Missed Miscarriage and Daycare

[Angelwings36]

I have had the worst weekend of my life! On Friday night I ended up going into the hospital due to bleeding. I was suppose to be 8 weeks, 4 days pregnant and I knew something was wrong the second I started bleeding. The doctor took my blood work, urine and did and ultrasound. My hcg levels came back 17,000 but the doctor said she couldn’t get a good enough picture in the ultrasound because her machine was too small but that she did see the gestational sac so I was to come back at 10am Saturday morning for a better ultrasound. Before I left she said she thought maybe I had a low lying placenta and this was the cause of the bleeding. The bleeding slowed down once I got home Friday night to a light spotting. On Saturday morning the doctor did both an external and internal ultrasound but could not find the babies heart beat. I later found out baby only measured 6.5 weeks (2 weeks smaller than I was suppose to be) and my hcg levels were the same as the day before. The doctor informed me that I had a missed miscarriage and I was to go home, the bleeding would get heavier and if it got too heavy to return to the hospital immediately. On Wednesday morning I have an appointment to see a gynecologist for another ultrasound to ensure I had passed everything.

So here I am sitting at home waiting to complete the miscarriage and the bleeding has not got heavier at all, in fact it has almost completely stopped!

My husband and I have been trying now for almost 2 years to conceive so this has completely devastated us.

I told all of my daycare families on Sunday through text message what was going on as I had to close on Wednesday for my appointment not knowing if I would need to go for a d and c that day or not and I may have to at any point close immediately if the bleeding gets heavier so I can return to emerge. I opened today, which I really feel I shouldn’t have. I have 8 more days of work (less Wednesday) before my Christmas holidays and I didn’t want my families to be stranded for care but this is just so hard! I don’t know how I am going to get through this. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this while running daycare?

Thanks.

[bunnyslippers]

I am so sorry. I, too, have been in this position. I was trying to get pregnant with my second child, and finally did. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, and I opened my daycare through the process of losing the baby. It was so incredibly difficult. To top it all off, I had two dcms that were pregnant at the time - talk about rubbing salt in the wound! I was an emotional wreck, and taking care of children that week was brutal. If you can, take the day off tomorrow or Thursday. I know it is not easy to close, and that it is an inconvenience for your clients; however, you need to take care of yourself. This is an emotional and physically exhausting process. I really feel you need a couple of days to yourself.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers!

[SilverSabre25]

First off, my condolances on the loss of your baby (((hugs)))

second, don't worry about the families and their situation and your upcoming holidays. Take care of YOU and make sure you do whatever you need to (close, etc) in order to take care of the miscarriage. Make sure to let yourself grieve.

[nanglgrl]

I have no advice or shared experience but I wanted to offer my condolences and wish you the best. I will be thinking of you.

[melilley]

So sorry! I went through the same thing and I was 12 weeks along. I agree with SilverSaber25, take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve. While I didn't have my daycare when it happened to me, I did work at one and I didn't give myself time to emotionally heel and it was very difficult to work with the babies in my care. Thinking of you.

[Blackcat31]

Angelwings......((((((((HUGS))))))) I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I wish there was something I could do. Just know that we are all keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

[mom2many]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a miscarriage when I was just 6 weeks along and it was very difficult. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

[SunshineMama]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself first, and daycare second.

[Michelle]

I lost my daughter at 24 weeks and it was very devastating.
You need to close! Take care of yourself first.
Next week after you recover, open but tell all the parents that you may need to call their back up numbers in case you need it.

[Scout]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I had one in between my kids, very early, at only 4 weeks though. I didn't have time to even confirm the pregnancy. I would suggest taking it easy as your body goes through this process. I went back to work the following Monday(bleeding started Sat. morning) & it was very upsetting. Prayers to you.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

AngelWings, I had my 3rd miscarriage in March (almost out of the 1st trimester) and did not close a day. It was very hard on me emotionally but I REALLY appreciated the distraction the children gave me. I delivered my baby into my hands in the middle of the night (after taking a lot of herbs to induce the miscarriage because walking around with my deceased baby inside me was awful) and delivered the placenta a little bit later when children were present. In fact, I delivered it while teaching fully clothed and had to run to the restroom.

I fully understand how difficult it is physically/emotionally and you might just need to weigh the pros and cons. For me, I couldn't close down and I actually enjoyed the distraction of working.

[Binkybobo]

AngelWings, I had my 3rd miscarriage in March (almost out of the 1st trimester) and did not close a day. It was very hard on me emotionally but I REALLY appreciated the distraction the children gave me. I delivered my baby into my hands in the middle of the night (after taking a lot of herbs to induce the miscarriage because walking around with my deceased baby inside me was awful) and delivered the placenta a little bit later when children were present. In fact, I delivered it while teaching fully clothed and had to run to the restroom.

I fully understand how difficult it is physically/emotionally and you might just need to weigh the pros and cons. For me, I couldn't close down and I actually enjoyed the distraction of working.

Wow. There are somestrong ladies on this forum for sure.
@Angelwings, I have never been in this situation and could not imagine working through this, but reading these other posts reminds me that we women are superhuman though you may not feel like it right now. Do what your heart is telling you to do. You may need the distraction of the children. On the other hand you may need time alone to regroup. Either way I couldn't imagine what type of person would be upset if you chose to close. Being the person that I am, I probably would have chosen to stay home or find other care for my child today just to give you a break.

[Angelwings36]

Thanks for all your support and advice. I am having a really difficult day today. My emotions are all over the place and I just can't seem to stay focused on anything. I find it hard to be around the babies, which I know is wrong but I'm finding it so hard. I'm going to try to open again tomorrow but I may end up taking the end of the week off after my appointment on Wednesday but I guess we will see. I still have not passed the baby so the whole waiting stage is just awful too.

[spud912]

I don't have any experience in this either but just wanted to give my support and hugs. You and your family are in my prayers!

[cheerfuldom]

Im so sorry to hear your news. there is no right or wrong way to do things in this situation. you just do what you feel is best and that will be the right thing.