Went To The Party. Total Cold Shoulder!

[EchoMom]

So another one bites the dust... Termed another family today... Relationship had been going downhill fast. Went to the kids birthday party today and that was the last straw! The family WHO INVITED US and even followed up and kept asking are we coming, hope your DS can come, etc. We went and they gave us the total cold shoulder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They totally ignored us! No one greeted us, no one offered us food or drink, no one was friendly or introduced us, no one even really paid attention to my DS who luckily is too young to know things like that.

DCG kept coming up to me because obviously she knows me and was sitting on my lap and kept wanting me to pick her up. But the family members all were awful! Then after playing for awhile they all migrated to the food area to start eating but no one invited us over, they just all left us alone in the playroom!

We left after just 20min. and I immediately sent out the term email when I got home. This was the LAST straw in a series of things that have been making this relationship go downhill fast.

So now, this has been the biggest turnover I've ever had in my daycare in the whole year since I opened...

DCB moved and is not coming back, but at least ended on great terms.

DCG this will be her final week, termed today.

DCG and DCB will be final week, termed on friday after the $35 and $7 late fees and totally not getting it chronic lateness

DCB gone for 6-8 weeks while mom is on maternity leave, but will be coming back at least with a new baby.

I have the spots filled already, but new kids won't be starting till beginning of Jan. and beginning of Feb.

Super bummed about all the losses. Guess this is cleaning house time!

From now on it will certainly be my policy that I do NOT attend personal family events and I do NOT buy birthday presents for all the DCKs!

It's going to be a very awkward week.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Set your mind on Christmas and your vacation (I'm assuming you have one coming up, whether it be one day or two weeks). Go into autopilot mode when it comes to the parents.

I did so to a special parent on Friday who will be leaving soon and it felt great. Nothing she said or the things her child did bothered me. happyface

[Scout]

I can't believe that! My family would've been super welcoming, probably to the point of annoying! :: Why bother inviting you? People amaze me more each day...and not in a good way.

[daycarediva]

That's just terrible. I am so sorry you were treated that way and very glad your ds is too young to understand! I make it a point to never go to dck's outside functions.

[EchoMom]

Thanks everyone, as it's been said many times before, this forum is so precious to me! The only place where people can truly empathize!

[Blackcat31]

I am sorry to hear that things went so badly. I imagine it was pretty uncomfortable.

When you termed this family, did you mention that poor behavior at the party as one of the reasons or is the family in the dark about how rude they were?

Just curious if you told them.

[EchoMom]

I did not tell them. We have already been around and around and around over so many issues discussing things to death and they still have never "got it" so I did not give any explanation, I just gave them two lines, no payment is due tomorrow, such and such is your last day of care, that's the gist.

They didn't come today, good. But by their response I think they still don't get it that we're through.

[Michael]

Sounds like they invited you to babysit for their child while they could party. And for free no less.

[Unregistered]

This was the last straw - something that happened outside of the scope of daycare? As a parent I would be beyond pissed. Ok, they were rude. Maybe they are just naturally rude. I honestly don't understand why you stayed in the playroom, though. All of that aside though IMO it's very unprofessional to term over this. Then to not even give them a reason? Wow.

I term for daycare related issues, and parents don't have to wonder why. I wouldn't go to a client's birthday party anyway though. They are clients.. they are my job.. I don't want to socialize outside of work.

[EchoMom]

Hi unregistered, you sound pretty angry. Are you the parent I'm talking about? LOL Hmm, could be, you never know! :P Thanks for your opinion.

[littlemissmuffet]

This was the last straw - something that happened outside of the scope of daycare? As a parent I would be beyond pissed. Ok, they were rude. Maybe they are just naturally rude. I honestly don't understand why you stayed in the playroom, though. All of that aside though IMO it's very unprofessional to term over this. Then to not even give them a reason? Wow.

I term for daycare related issues, and parents don't have to wonder why. I wouldn't go to a client's birthday party anyway though. They are clients.. they are my job.. I don't want to socialize outside of work.

Disrespect is disrespect, it doesn't matter WHERE it occurs.

And I HIGHLY doubt that as a parent if you were already having endless issues with your daycare provider that if she snubbed you off outside of daycare you wouldn't care or take it personally.



OP, it's a good rule of thumb to not attend personal functions for clients. I get invited but always decline, because my clients are not my friends - and I don't mix business with pleasure.

[crazydaycarelady]

Perhaps their family just does things different than yours. I know when I walk into any of my in-laws house they very well might not say hello but will just continue whatever they were doing. When I first started going over there I thought it was so rude (still do actually) but thats how they are. My family would NEVER not greet someone as they came in. Was the food buffet style - maybe they just assumed you would know to get food. Did you try and start any conversations or mingle?

I don't think I would term for an issue non dc related either. I am guessing they were thinking things were fine or they would not have wanted you at their house?

OP, it's a good rule of thumb to not attend personal functions for clients. I get invited but always decline, because my clients are not my friends - and I don't mix business with pleasure.

I'll second this. I DID enjoy getting to see my clients houses and getting a glimpse into their lives but I don't go to these functions anymore, they just are not enjoyable for me.

[daycare]

I do not attend personal functions for this exact reason. I think that we all end up learning the hard way...

[cheerfuldom]

The OP said there were several issues BEFORE the party and that the party was the LAST straw. It wasnt why she termed....only a confirmation that the relationship had dissolved. I understand that possibly they were not intending to be rude but it sounds like the OP was ready to term anyway, regardless of the party.

[EchoMom]

The OP said there were several issues BEFORE the party and that the party was the LAST straw. It wasnt why she termed....only a confirmation that the relationship had dissolved. I understand that possibly they were not intending to be rude but it sounds like the OP was ready to term anyway, regardless of the party.

You are totally correct. Thanks for "listening"

Yes, this was SOOO already in the works. The mom had already posted a Care.com ad a couple weeks ago, but never followed through on it (I REALLY was hoping she would!) and I had already written a termination email back in November that I was just itching to hit send on.... This was literally just the last straw.

THEY invited us to this party at a kids place they rented out, THEY followed up asking oh I hope your DS is coming, and then once there, SO rude. They didn't even offer my DS a juice box or party favor which they had about a million of. I'm still so upset that they would be so rude to my DS. That was the last straw and why I chose not to tolerate this family any more than this final week. You don't treat me that way, and you DON'T treat my young toddler that way.