Am I Being Cruel?

[justgettingstarted]

I have just two dcks and DS today. We got through breakfast and then one sneezed and blew snot all over his hands then started coughing. Dang! almost made it to the weekend! DCB's mom has a cold and I was hoping we could avoid it spreading to everyone. DS's birthday party (fairly expensive reservation already made at a climbing/sliding place) is next week and of course Christmas is the next week. I know this is a nasty cold that is lingering. I DO NOT want DS or myself to get sick (but mostly DS). So I put sicko in the nap/changing room which is right off of the playroom. I set him up with his favorite toys and put a gate up to keep the other kids out. He can see the others and I can see him, he can hear the music we listen to during free play. The room is nearly as big as the playroom and has a soft rug to play on. But, he started crying and looking very pitiful at being separated and its breaking my heart. I tried to console him. I'm going in there every 10 minutes or so to talk and check on him but I feel awful. Am I wrong to separate him? As a mom would you be ticked off to hear your child was treated like this? He's feeling fine, no reason to go home and I know its difficult for mom to miss work. Also, I agreed to watch him late tonight so she could go to a birthday dinner for a friend.

[daycarediva]

I have just two dcks and DS today. We got through breakfast and then one sneezed and blew snot all over his hands then started coughing. Dang! almost made it to the weekend! DCB's mom has a cold and I was hoping we could avoid it spreading to everyone. DS's birthday party (fairly expensive reservation already made at a climbing/sliding place) is next week and of course Christmas is the next week. I know this is a nasty cold that is lingering. I DO NOT want DS or myself to get sick (but mostly DS). So I put sicko in the nap/changing room which is right off of the playroom. I set him up with his favorite toys and put a gate up to keep the other kids out. He can see the others and I can see him, he can hear the music we listen to during free play. The room is nearly as big as the playroom and has a soft rug to play on. But, he started crying and looking very pitiful at being separated and its breaking my heart. I tried to console him. I'm going in there every 10 minutes or so to talk and check on him but I feel awful. Am I wrong to separate him? As a mom would you be ticked off to hear your child was treated like this? He's feeling fine, no reason to go home and I know its difficult for mom to miss work. Also, I agreed to watch him late tonight so she could go to a birthday dinner for a friend.

That's against regulations here. I cannot confine a child to a separate area. I would be pretty mad if I was dcm. Honestly, dcb was probably already contaminating your play area when he was symptom free yesterday and the exposure has already happened. Your best bet is to have him wash hands very often, give DS some Vitamin C and a good dinner and nights rest.

[Binkybobo]

You poor thing. I know the feeling.

[providerandmomof4]

I wouldn't separate him. I feel like whatever he has; all the daycare kids have probably already been exposed. If he is well enough to be there then he should be able to take part in activities and be around other kids...

[sharlan]

I understand where you are coming from. Somedays I wish I could put masks on all of my kids, but that's not happening.

As a parent, I would definitely not be happy that my child was isolated the whole day.

[MamaBearCanada]

I wouldn't separate him. I feel like whatever he has; all the daycare kids have probably already been exposed. If he is well enough to be there then he should be able to take part in activities and be around other kids...

This. And as a parent I'd be upset if my child was isolated for a cold.

[Scout]

While I understand your reasons for doing so, I have to say I can not agree with it. There are other ways to try to prevent the spread. Almost constant hand washing, load them up on vitamin C if you can. I would not want my child to be confined because he was getting a cold. I would hate to think how the little guy feels being gated off in his own area. All this said, I am not judging you! I just wouldn't do it here.

[nanglgrl]

As a parent I would not be upset if my child were in a separate area. Millions of kids play on their own for hours a day all around the world. In fact my 4 year old is currently in her room playing by herself. This would only be ok with me at daycare if conditions were how you said. As a provider I would probably call and see what CCRR thought. I would also call mom and give her the option of picking up or having him play separately.
I never get when people say that the child has probably already exposed everyone else. Maybe he has only exposed 1 or 2 children, maybe none...but if he is continuously present and spreading those germs he WILL expose everyone and a bad cold will spread like wildfire and will be in your daycare for a month if not all winter. When my son and a daycare child had HFM I closed for the week. They both came down with blisters on a Sunday which says the were exposed by another daycare child the previous week. I was told that I might as well stay open because everyone was probably already exposed but I decided to close and none of the other children, all who still put things in their mouths, developed any symptoms. If I had stayed open I have no doubt that more would have become sick.
I have asthma and so does one of my daycare children. A normal cold to most people is horrible for us. I can't cough up the phlegm so I end up coughing until I can't breathe, I get exhausted and can't eat because I will cough and vomit so maybe I'm a little partial. I hate cold germs. I would rather have to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes than deal with a cold. ::

[Mommy2One]

As a mom would you be ticked off to hear your child was treated like this? He's feeling fine, no reason to go home and I know its difficult for mom to miss work. Also, I agreed to watch him late tonight so she could go to a birthday dinner for a friend.

