How Would You Handle.....

[TGT09]

How would you handle a 7 year old "threatening" you?

Thought we were having a blast today. Took 7dcg and her 9dcb to this place that has a bunch of jumpy houses. They seem to really like it.

We get home, while she's eating lunch.....she says "Miss _____, just remember that we stopped going to our last babysitter because she was mean to us and she made us eat food when we didn't want to. You're like that sometimes too".

Well this felt like a total threat on my end like, "I'm going to tell my Mom" etc. After a somewhat enjoyable morning, I flipped. I said well then tell your Mom, you don't want to come here anymore. And, I guess we won't be going to the library afterall, also that I don't like to be threatened by children and I'll be sure to talk to her mom about it. (That was all I said).

I honestly didn't know what else to do or say. I was blown away that a 7yo would do this.

I do NOT make them eat but I do make them try everything and the rule in my house is to eat all fruits on your plate at any sitting.

What would you do? How would you have reacted? I'm an over-reacter but I don't feel bad for the things I said. This child does not think before she talks and I hope this teaches her to think about things beforehand.

[Crystal]

Sounds to me like she is trying to manipulate you. I would not mention one word to her and I would address it with Mom at pick up time. Report what her daughter said to you, tell her that you feel she is attempting to manipulate you into not having her eat what she doesn't want to eat, that you feel it is innapropriate for her to speak to you in a way that is meant to get you to comply with her wishes and ask her to please handle it accordingly.

Then it's in Mom's hands and she'll either agree with you and deal with it, or she'll follow the path she has already shown her daughter is the best way and move on to another program so that her daughter does not have to deal with learning that not everything in life is as we always want it to be.

[Crystal]

I'd like to add that I would not MAKE them eat all of their fruit. Put it on their plate, they eat it or not, but they don't get more of other stuff if they don't eat it. They can then choose to eat or be hungry until the next meal or snack.

[TGT09]

She's also one of those kids that doesn't eat all of lunch or snack and then complains that she's hungry.

[DCMom]

Sounds to me like she is trying to manipulate you. I would not mention one word to her and I would address it with Mom at pick up time. Report what her daughter said to you, tell her that you feel she is attempting to manipulate you into not having her eat what she doesn't want to eat, that you feel it is innapropriate for her to speak to you in a way that is meant to get you to comply with her wishes and ask her to please handle it accordingly.

Then it's in Mom's hands and she'll either agree with you and deal with it, or she'll follow the path she has already shown her daughter is the best way and move on to another program so that her daughter does not have to deal with learning that not everything in life is as we always want it to be.

I agree with Crystal completely and I speak from experience.

In my case, she was just 4 and in time out for whatever it was. My time outs for the older kids is standing in the corner. And she did not like it one little bit.

This little girl kicked the wall and screamed and carried on like I have never seen before. It ended when she screamed~ 'I am going to tell my mom that you hit me and she is going to call the police and they are going to arrest you!!!!' Yes, she was 4.

I did not say a word to her, I simply picked up the phone and dialed her mother and let her mother listen to the tantrum for awhile, then I told her what she had said. I also told her that she might want to start looking for other care, because I wasn't going to put up with it.

That was 5 years ago; they are still here. She never threw another fit like that, though she still tries to manipulate me at times.

BTW~the mom is sprinkler mom from a vent post last week, so you kinda know where she gets it from.....

[Crystal]

well, then, I guess she stays hungry. I would remind her every time she says she's hungry "well then, you should have eaten when it was meal/snack time then. Remember, next time we eat, that if you don't eat it all you will get hungry and have to wait until meal/snack time" Hopefully she'll realize WHY she's always hungry. Good luck

[Crystal]

I agree with Crystal completely and I speak from experience.

In my case, she was just 4 and in time out for whatever it was. My time outs for the older kids is standing in the corner. And she did not like it one little bit.

This little girl kicked the wall and screamed and carried on like I have never seen before. It ended when she screamed~ 'I am going to tell my mom that you hit me and she is going to call the police and they are going to arrest you!!!!' Yes, she was 4.

I did not say a word to her, I simply picked up the phone and dialed her mother and let her mother listen to the tantrum for awhile, then I told her what she had said. I also told her that she might want to start looking for other care, because I wasn't going to put up with it.

That was 5 years ago; they are still here. She never threw another fit like that, though she still tries to manipulate me at times.

BTW~the mom is sprinkler mom from a vent post last week, so you kinda know where she gets it from.....

OMG! That would be hard to not respond to. BUT, sounds like you handled it perfectly!

