Potty Training...........

[daycaremom76]

Need some advise on policies! I have a DCM that insists on potty training dcg she will be 3yrs in March 2013 and really doesn't show any efforts (here) to potty. So today when DCM dropped her off she said dcg has been successful all weekend pottying and wanted to know if she can start sending her in panties...........I told her no cause I have had a dcb in the past that I allowed to do this and he kept peeing on the floor to the point that we had to have our carpets replaced and I have those really expensive $500 lg education carpets from Lakeshore so I am NOT trying to go down that path again! So I told her to bring her in pull-ups! Problem is she wants me to put her on the potty every hour............we have tried doing this with this dcg three other times with no success. We have a pretty busy day so stopping every hour isn't really something we can do. However I do have in my schedule timed potty breaks 9am, 11:30, 2:30 & 5pm. The other problem I have is DCM thinks daycare is a fashion show so she sends dcg in non-child friendly clothing so I have to strip her down each time stick her on the potty etc........ in the past DCM gets annoyed when dcg doesn't go potty here or has accidents............like I am some kind of magical potty training fairy! Now I have posted about DCM in the past...........she bases all of her daughters mile stones on what her friends kids are doing so since dcg isn't potty trained or knows her colors I have to hear about it everyday........some times she is just venting to me but honestly I feel like turning to her and saying.........."I GOT ENOUGH OF MY OWN PROBLEMS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOURS TOO!" When she says stuff about dcg not pottying or knowing her colors I feel like she is blaming me for failing to teach her this...........my kids are older and both A & B students........when they grew up I worked outside the home they went to a "play all day daycare" I never stressed with them learning anything before Kindergarten.................my only goal for them in a day was to get as dirty as possible and to have as much fun as they could. They couldn't even write their own names when they entered Kindergarten and I could have cared less!!!! I get questions all the time from DCM when did your kids ..................................... and my answer is they learned in Kindergarten!

So I want to get a feel for what other providers do, what are your rules? Below is what my contract says:
20. Potty Training:
If your child is old enough to potty train, I will help you potty train them while they are in my care. I do expect you to continue the training once you pick up your child in the evening. Please do not send child in pull-ups/under pants until they have been using the potty at home for 2 weeks successfully.

[LaLa1923]

Need some advise on policies! I have a DCM that insists on potty training dcg she will be 3yrs in March 2013 and really doesn't show any efforts (here) to potty. So today when DCM dropped her off she said dcg has been successful all weekend pottying and wanted to know if she can start sending her in panties...........I told her no cause I have had a dcb in the past that I allowed to do this and he kept peeing on the floor to the point that we had to have our carpets replaced and I have those really expensive $500 lg education carpets from Lakeshore so I am NOT trying to go down that path again! So I told her to bring her in pull-ups! Problem is she wants me to put her on the potty every hour............we have tried doing this with this dcg three other times with no success. We have a pretty busy day so stopping every hour isn't really something we can do. However I do have in my schedule timed potty breaks 9am, 11:30, 2:30 & 5pm. The other problem I have is DCM thinks daycare is a fashion show so she sends dcg in non-child friendly clothing so I have to strip her down each time stick her on the potty etc........ in the past DCM gets annoyed when dcg doesn't go potty here or has accidents............like I am some kind of magical potty training fairy! Now I have posted about DCM in the past...........she bases all of her daughters mile stones on what her friends kids are doing so since dcg isn't potty trained or knows her colors I have to hear about it everyday........some times she is just venting to me but honestly I feel like turning to her and saying.........."I GOT ENOUGH OF MY OWN PROBLEMS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOURS TOO!" When she says stuff about dcg not pottying or knowing her colors I feel like she is blaming me for failing to teach her this...........my kids are older and both A & B students........when they grew up I worked outside the home they went to a "play all day daycare" I never stressed with them learning anything before Kindergarten.................my only goal for them in a day was to get as dirty as possible and to have as much fun as they could. They couldn't even write their own names when they entered Kindergarten and I could have cared less!!!! I get questions all the time from DCM when did your kids ..................................... and my answer is they learned in Kindergarten!

