Allow Child In Play Room During Interview?

[Holiday Park]

When you have an older child interview 3-5+ years old , do you allow them in the main area/play room during the interview? The only times I have had interviews with older kids, and did this it was with bad results. They either acted horribly , or messed up the toys (making mess , being destructive etc... ) .

Well, i have an interview this afternoon at 4 for a 4 yr old who has been to several day ares and it not working out , and even most recently a nanny. Although the nanny left because she was diagnosed with early Alzheimer . She mentioned her son having occupational therapy and had talked about how advanced he is ( academically) . I didn't get a chance to ask many questions because she was more all about scheduling an interview and I didn't want to sound pushy or "giving her the 3rd degree" by asking questions over the phone.
I don't know why a 4 year old would have O.T. But her hanging caregivers so often in such a short period is a red flag so I'm anticipating he might have a behavior problem ( She says he's "very active" ) and I don't want him messing up my play room or spreading germs only for me or her to end up not wanting to go further with it.

Anyway , I have a formal living room between the front door that leads into the play room . We could sit in the living room and talk there and not allowing him in the play room right away could help me to see how well he listens ?
What is your "system" on how you conduct an interview while the (older child) is there with mom too . With little babies I will hold& talk to them , and/or allow them to play on the floor nearby or with all the toys. I've never had problems with kids under 2 during an interview.
Last time (this past Summer) I had a couple come with their 5 year old. He sat there with a bratty look on his face and refused to talk to anyone . They said he was mad because he didn't want to be there, but also said he was shy . He looked like he was having an attitude/just being a brat to me. Fortunately they didn't call back .
Also, do you allow them to bring other people along ? I can't stand it when someone is already on their way and they are like " oh by the way, my so&so friend/family member (or 2-3 friends/family members) are coming along"
I feel for my safety , and so I am not feeling like I have their whole social network interviewing me too, I should tell them "Sorry but interviews are only for the parent" .

[Crazy8]

I do allow children to be in the playroom, but we then conduct our interview in there - I won't leave them in there unattended. If parents would rather sit at an adult height table then the child comes with us to the kitchen. I will give them a coloring book or puzzle to do while we are talking.

[Holiday Park]

Edited to say: Yeah, that's what I meant. Interview IN the play room (there is a couch ) , OR in the living room, where it's separate.

Yeah, It would feel more warm and friendly to the parent&child. I guess I just had mostly bad experiences with older child interviews . I do think I will put my son down for a late nap,so the child won't try to mess with/hurt my son (hes just 14 months) . I just see SO many misbehaving/rough kids these days compared to when i was a kid myself 35+ yrs ago . Parents are lenient and child led and that is not my style. I have had older kids before that were WONDERFUL, but they started from an earlier age.

What about them bringing extra people ? I can understand if it's gramma, who will be a pick up person. But their friends and everybody else...I'm not entirely comfortable with that . It's more people to talk to/entertain and its too distracting from the interview and paying attention to the child. It also makes it take much longer too.

[itlw8]

I give a tour and we talk as we go. I rarely sit down with a parent unless it is an infant.

[MarinaVanessa]

My interviews run in a 3 step process ... 1) telephone interview 2) in person off-hour interview 3) in person during-hours interview.

During my 2nd interview (step 2) I always put EVERYTHING except a few toys away. This works for me because my toys are all sorted in bins with lids so I just leave 2 maybe 3 small bins out and stack the rest away but still visible. When the family arrives the child can play with the bins I do leave out at the kids table. I don't let them play with anything else. If the child is old enough to ask if they can play with something else in the closed bins I just smile and say "Those toys are for during the day sweetie, but when you come back again you can play with them" and I've never had a problem with kids sulking or insisting.

During the last interview it's really set up much like a play date. I invite a parent and the child back during DC hours so that I can see how they get along with the other kids so during that time they are allowed to play with any toys available.

[melilley]

My interviews run in a 3 step process ... 1) telephone interview 2) in person off-hour interview 3) in person during-hours interview.

During my 2nd interview (step 2) I always put EVERYTHING except a few toys away. This works for me because my toys are all sorted in bins with lids so I just leave 2 maybe 3 small bins out and stack the rest away but still visible. When the family arrives the child can play with the bins I do leave out at the kids table. I don't let them play with anything else. If the child is old enough to ask if they can play with something else in the closed bins I just smile and say "Those toys are for during the day sweetie, but when you come back again you can play with them" and I've never had a problem with kids sulking or insisting.

During the last interview it's really set up much like a play date. I invite a parent and the child back during DC hours so that I can see how they get along with the other kids so during that time they are allowed to play with any toys available.

