal problems my families problems but I do expect to be treated in a humane way. If I found out someone else was dealing with a medical condition the first thing that would come out of my mouth is, "I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this." I think it's just appropriate social skills and general respect. I couldn't imagine asking a question that could potentially cause that person more stress during the time they were dealing with whatever it was they were dealing with. To me that is wrong. Dcm knew I would be open again on Monday and payment wouldn't be fixed until January 1st regardless so she had plenty of time later to inquire about the payment. Although dcm's comment is not my only reason for wanting to term it was enough to help me make the final decision that she didn't belong in my program.

[MamaG]

I'm glad that someone else understands how I felt in that moment. I know that I can't make my personal problems my families problems but I do expect to be treated in a humane way. If I found out someone else was dealing with a medical condition the first thing that would come out of my mouth is, "I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this." I think it's just appropriate social skills and general respect. I couldn't imagine asking a question that could potentially cause that person more stress during the time they were dealing with whatever it was they were dealing with. To me that is wrong. Dcm knew I would be open again on Monday and payment wouldn't be fixed until January 1st regardless so she had plenty of time later to inquire about the payment. Although dcm's comment is not my only reason for wanting to term it was enough to help me make the final decision that she didn't belong in my program.

I do understand. As I'm sure everyone else does too. It's just we have had the pleasure of working with selfish cold hearted parents way more often then you (it seems) and expect nothing less then this kind of rude response. We have already learned this lesson. It's not shocking, unexpected, or against my policies. You can't fix stupid. I ignore stupid tho and gladly terminate stupid also. But then I have a policy that I can terminate for any reason or no reason without advance notice if I so choose.

[Angelwings36]

I do understand. As I'm sure everyone else does too. It's just we have had the pleasure of working with selfish cold hearted parents way more often then you (it seems) and expect nothing less then this kind of rude response. We have already learned this lesson. It's not shocking, unexpected, or against my policies. You can't fix stupid. I ignore stupid tho and gladly terminate stupid also. But then I have a policy that I can terminate for any reason or no reason without advance notice if I so choose.

I'm sorry I didn't mean for my comment to come off as in no one else understood, that was not what I was getting at, at all. I also don't know that that you have worked with "selfish, cold hearted parents" way more often then me I just think the difference between us is even though I expect at times to get a rude response to certain issues I do not accept it. I would always find it shocking as to me it's not appropriate behavior. I would not allow one of my children to act in an inappropriate social manner so I would not tolerate an adult parent doing the same. I also have a policy where I can term families if they are not following my policies themselves, disrespecting me, treating me inappropriately or harassing me if I choose. As I said previously I realize that I can’t make my personal problems my families problems but I do expect to be treated appropriately at all times and this means WITHOUT RUDENESS as well. All of my other dcf’s showed me compassion, sympathy and empathy during this difficult time for me. I was wished well, emotionally supported by other dcm’s that went through the same thing as well as one dcd and told to take as much time as I needed for myself from all families. When I opened this morning all of my families where extra kind to me and concerned with how I was doing. I did not expect all of this a simple “I’m sorry for your loss” was suitable. Or an “ok no problem” would have also been acceptable to me when I informed families I needed to close. I did not personally choose for this to happen it was something that happened to me that I could not control and I did feel bad for taking the time off, which my families are aware, but I sure would not expect to be treated inappropriate due to my inability to control the circumstances I was in.

I had to go back and edit out the last paragraph as I realized MamaG was not the person that made the comment that I was referring to. Sorry for that.

[MamaG]

I'm sorry I didn't mean for my comment to come off as in no one else understood, that was not what I was getting at, at all. I also don't know that that you have worked with "selfish, cold hearted parents" way more often then me I just think the difference between us is even though I expect at times to get a rude response to certain issues I do not accept it. I would always find it shocking as to me it's not appropriate behavior. I would not allow one of my children to act in an inappropriate social manner so I would not tolerate an adult parent doing the same. I also have a policy where I can term families if they are not following my policies themselves, disrespecting me, treating me inappropriately or harassing me if I choose. As I said previously I realize that I can’t make my personal problems my families problems but I do expect to be treated appropriately at all times and this means WITHOUT RUDENESS as well. All of my other dcf’s showed me compassion, sympathy and empathy during this difficult time for me. I was wished well, emotionally supported by other dcm’s that went through the same thing as well as one dcd and told to take as much time as I needed for myself from all families. When I opened this morning all of my families where extra kind to me and concerned with how I was doing. I did not expect all of this a simple “I’m sorry for your loss” was suitable. Or an “ok no problem” would have also been acceptable to me when I informed families I needed to close. I did not personally choose for this to happen it was something that happened to me that I could not control and I did feel bad for taking the time off, which my families are aware, but I sure would not expect to be treated inappropriate due to my inability to control the circumstances I was in.

The reason why I commented on your original post was because your comment regarding the fact that I should be thankful that families didn’t pack up and leave because I took a week off of work. Honestly, I should not have to feel guilty or worried to take 4 unexpected days off for medical reasons which also means I shouldn't have to be concerned with being thankful that families didn't pack up and leave over the 4 unexpected days I had to close due to a miscarriage. It happens and when it does I expect to have GOOD families that understand the circumstances I am in. I guess it is situations such as these that help “some” providers weed out some ugly parents.

I never said that you should be lucky they didn't leave. And I do not except the behavior but since I need money I don't terminate based on what I think is a selfish comment. I ignore it and raise above it. I would have turned it around on her.

[Angelwings36]

I never said that you should be lucky they didn't leave. And I do not except the behavior but since I need money I don't terminate based on what I think is a selfish comment. I ignore it and raise above it. I would have turned it around on her.

Yes I am sorry I realized afterwards that you were not the persont that made that comment, so sorry for that. I also wouldn't have terminated just based on dcm's comment, however, as someone else did say it likely would have made me feel cold towards dcm moving forward if I did keep her and eventually I likely would have been looking for reasons to term her so I didn't have to see her everyday, kwim? In what way would you have turned it around on her?