So I want to get a feel for what other providers do, what are your rules? Below is what my contract says:
20. Potty Training:
If your child is old enough to potty train, I will help you potty train them while they are in my care. I do expect you to continue the training once you pick up your child in the evening. Please do not send child in pull-ups/under pants until they have been using the potty at home for 2 weeks successfully.

I'm kind of at odds on this one..... I'm not sure how anyone expects a child to potty train with diapers on. As a provider and parent, I see both sides. I'm thinking about putting in my contact to potty train at home for one week then return to care where we can both continue. I'm not sure yet myself, but my kids were trained cold turkey.....

[daycaremom76]

When I started this business I didn't have a problem with going from diapers to undies until I had a dcb that peed none stop. He never told me when he had to go. I would put him on the potty, he would pee and then like 20 minutes later there would be another puddle in the middle of the carpet! I don't let the kids drink non-stop all day so it wasn't like he drank too much. This went on for a good 6 months before I just had to let him go. Now I have new carpets and I am not trying to have my house smell like a urinal again! Up until now I really haven't had to face the issue again and that whole nightmare plays in my head. My daughter was a fast learner, once she got her first set of Hello Kitty undies she was done with the diapers. My son took a little longer but he used pull-ups. The only thing that makes me aprehensive with this dcg is that this is the 3rd attempt to potty train her. In the past the dcm decided pull-ups were to expensive and since she wasn't going at home dcm gave up. Now all the sudden she comes in today out of the blue and dcg is potty trained! However dcg didn't even show interest in the potty today and infact she never even peed on it today, but she peed in her pull-up all day. The dcm tells me stories all the time about what her gf's kids do and how advanced they are compared to dcg so I can't tell if this is just dcm pushing again cause all her friends' kids are trained or if dcg is really ready.

[daycaremom76]

oh and as a side note...........dcm hasn't said anything about potty dcg in weeks, no mention at all. And then suddenly this morning after a 2 day weekend she is trained.

[Scout]

I would tell mom that all kids reach milestones at different times & that dkg is not ready to be potty trained. If she peed in the pull up all day while in your care it is pretty apparent that there is too much going on for her to go potty. Explain that you are not able to take dkg to the bathroom every hour but, that you are asking her every hour if she has to go. I would also ask that she be in simple pull down pants or skirts with simple shirts as well. Good luck!

[Holiday Park]

When my son stayed with a provider for 1 week, when I worked outside the home earlier this year (*I work outside the home 2-3wks out of the year at my husbands job*) , my son had just started going on his potty more consistently and signing toilet. (he wasn't even a year old then) She tried taking him, but he would act afraid to go,and not even sign to tell her he had to go. But on the last day of his care that week, he went potty for her,and was not even afraid. When i picked him up that evening,he even signed to me that he had to go.

I think some need to just get used to the habit in the different environment (of day care). You could tell this mom that kids are slower to adjust to PT'ing at daycare, compared to home because they tend to be "too busy" to stop and want to go. Or you could very jokingly tell her to get her dd on a video going,since she acts like shes not even PT, at your house.

[daycaremom76]

This has weighed on my big time last night. I didn't get to bed until after 3am and it's 7am here now and I am totally feeling it! So after researching what the experts say (us) I have come up with this policy.........let me know what you think!
POTTY TRAINING POLICY


When you feel your child is ready for toilet teaching, I ask that you begin this teaching at home during a weekend or vacation. I will follow through and encourage your child while in my care. Toilet training will be done in a relaxed manner. I require that the child must be at least 18 months old and must be showing signs of readiness. The child must be kept in pull-ups at all times. Please keep in mind that the activity level here can distract your child from responding to an urge to use the potty, more so than at your home. Therefore, I will continue to use pull-ups until your child can and will announce that he/she must use the bathroom (not just at home, but here, as well) and can control his/her bladder and bowels for a few minutes beyond that announcement.

Do not bring your child in panties or underwear until they have naptime and bedtime control established. During potty training the child needs to be dressed in “User friendly” clothing as much as possible. The best items are shorts and pants with elastic waists. Try to avoid really tight clothing, shirts that snap in the crouch, pants with snaps & zippers and overalls as often as you can. Your child will need to pull pants up and down, plus clothing with too many buttons or snaps makes it harder to get the child on the potty in time.