I like your 3 step interview process. What a great idea...having the parent and child come back during daycare hours!

[ninosqueridos]

I do ALL my interviews off-hours IN the playroom. We sit on the floor and chat while the kids play. It gives me a chance to observe the child, parent-child dynamic, and also interact with the child. Knowing this child is "high energy" is a good reason to all be in the playroom...so his parents can keep an eye on him.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I do them where the toys are present and it really helps me. When a parent has no authority over their child and doesn't make them clean up their mess then I know I don't want to build a professional relationship with them. Same goes for a child saying, "NO!" when the parent says it is time to go and then the parent stalling or scrambling for a way to try to leave. No authority over the child = no chance in being accepted here. I want someone who will say something like, "I know it is so much fun to play here but Mommy said it is time to go." or even "Mommy said it's time to go." or even just picking them up and saying, "Say bye bye!"

[SilverSabre25]

I do ALL my interviews off-hours IN the playroom. We sit on the floor and chat while the kids play. It gives me a chance to observe the child, parent-child dynamic, and also interact with the child. Knowing this child is "high energy" is a good reason to all be in the playroom...so his parents can keep an eye on him.

This!!!

It also gives the parent a chance to see *me* interact with the child and see my guidance/discipline tactics at work (if applicable).

[Abigail]

I made up my mind long ago, after an experience and also I don't have kids that old yet, that I will not take anyone older than 2-young 3 year olds when they enroll. I'll take younger as well but my oldest kids are all turning three now and I like having kids that grow up with us instead of just jumping in at age 4 or 5.

Anyways, I do phone interviews or email exchanges. I prefer to advertise online because I like the calm convenient options of asking questions without someone hearing my hesitation, . I ALWAYS ask, "Has your child attended daycare before? If so, how was that experience for you?" and if they answer that question it pretty much seals the deal. One of my best families answered saying how many daycare's they'd been too but it was all something about the daycare home or setup or routine or discipline so yes it scared me making me think I wasn't good enough, but the kids are amazing and it's been a whole year now! Best of luck with your tours. I don't allow parents to come during daycare hours because you just don't know now days who is faking an interview just to see what children attend your daycare. I'm big on privacy and respect it. If the parent doesn't trust me from our face to face interview and my interaction with their child then it is not meant to be.

[Holiday Park]

Well, I must have really developed some really great intuition from past experiences,and what i have learned about different behavior issues. To make a long story short, the child was not only what I anticipated,but a lot worse. I feel he has issues that mom hasn't even found out about (one of which could very well be Aspergers/high functioning Autism) . On top of that, mom lacked firm discipline and he was VERY disrespectful,to the point of throwing toys,hitting her,and downright not listening AT ALL,the entire time. She is having a tough time finding some one who will be the right fit, because he doesn't fit into a normal group setting. I thought having an older one would be less difficult than adding another infant/toddler to the "group" (I only have 1-2,beside my 14 month son) . He became very upset when my toddler came near him ,or touched him. I feel if I were a NANNY,with my own personal experiences & knowledge I would be able to handle him one on one (provided mom allowed me to be as strict as i needed) . But in the set up I have in my home, he is NOT a good fit in any way,shape or form. Especially with me having a FT infant,and PT toddler my son's age. I just couldn't even begin to meet his needs. So I have the task of turning her down :-( .

It's interesting how even my kids (the older three, 7-9-15) know how to asses another child and determine if he/she is a good fit or not.


On a good note, a lady who I previously did drop in care for many months back, got back to me again through email, about possibly starting her toddler here in February.

[Holiday Park]

Yeah,after tonight's experience I started realizing how lucky I am to have a small group that IS growing up with one another right now. How they are learning habits here from early on, instead of trying to deal with pre-existing issues /baggage.

[ninosqueridos]

Good luck refusing care. Hope that child gets the help it seems he needs.

[Scout]

I set up an easy craft such as painting a wooden cutout to keep the child busy while we talk.

[daycare]

i do a few things.

i set up an activity, like playdough that will not require too much assistance from me or the parents.

I do allow them to play in the play room, however, when I see them take something out, I will tell them please put that away before you pull something else out.

I then will turn to the parent and tell them that here we teach them to be accountable for their actions and they will learn to clean as they play. One bucket of toys out at a time. The parents LOVE to hear this and often when they see their child start to move on from one toy to the next, will start to remind them of the rule. If they don't, I will. I let the parents know that it will take time for them to learn this new rule.

Then will move the conversation on to how important consistency is and this is why I love to have the kids full time or at least 3 days a week with the parents participating in our schedule the rest of the time...