As a mom, I would want to be given the choice of whether to leave my child in separation or pick her up. My daughter's old enough and verbal enough now that she could sort of understand the idea of not getting the other children sick, but she still wouldn't be having a fun day if she had to be separated from her playmates. It sounds like this little guy doesn't understand why he's being "punished" and is pretty unhappy.

I understand not wanting illness to ruin fun plans but I think in this case you're being overly cautious and a bit unfair to the child and his mother because of them. Especially given this quote "He's feeling fine, no reason to go home and I know its difficult for mom to miss work."

Do you have any sort of illness policy in place (or even previous discussions/events/etc.) - If so I think you should follow with what you would normally do if it weren't for the birthday party/Christmas plans.

[justgettingstarted]

Sick DCB wasn't here yesterday and DS wasn't here the day before so he hasn't been exposed. I used his time in separation (maybe 30 minutes) to disinfect and now DS and other DCB are playing in DS's room so sick DCB can be in the play room with the toys he already touched. Although I don't really see how this is any different from the previous arrangement you all seem very upset over them playing in separate rooms. Honestly, they often play in separate rooms here. Its certainly not against any regulations. I have two rooms that I use as play rooms and sometimes DS wants to invite one of the kids to play in his room. Also, sometimes, some kids are playing in the playrooms while others are in the dining room for art time. I was just feeling a little bad because he cried but he stopped after a few minutes and is happily playing by himself now. I texted mom and she has no problem with him playing separately. She knows how hard I try to keep her DS from getting sick (she moved him here from a center because he was getting sick constantly and now he very rarely does and never with anything worse than a cold).

[Blackcat31]

As a parent I would prefer that you just denied my child attendance rather than isolate him alone all day. (It's against licensing here too).

[Nellie]

Sick DCB wasn't here yesterday and DS wasn't here the day before so he hasn't been exposed. I used his time in separation (maybe 30 minutes) to disinfect and now DS and other DCB are playing in DS's room so sick DCB can be in the play room with the toys he already touched. Although I don't really see how this is any different from the previous arrangement you all seem very upset over them playing in separate rooms. Honestly, they often play in separate rooms here. Its certainly not against any regulations. I have two rooms that I use as play rooms and sometimes DS wants to invite one of the kids to play in his room. Also, sometimes, some kids are playing in the playrooms while others are in the dining room for art time. I was just feeling a little bad because he cried but he stopped after a few minutes and is happily playing by himself now. I texted mom and she has no problem with him playing separately. She knows how hard I try to keep her DS from getting sick (she moved him here from a center because he was getting sick constantly and now he very rarely does and never with anything worse than a cold).

I think it is different because you had put up a gate and the child was not allowed to play with the group. If it were free will and the child chose to play by himself in a separate room that is one thing, but you keeping him from the group is another.

[Play Care]

That would be against regs here. Some states require child cares to have a separate area for mildly ill children, I don't know that they can be "gated" in though.

[crazydaycarelady]

I have a playard gate type thing in my dcroom and it is allowed. I would maybe be okay with my child being in there, but not segregated to a seperate room.

I KNOW the feeling of not wanting your kids to get sick. I always had this fear the week before we would go on a long planned (expensive) vacation and a dckid would show up sick.

I agree that your kids were probably already exposed anyway.

I never get when people say that the child has probably already exposed everyone else.

Usually by the time someone is actually sick they are past the contagious period.

[Crystal]

As aprovider who does care for mildly ill children from time to time, I understand your reasoning for secluding him to an area where there are no other children he can come in contact with and toys that only he has access too so that you can sterilize them prior to other children having access to them.

I see no harm in what you have done, other than I would, prior to secluding him, give the parent the choice of what he/she prefers for the child. I would have called the parent and given the option of picking up or allowing seclusion and rest for the day. I would also be sure to check in witht he child every few minutes, rather than 10, to ensure that he felt safe, secure and loved and would have given ample art supplies, books and a few toys of his choosing.

BTW....how old is the child?