I will only begin helping to potty train a child if you have been successful at home for a week prior. Please don’t ask me to begin potty training your child if you haven’t successfully began training at home. I will gladly follow your means of potty training. For example, if your child is rewarded a sticker for each potty in the chair, just provide the stickers I will follow your lead (no candy) I will not discipline your child if he/she has an accident.

During potty training you are asked to supply me with at least 3 extra full changes of clothing, including socks and training & plastic pants or pull ups. These are to be left here and replaced as needed. Soiled clothes will be returned in a plastic bag at the end of the day.

Toilet Learning Readiness

Verbal Stages of Readiness:
· The child tells you he/she has a wet diaper.
· The child tells you he/she is wetting their diaper.
· The child tells you he/she will wet diaper, can control her/himself and use a toilet.

Physical and Psychological Signs of Readiness:
· Stays dry for a long time.
· Can recognize when diaper is wet or soiled.
· Has bowel movements at a regular times.
· Adults can recognize when a child is moving his bowels.
· Can undress and pull up their own pants. (Important because this is the work of the child not caregiver.)
· Initiates interest in using the toilet and ask to wear underwear.
· Wants to be independent
· Is able to physically get to the toilet and sit on it without help.
· Must show a willingness to want to sit on the toilet and understand its function.

My Policy Requires the Following:

· Child will wear loose fitting clothing, which is easy to pull up/down by child.
· No overalls, bib-type pants, onesies, or T-shirts with snaps between the legs
· No pants with belts or one-piece outfits
· A minimum of 3 changes of clothing, including sock, 3-4 pairs of training pants to leave here(an extra pair of shoes would also be helpful.)
· Positive reinforcement must be continued at home.



For the first week, the child will be scheduled to use the toilet at consistent times of the day whether the child indicates the need to use the toilet or not:

9:00 AM
11:30 AM
2:30 PM
5:00 PM




Potty training Policy Agreement

I have fully read the Potty Training Policy and agree to comply with the policies set forth.

[LaLa1923]

This has weighed on my big time last night. I didn't get to bed until after 3am and it's 7am here now and I am totally feeling it! So after researching what the experts say (us) I have come up with this policy.........let me know what you think!
POTTY TRAINING POLICY


When you feel your child is ready for toilet teaching, I ask that you begin this teaching at home during a weekend or vacation. I will follow through and encourage your child while in my care. Toilet training will be done in a relaxed manner. I require that the child must be at least 18 months old and must be showing signs of readiness. The child must be kept in pull-ups at all times. Please keep in mind that the activity level here can distract your child from responding to an urge to use the potty, more so than at your home. Therefore, I will continue to use pull-ups until your child can and will announce that he/she must use the bathroom (not just at home, but here, as well) and can control his/her bladder and bowels for a few minutes beyond that announcement.

Do not bring your child in panties or underwear until they have naptime and bedtime control established. During potty training the child needs to be dressed in “User friendly” clothing as much as possible. The best items are shorts and pants with elastic waists. Try to avoid really tight clothing, shirts that snap in the crouch, pants with snaps & zippers and overalls as often as you can. Your child will need to pull pants up and down, plus clothing with too many buttons or snaps makes it harder to get the child on the potty in time.

I will only begin helping to potty train a child if you have been successful at home for a week prior. Please don’t ask me to begin potty training your child if you haven’t successfully began training at home. I will gladly follow your means of potty training. For example, if your child is rewarded a sticker for each potty in the chair, just provide the stickers I will follow your lead (no candy) I will not discipline your child if he/she has an accident.

During potty training you are asked to supply me with at least 3 extra full changes of clothing, including socks and training & plastic pants or pull ups. These are to be left here and replaced as needed. Soiled clothes will be returned in a plastic bag at the end of the day.

Toilet Learning Readiness

Verbal Stages of Readiness:
· The child tells you he/she has a wet diaper.
· The child tells you he/she is wetting their diaper.
· The child tells you he/she will wet diaper, can control her/himself and use a toilet.

Physical and Psychological Signs of Readiness:
· Stays dry for a long time.
· Can recognize when diaper is wet or soiled.
· Has bowel movements at a regular times.
· Adults can recognize when a child is moving his bowels.
· Can undress and pull up their own pants. (Important because this is the work of the child not caregiver.)
· Initiates interest in using the toilet and ask to wear underwear.
· Wants to be independent
· Is able to physically get to the toilet and sit on it without help.
· Must show a willingness to want to sit on the toilet and understand its function.