[tenderhearts]

I probablly would have just said, "I'm sorry you didn't like your other daycare and if that's how you feel about me then maybe you need to talk with your mom". I also don't make them eat anything but I remind them that snack isn't for such and such hours and I don't want to hear complaining, they all learn quickly that sometimes that means they better eat. I also do a little bribery sometimes, if they eat everything they can have a cookie if they have been good that day. I dont' do that all the time but sometimes if we've been having a bad day or 2.

[melskids]

i have a 7 year old DCB who tells me all the time he doesnt want to be here or that i am mean. (i am sooo not mean to him). he is just used to ruling the roost at home and getting his way. i tell him all the time, if he doesnt like me, he doesnt have to come here anymore. its funny though, he hugsme every night when he leaves, and tells me he loves me. most days he calls me mom all the time. i think he is actually craving the discipline.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

i have a 7 year old DCB who tells me all the time he doesnt want to be here or that i am mean. (i am sooo not mean to him). he is just used to ruling the roost at home and getting his way. i tell him all the time, if he doesnt like me, he doesnt have to come here anymore. its funny though, he hugsme every night when he leaves, and tells me he loves me. most days he calls me mom all the time. i think he is actually craving the discipline.

That's encouraging for me, then, if you think a difficult child may be craving that discipline. Maybe that's what I've been dealing with! We have a 6 yr old who is always yelling about how much he hates coming to daycare and how no other daycare makes you...clean up, take a nap...whatever he doesn't want to do at the moment. And when he's in time-out for whatever reason and mad about he, he yells, "Just say it Ms ________ . Say you hate me! Just say it!"

[Chickenhauler]

How would you handle a 7 year old "threatening" you?

Thought we were having a blast today. Took 7dcg and her 9dcb to this place that has a bunch of jumpy houses. They seem to really like it.

We get home, while she's eating lunch.....she says "Miss _____, just remember that we stopped going to our last babysitter because she was mean to us and she made us eat food when we didn't want to. You're like that sometimes too".

Well this felt like a total threat on my end like, "I'm going to tell my Mom" etc. After a somewhat enjoyable morning, I flipped. I said well then tell your Mom, you don't want to come here anymore. And, I guess we won't be going to the library afterall, also that I don't like to be threatened by children and I'll be sure to talk to her mom about it. (That was all I said).

I honestly didn't know what else to do or say. I was blown away that a 7yo would do this.

I do NOT make them eat but I do make them try everything and the rule in my house is to eat all fruits on your plate at any sitting.

What would you do? How would you have reacted? I'm an over-reacter but I don't feel bad for the things I said. This child does not think before she talks and I hope this teaches her to think about things beforehand.

I'd have looker her in the eye and asked "And I'm supposed to care.......why?"

follow up with

"You aren't the first dck I've had, nor will you be the last, but while you are here, you will follow the same rules as everyone else.....any questions?"

[QualiTcare]

i've had kids when i worked in a center tell me that they HATED it there - always when they were mad of course.

i'd usually say, "so do i. i guess you can talk to your mom about it and see if she'll let you go somewhere else."

that probably wasn't the best answer, but it worked. they usually got quiet and moved on really fast. i think they wanted me to say WHY?! we do this and that.....blah blah blah....

i gave them NO ammunition and that's what they want.

[melskids]

That's encouraging for me, then, if you think a difficult child may be craving that discipline. Maybe that's what I've been dealing with! We have a 6 yr old who is always yelling about how much he hates coming to daycare and how no other daycare makes you...clean up, take a nap...whatever he doesn't want to do at the moment. And when he's in time-out for whatever reason and mad about he, he yells, "Just say it Ms ________ . Say you hate me! Just say it!"

ive always believed that "bad" children only act that way cause they are missing something in their lives, whether its attention, discipline, love, whatever. as soon as i can pick up on what the issue is, i try to offer what they need the best i can, and remain consistant. like someone else (i think here) said once, the child who least deserves a hug, needs one the most.

of course, i've also been known to answer the same way chickenhauler did and that usually stops them in their tracks...

and i agree with qualiTcare as well. dont give them any ammunition. sometimes the less said the better.

[boysx5]

I have had a six year old all summer who tries to do this and I just tell her my house my rules at home you may be allowed to do that but here your not. I must say that I will not be watching her next summer. I do make her peanut butter and jelly everyday because she eats nothing else. I didn't put her on the food program because I was not going to waste food on her when she won't eat what I serve. I try to be nice about it but somedays I have to really hold back