My Policy Requires the Following:

· Child will wear loose fitting clothing, which is easy to pull up/down by child.
· No overalls, bib-type pants, onesies, or T-shirts with snaps between the legs
· No pants with belts or one-piece outfits
· A minimum of 3 changes of clothing, including sock, 3-4 pairs of training pants to leave here(an extra pair of shoes would also be helpful.)
· Positive reinforcement must be continued at home.



For the first week, the child will be scheduled to use the toilet at consistent times of the day whether the child indicates the need to use the toilet or not:

9:00 AM
11:30 AM
2:30 PM
5:00 PM




Potty training Policy Agreement

I have fully read the Potty Training Policy and agree to comply with the policies set forth.

Sounds good. !!!!
However, each child is different and you may need to take them every 30 mins, 45 mins, 1hr etc. They may not ask to go, you might just need to take them.
Also, I know all kids reach it at a certain point where they are ready... However, 3 years old is pushing it. They should IMO be at least starting it then,,,and then that seems late too. I say this bc I've been in positions where kids learn they can control potty training and so they stall and basically tell you no. I had to potty train a 4 year old! Mom and dad said "she wasn't ready".....I wouldn't stand for a 4 year old going in their pants, she was done in a week...
I'm just trying to help you, I've had horror stories!!!

[cheerfuldom]

I would not take a child every 30 minutes, that is just not feasible. I dont even do every hour. Part of potty training is for this girl to go when the opportunity is there (scheduled time) and then communicate that she has to go at any other time. MOM needs to help teach her to recognize her needs and then communicate her needs by telling someone she needs to go. A child peeing on the potty isnt the whole part of potty training! The rest is undressing/dressing themselves, washing hands themselves, communicating their needs. I think the problem here is that mom's definition is just for her child to go on the potty but the provider's definition includes a lot more. I would not allow undies only until they are two weeks accident free AT DAYCARE so i see it for myself. you can layer pullups OVER underwear so that the child can still feel wetness. mom can also provider cloth trainers that again have cloth next to the body but still have a waterproof layer. I dont do cold turkey for daycare kids, I also dont train daycare kids....i only support what i am already seeing from the child or seeing done at home.

[daycaremom76]

above is what I gave to dcm this morning and her first response was that dcg doesn't know how to pull up/down her own pants. And dcm doesn't have money to buy pull-ups this week so she will try again next week. This is exactly my point............neither dcg or dcm are ready to be serious about this. I have taken dcg twice to the potty (in less then an hour) and she trickled each time. I printed her off a potty chart and now she keeps saying every 5 minutes she has to go! I am going to ask her every hour and see how that goes. I also have tons of diapers and pull-ups from other kids that out grew them or were left so I put a pull-up on her to see how she does. So far she's stayed dry so that's a good sign. Apparently she just let dcg run around in her undies all weekend and that just isn't something she can do here so learning here is going to be new for her!

[Scout]

When my son stayed with a provider for 1 week, when I worked outside the home earlier this year (*I work outside the home 2-3wks out of the year at my husbands job*) , my son had just started going on his potty more consistently and signing toilet. (he wasn't even a year old then) She tried taking him, but he would act afraid to go,and not even sign to tell her he had to go. But on the last day of his care that week, he went potty for her,and was not even afraid. When i picked him up that evening,he even signed to me that he had to go.

I think some need to just get used to the habit in the different environment (of day care). You could tell this mom that kids are slower to adjust to PT'ing at daycare, compared to home because they tend to be "too busy" to stop and want to go. Or you could very jokingly tell her to get her dd on a video going,since she acts like shes not even PT, at your house.

wow...before a year!That's awesome.

[LaLa1923]

I would not take a child every 30 minutes, that is just not feasible. I dont even do every hour. Part of potty training is for this girl to go when the opportunity is there (scheduled time) and then communicate that she has to go at any other time. MOM needs to help teach her to recognize her needs and then communicate her needs by telling someone she needs to go. A child peeing on the potty isnt the whole part of potty training! The rest is undressing/dressing themselves, washing hands themselves, communicating their needs. I think the problem here is that mom's definition is just for her child to go on the potty but the provider's definition includes a lot more. I would not allow undies only until they are two weeks accident free AT DAYCARE so i see it for myself. you can layer pullups OVER underwear so that the child can still feel wetness. mom can also provider cloth trainers that again have cloth next to the body but still have a waterproof layer. I dont do cold turkey for daycare kids, I also dont train daycare kids....i only support what i am already seeing from the child or seeing done at home.

Potty learning is also about responding to the child..........The potty schedule needs to fit their needs not the providers.....It needs to be convenient for the child.

[cheerfuldom]

Potty learning is also about responding to the child..........The potty schedule needs to fit their needs not the providers.....It needs to be convenient for the child.

I disagree but that fine with me. I have successfully potty trained a number of children with my method so I feel comfortable with my policy and what I can provide with kids. I am absolutely an advocate of listening to what a parents approach is and doing what you can to accommodate a childs personality and preferences....I promise I am not a hard core militant person. BUT I do believe that part of potty training within a daycare situation is the parent and provider communicating what each can and will do and making sure that expectations are reasonable and realistic. Taking a child to the potty every 30 minutes is not at all reasonable with my daycare set up....I would be in the bathroom literally all day since right now, I have two kids potty training, plus another that will be starting within a few months. I think that taking a child to the potty on a schedule and NOT teaching them to communicate their own needs is training the parent/provider, not the child.

[Blackcat31]

However, each child is different and you may need to take them every 30 mins, 45 mins, 1hr etc. They may not ask to go, you might just need to take them.

If child doesn't go on their own, I do NOT ask them. Part of toilet training is knowing they have to go. If I have to TELL them to go every couple hours/minutes etc, then they are not trained. I am.

Potty learning is also about responding to the child..........The potty schedule needs to fit their needs not the providers.....It needs to be convenient for the child.

I also disagree with this. I am a group child care, meaning I care for more than one child. It can NOT be at the convenience of the child at all times. I have to do what is best for the group as a whole.


If children require this kind of individual attention to their training process then I fully expect the parent to take some time off over a long weekend or over a vacation period and teach their child on their time.

I will NEVER take a child to the restroom at specifically timed intervals. I will NOT undress or redress a child who is training (they should know these skills BEFORE training). I do NOT allow children to be in underwear while at daycare until they have gone a FULL two weeks without an accident. This is for sanitary reasons and sanitary requirements trump all potty training requirements.

Parents who expect their child care providers to do more than 50% of the work need to really take a step back and realize who is the parent and who is the provider.

Parents parent (or teach) their children toilet use.

Providers provide (or supply) the environment that supports these newly taught skills.

[daycaremom76]

Potty learning is also about responding to the child..........The potty schedule needs to fit their needs not the providers.....It needs to be convenient for the child.

I have to disagree with this too! I have 7 kids total and I waited until I took dcg to the bathroom before I responded. DCG does not know how to pull down her own pants, not to mention she is wearing tight jeans so it's that much harder. I gave her a pull-up to put on and she can't pull that down either or pull either up. So I timed it total and it took me 9 minutes from start to finish with her. This is not something that I could do every 30 minutes. Mean while during those 9 minutes the other 6 kids were in a free for all. I asked them to sit at the table while I took her potty but they are 2-3 and their attention spands last 2 minutes while I am out of sight. Not to mention we have a full daily schedule and it isn't fair to the other kids that it is constantly interupted for a potty break. Also taking a child every 30 minutes is only teaching them to pee every 30 minutes and that is only setting them up for failure. What happens when you switch to underpants and go to the store...........30 minutes they are ready to potty again and if you don't take them they have an accident. DCG has gone twice successfully today with telling me however from 6:40am - 11am she has told me about every 10 minutes she had to go............after the 8th time and nothing I stopped taking her when she said she had to go. Once she saw she got a sticker on her chart it became a game, because when I said "no" she freaked out and started screaming and crying so I thought she must really have to go so I took her. Went through the process of taking her stuff off sat her on the potty and a second later she said "All finished can I have a sticker?" This happened 8x (yup I'm a ****er) before I switched back to the set time I do diaper changes.